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I haven’t given you all a medical update in some time; I know because of the emails I get asking what’s happening.  So, here’s what’s going on.

My back continues to heal from surgery. I began physical therapy last week to help strengthen the muscles around my back. I can’t do much athletic stuff yet. No quick twisting of my body or lifting anything heavy, but other than that, I function pretty normally. I can sit comfortably, which allows me to write and respond to emails. I walk 3 miles each morning with Sara and sleep comfortably overnight.

Sara and I took a few days last week to visit Solvang, a Danish village near here. (Pictured above) It was my first time out since surgery, and it helped relieve some of my cabin fever.

As to my chemotherapy, my oncologist told me last week that we could cut back to every other week instead of every week, as I have endured the previous three and a half months. In March, they are planning to cut back to once per month. He said I am now where patients usually are after six months, so I am grateful for however God may be helping out there. The treatments have become more difficult because my veins are not cooperating as well with the blood draw.  Last time, it took five stabs to find the right vein that would pump enough, and I’m not much for needles. The only side-effects I’ve had from chemo, once we got the nausea regulated, is that I’m often cold, fall asleep at the drop of a hat in the evenings, and have a twitch in my fingers in the first few days after treatment. All in all, those are not too bad.  I know other people dealing with treatments that are having much more difficulty than I am. My thoughts and prayers ar with them.

And I’m excited to send my most recent book to production. Yes, I’ve been sharing the rough drafts of the chapters on my blog as I’ve been working on it, but many people want an actual book in hand or at least on their e-reader. The material in It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age is critical enough that I’m publishing Part I now and will add Part 2 when it is completed.

For those who order by Kindle we will be able to add Part II when it is complete. Print books, however, will have to be reordered. We are making it as inexpensive as possible and still covering our expenses. E-book will be $4.99 and printed version will be $7.99. Hopefully we’ll be able to take orders and get it out next week. We’re shooting for February 18 as our release date.

Here is the full spread of the cover, front and back.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to travel again or if that’s even what Jesus has in mind for this season of our lives. Sara continues to heal from her recently-discovered trauma from childhood and I couldn’t be more proud of the way she takes it on with Jesus.

So, life continues to unfold through uncharted waters and we are grateful for how Jesus is walking with us in this season of our lives. His grace truly is sufficient each day and I love how he clarifies the way in which he wants us to walk. I pray he is doing that for you as well.

The last few years have brought a lot of change to the trajectory of my journey. Living loved is taking me to places I’ve never considered and brought more joy and fullness to my life than I’ve ever known. I’ve shared most of the changes in that journey on the weekly podcast as well as here on my blog. This has been the most transformative season of my life, bar none.

I know people have many questions and insights into how they might process some of that in their own journey, and since I’m not traveling as much these days, I thought I’d hold some occasional Zoom sessions to explore this amazing journey together.

You may want to discuss the content of my latest book, It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age, my current journey praying for the brokenness of the world, or raising up a new generation of young people tuned into Jesus. We can also talk about living loved, gazing with God, healing from trauma, dealing with toxic family members, or anything else you want to talk about.

We will meet by Zoom and begin this Saturday, August 10, at 1:00 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time. Lord willing, we will stream it live on The God Journey Facebook page for those who want to watch live or the recording of it after. If you want to participate in the discussion, please email me in advance for the Zoom link.  And if you want to be added to a list of people I’ll contact for future conversations, even if you can’t make this one, email me as well.

This is meant to be a relaxed conversation among friends, not asking questions of an expert. I’m a brother on a journey and if there’s any way that the things I’ve learned can be a blessing to you, I’m happy to share them.

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Those who enjoyed my last blog about Sara’s garden, Painting with Flowers, can see how magical the night view here.

Note: This is the sixth in a series of letters written for those who are alive in Jesus at the end of the age. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

“I don’t hear you talk a lot about obedience, and that’s all I heard growing up. If I’m not obedient to God, he won’t bless me. I’ve heard so many things God expects of me that I just can’t do it all. How important do you think obedience is to God?
Lael, single, ski instructor and trail guide in the Rockies

Lael,

I’m so glad to hear you’re still out on the Colorado trails, taking in that beauty every day. Does it ever get old?

I love your question; obeying Jesus is more for our benefit than for his. The reason you don’t hear me use that word a lot is because it is so weighted with religious expectations that people miss the real invitation. Many see obedience like a child doing what they are told, often against their will, or even with hostility. Others, like you, think of it as obeying all the Scriptures, and are overwhelmed by how far short they fall.

Obedience to Jesus isn’t like either of those things, which is why I use different terminology. I talk about learning to rest in his love and about following him, which is obedience by a better name.

Let me illustrate through one of the most engaging days I’ve ever experienced. It happened on a visit to the home of C.S. Lewis, called The Kilns in Oxford, England. A couple of friends took me there, as I was doing a seminar in nearby Wales. A young, American student living in the home was to be our guide. When we arrived, however, she said she was happy to do the tour, but if we could wait thirty minutes, we would be in for a treat. We had no idea what she meant, but we were intrigued enough to take her up on the offer.

She ushered us in to Lewis’s library and told us to make ourselves comfortable. We gawked wide-eyed at his books and the desk where he wrote. Eventually, two men came into the house and entered the study. After a brief introduction of first names, the older of the two men started telling us about the house, but in surprisingly intimate terms. He talked of conversations with Lewis and shared anecdotes of their relationship, which was warm and humorous.

It took me a while to work out who he was but when I did, I gasped. This was Walter Hooper, Lewis’s secretary in his later years, and the editor of his posthumous works; I had read many of his books about Lewis. For the next hour and a half, we walked the house and grounds with him. It was the tour of a lifetime, not just of the home but into the mind and manner of Lewis himself, from someone who knew him well and had spent much time with him.

Following Jesus in this world is much like following Walter Hooper around The Kilns, only way better. Jesus doesn’t just know God; he is God. He partnered in the creation of the world and knows exactly how it functions and how the life of his Father finds its way into the chaos of its brokenness to redeem us out of it. Who wouldn’t want to follow him?

Wherever He Goes

“They follow the Lamb wherever he goes.” (Revelation 14:4)

From the first time I heard those words at a very young age, they captured me. For reasons I couldn’t explain, they caused my heart to soar with the thrill of adventure. What would it be like to follow the Lamb wherever he goes?

As I grew older, however, and became more schooled in the performance demands of Christianity, the words became less inviting and more ominous. Instead of following Jesus, I learned to obey the Scriptures, thinking them the same thing. And while I tried to do that, it took a long time for me to realize I was trying to apply the interpretations of the Bible by those who saw it as a rule book to appease God. The thrill of adventure vanished as I became a rule-keeper instead of a Jesus-follower. I felt constrained by admonitions such as, “love your enemies,” “die daily,” and “lay down your life.” It seemed God always wanted the worst thing for me, and trying to do that on my own was fraught with frustration and failure.

Even still, wanting to ingratiate myself to Jesus in my late teens, I gave Jesus a global “yes,” telling him I would follow him—even if I didn’t like it, even if it cost me my life, even though no one went with me. Of course, I mostly failed, but I would repent and try harder the next time, aspiring to be the most radical Christian I knew. Unfortunately, it often led me to think better of myself than I merited, and to looking down on those who weren’t working as hard.

My first real surrender to him was over my career. At eighteen, I wanted to be an air traffic controller, but I had moments where I felt “called to ministry,” words I wouldn’t use in that context today. During my senior year of high school, through an extraordinary circumstance, God confirmed to me that he wanted me to teach the Scriptures. So, with some disappointment I went off to earn a Bible degree, and afterwards went into pastoral ministry.

Following him at this stage often came with regret and fear as to what he might ask of me. After all, the words about following the Lamb wherever he goes comes from the book of Revelation, for many, the most terrifying book in the New Testament. John is describing the 144,000 whom God puts his seal on before the tribulation of the last days. There are 12,000 from each tribe of Israel. Who are they? I’m not sure, to be honest. Some say they are redeemed Israelites; others say they are a metaphor for those who will be saved at the end. I’m not sure either of those is correct, especially since Revelation 7 describes another multitude in white robes too numerous to count who come out of the great tribulation as well.

Many have tried to turn this 144,000 into a special class of Christian; I’m making no such claim here. God knows who they are, and what role they will have in the end, but how John describes them is how I want to live:

“These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as first fruits to God and the Lamb. No lie was found in their mouths; they are blameless.” (Revelation 14:4-5)

“Defiled by women,” is an unfortunate interpretation of those words. Women don’t defile men, and I don’t think the encouragement here is only for males. He may be addressing certain people who in the last day are virgins, but it’s a strange conclusion that God’s gift of sexuality, properly embraced, defiles someone. The appeal here is most likely for sexual purity.

“No lie was found in their mouths.” I love that. The most painful conflicts I’ve had have come from people who don’t know what’s true or refuse to live in it. They lie under pressure and spread misinformation to gain leverage over others. We’ll talk about the passion for truth in a future chapter.

But the gold here is found in this simple expression: “They follow the Lamb wherever he goes.” I love the simplicity of those words. They don’t have to get everything right, they are not perfect, gifted, specially anointed, or powerful people. They just follow the Lamb wherever he goes. Simple? In concept, yes. I only need to see him in my life and follow what he reveals. But simple isn’t always easy.

An Exquisite Invitation

Admittedly, up until my early forties, most of my obedience was out of obligation or fear. That’s not all bad. Doing what I thought pleased him kept me from paying the price for some of my selfish desires. However, it did not make me perfect, and, more importantly, it did not endear me to him. The constant struggle for obedience frustrated me since my aspiration to follow was greater than my capacity to do so.

Looking back now, I realize that trying to follow Jesus out of fear won’t take us far. We will not follow someone for long that we don’t love and admire, and with whom we feel safe. You may get a few things right living like that, but you won’t follow him wherever he goes because you won’t be close enough to him to see where he’s going.

In my early forties that began to change for me. In another decisive moment, the betrayal of a close friend opened another door for me. Jesus invited me not to fight for my position. “I have more to teach you if you walk away than if you stay,” were the words that kept stirring in my mind. I tried to argue around them, wondering what I still needed to learn. I thought I had it all figured out. Little did I know how far off the mark I was. Rote obedience to our concept of God’s expectations does not invite us into kingdom life. Over time, following him down that road changed my life in ways that answered the deepest hunger of my heart and made following him the greatest adventure of my life.

As I weathered the anger of betrayal and the fear of how I would provide for my family, I began to learn the most important lesson of my life—obedience was not the way to gain his love and favor; I already had it. The essence of the Gospel and the fruit of Jesus’s Incarnation demonstrated that I am loved even in my brokenness. Following the Lamb wherever he goes was not a command at all, but an exquisite invitation into an extraordinary way to live.

In these days, Jesus is wooing his bride back to himself, waking her from slumber, drawing her into his love so that she can discover the joy of walking alongside him through joy and pain. If Jesus is in the periphery of your vision, now is the time to set your focus on him.

Where to Begin

If you want to follow Jesus wherever he goes, you will want to first learn to relax deeply into his Father’s love. That took years for me, but as I did, I became more aware of his presence. I could sense his affection for me and recognize more consistently his care and the insights he offered.

Now, I had Someone to follow who cared about me and invited me into his story of redemption not only for me but also for the world around me. Even when he invited me down difficult roads, trusting in his love made it possible for me to follow, knowing he had resources beyond mine and would care for me even when situations didn’t turn out as I hoped. He always had another path that would invite me deeper into his way of thinking.

Rarely, if ever, did he demand me to do anything. He offered me opportunities to follow him. When I did, wonderful things happened even when it meant a more difficult path than I would have chosen. When I ignored his invitations, thinking I already knew best, circumstances usually got worse, were hurtful to others, or led to unresolvable pain.

As I become more attuned to his heart, I find him a steady presence to navigate the chaos of a fallen world. There’s no way my marriage with Sara would have survived her trauma if he had not walked us through it by preparing us in advance, holding our hearts when the darkness came, and lighting a path that drew us back together in a way that made her trauma our trauma, so we could walk a healing path together.

While he is willing to guide us at times like this, he also wants us to learn how to make wise and wonderful decisions inside his love. He doesn’t want to micromanage us. He cares about what we think, and the choices we would make. He responds to our concerns and questions, though often slower and more subtly than we might hope for and with insights that will challenge us into his truth. It is like looking through a darkened mirror most days but keep looking for him and you’ll see his fingerprints and sense his nudges.

In the joy of walking with him, however, I am always aware that this is not a friendship between equals. He is God after all, with all the wisdom and strength I need to make sense of life. He knows the best way to traverse every stage of my journey as he unravels the darkness with the wonder of his glory. I don’t want to convince him to do things my way anymore; I want him to make his way clear enough for me to follow.

You will find no greater purpose or no better path to wholehearted living than you will partnering with him in his unfolding purpose for you. It will perfectly dovetail with the better side of your personality and the hungers that lie deep in your soul. That’s why describing it as obedience doesn’t do it justice. It’s a journey inside all that is right and true about the universe and will make you part of the world’s redemption instead of adding to its misery.

His desire is not to order us about so he will look good, or to enlist our free labor for his benefit. My most profound moments of sensing his will and following him have all come as invitations, not demands. While this has surprised me many times, it really shouldn’t have. What kind of bridegroom would boss his bride around, and what bride would willingly endure it?

Tenderly and graciously, he invites his bride into his heart. To coerce her would be to violate her nature, as would trying to gain power over her through threats or intimidation. That’s why his predominant image at the end of the age is a Lamb, not a roaring lion, as we’ll see in the next chapter.

If you’ve lost the thread of following Jesus, perhaps distracted by the shiny things of the world, or worn out on a religious obligation that never seemed fruitful, maybe you never got the chance to learn how to truly follow him. Like me, you may have been chasing a set of rules instead of experiencing a depth of love that you will want to follow to the end of your days. It’s not too late.

Volunteering Freely

In the chapters to come, Lael, I will unpack some things that have helped me follow, even through my darkest days, with an ever-growing sense of adventure. It’s no different than someone having you alongside them, guiding them to the best alpine lakes. You’re not there to control ever detail but to give them options and keep them safe.

We’ll see that following him is not endlessly seeking a “word from God;” it is walking alongside the One who knows you best and loves you most, interacting with him as circumstances come your way. The best place to start is by asking him to show you a love so deep that following him becomes your delight.

He’ll invite you to process your doubts and struggles with him and release a divine creativity he has instilled in you to touch the world with his beauty. Cared for by him, you’ll have the space not to live self-focused, but to be more aware of others around you, and how you might lighten their load. He’s not going to ask you anything that is not inside his love for you and his ability to protect and provide for you through whatever happens.

Who wouldn’t want a guide like that to help them negotiate the illusions and challenges of this fallen world and embrace the beauty of his kingdom coming? When you find him as engaging as I do, you too will find yourself wanting to follow the Lamb wherever he goes. This is how we were meant to live and the fruitfulness of doing so bears its own rewards. That’s what David saw about a future where, “Your people will volunteer freely in the day of Your power.” (Psalm 110:3)

If you want to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, dive into his love and you will joyfully follow him to the ends of the earth.

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You can access previous chapters here. Stay Tuned for Chapter 7 

This is a special thank you for all who gave or prayed with us to find the resource to help restore water to one of the tribes in Kenya whose solar array was destroyed by high winds and blowing debris. They had been without water for three months.  We were able to raise enough to get the well repaired and water flowing again.

This is what we received from our friends and co-laborers in the Gospel there—a video and a message:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l71cUzVv58U

Overflowing water from borehole

The Pokot people are very happy and they are thankful to God and Lifestream for the big support. Now the water is ready and they are completing to put the protection to prevent future damage.

May the Lord bless you abundantly.

You have enriched the lives of a starving people in the northern reaches of Kenya, who only a short time ago were nomads wandering in the bush and warring with other tribes. Today, many of these people have come to embrace Jesus as their Savior through the love of those who came to serve them in his name.  It’s a great story!

A few years ago we helped five starving tribes (over 100,000 people) in North Pokot each to develop a water and agricultural project to give them life. They had no water and had to travel overnight to the nearest well and bring back water to survive. We drilled wells, provided the infrastructure for people to get water, a trough so the animals could drink, and a field where they could grow their own crops. Each of these has exceeded expectations in the first five years. The generosity of the Lifestream and The God Journey audiences gave over three million dollars to help over 13 years.  It has blessed me beyond measure.

However, three months ago tragedy struck one of these projects. High winds and the debris in them damaged the solar array that drives the well. Since then, they have had no water for themselves, their livestock, and their crops. I found out about this yesterday when they sent me this video. It describes what happened and the impact it is having on this village.  

Fellow Kenyans have donated $1370.00 to help make it operational but that is well short of what it will cost.  They need an additional $12,796.00 US to complete the restoration. Would you please help me provide this for them? It is critically important to the survival of these people. Providing water allows them to grow their own crops and water their cattle so they can continue to live.

If you can help us raise this money, please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to “@LifestreamMinistries” or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thank you for your consideration of this need.

I completely botched the announcement for the next live, online, He Loves Me conversation. I originally got the date wrong and now Sara and I have had a shift in our schedule that means I now have to move the time up half an hour. I’m so sorry for the confusion and inconvenience this causes.

Here is the corrected information:

Our discussion about chapters eight and nine of He Loves Me will take place
this coming Saturday, December 9 at 12:30 pm,
half an hour earlier than previously announced.
We will be discussing chapters 8 and 9.

If you’d like to join us, you can find the link for this conversation on the Facebook Group Page, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link. These conversations are held and recorded on Zoom. We stream them live on my Facebook Author Page for those who don’t want to be in the Zoom discussion, and you’ll find our previous conversations there.

No, I’m not blaming the new puppy; I only chose the picture, hoping the cuteness will make people smile when they read about my mistake!  But Zoey does wonder from time to time why we let this little, yippy, biting furball into the house. Watching them bond is hilarious. Mandy is all in; Zoey has her moments. In time, we know that these are destined to be best buds.

In that moment, Saul discovered God’s favor when he had done absolutely nothing to earn it. Instead of being punished, he received an invitation to come into the family he had tried so hard to destroy. Instead of the death he’d brought to others, he was offered a life that he never knew existed.

Saul was left with one inescapable fact: he had done nothing to propel himself above the favor line, but found himself there nonetheless. He found that Jesus had loved him even when he had no idea who he was. For Jesus had shattered the favor line to free Saul from its tyranny. It changed him more than all he’d previously learned about God.

This is where relationship with God begins. It may sound impossible especially if you’ve hoped for this in the past and, like the young mother at the beginning of this chapter, you have only been disappointed by how remote he seemed when you needed him the most. All you knew to do was try even harder to be good enough to win his affection.

But such thinking will never lead you closer to him. Instead of teaching you to love him, it only leaves you angry and frustrated that you can’t do enough, or that he isn’t being fair to you. He wants to break this cycle the only way he can—by making his favor a gift instead of something you earn.

I know you’ve heard me say it often: our awareness of the Father’s love is not something we can achieve; it’s something we relax into. And I know how hard that is to believe, especially if you’ve never known or “felt” his love. But his love for us is as sure as the sun rising in the morning and as certain as his Son dying on the cross to rescue us.

You are already loved!

And now a bit from my story in chapter six:

God doesn’t need us to serve him as a means to attain his love or affection. He wants us to serve him out of the love and affection he already holds for us in his heart. If you have never tasted that reality, you cannot imagine the freedom that lies ahead of you. My Father brought me to the place where I realized that even if I never preached another sermon, never counseled another person, nor ever led someone to Christ again, he still delighted in me as his child.

That doesn’t mean he approves of everything I do, but it has freed me to know that he loves me—absolutely and completely. I had served God for thirty-four years always with an undercurrent of trying to earn his favor. It has only been in the last twelve that I’ve learned to live in that favor and I’m never going back.

That’s when it became clear. It is not the fear of losing God’s favor that takes us to the depth of fellowship with him and transforms our lives with his holiness. It is our certainty of knowing his unrelenting love for us, even in the midst of our weakness and failure, that lead us to the fullness of his life.

Fear had never taken me to the depths of his life or his transforming power; discovering his delight has. I now know that the key to God’s favor doesn’t rest on what I give him, but what he already has given to me.

He delights in you, too. Can you see him that way over you, exalting and dancing with joy?

No? Do you think your failures and doubts diminish his love for you? Are you afraid you can’t offer him enough to make him notice you?

He doesn’t delight in you because of your deeds or your gifts. He delights in you simply because you are his.

Even if you don’t know that yet, it doesn’t change the facts. He wants you to know, at the core of your being, how deeply loved by God you are. Talk to him about it. Look for his fingerprints and whispers doing our day. He is best seen in subtle movements and heard best in quiet moments. Ask him to help you relax into that reality and cease the fruitless striving that cannot earn what has already been given.

The reason I write, podcast, and hold these conversations about He Loves Me is so you, too, can know that reality. Join us if you want, or listen to these conversations later. They are real people also learning how to live in the reality of his love

If you’ve missed the previous chapters, you can find them here:

• Intro and Chapter One  
• Chapters Two and Three
• Finish Chapter Three and then Four
• Chapter Five