Wayne Jacobsen

Chapter 9: Eyes to See, Ears to Hear 

Note: This is the ninth in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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I know there is a supernatural world all around us, but I don’t seem to be tuned into it. What did Jesus mean when he said some were given to know the mysteries of the kingdom and others were not? Would he leave me out? 

— Marcus, former pastor, now car detailer and father of 3 teenagers in Arizona

Marcus, 

I love your hunger and appreciate your concern, but you can rest assured that Jesus wants you to see into his reality more than you want it. 

Unfortunately, many followers of Jesus have only learned to follow the Scriptures or some leader and not his Spirit who guides us into God’s reality. It is so easy to look with our physical eyes or listen with our physical ears and think with our own reasoning, that most people never learn the joy of life in the Spirit. 

Our physical senses and scientific instruments can only measure the physical world, and the more advanced science becomes, the harder it is to recognize the spiritual dimension affecting everything around us. But there is. And yet, our view of the supernatural has been so over-sensationalized in Christian sermons and novels most people miss the genuine while seeking after audible voices or physical engagements with angels and demons.

As mysterious and powerful as the supernatural can be, it mostly doesn’t come to us that way. My encounters are far more normal and natural when they happen than most people would think. It’s only when I look back that I am awed by all that God did. In the retelling, it is easy to embellish and exaggerate stories in a way that cause people to think they are made up, and reject the supernatural or discourage them from seeing it in their own lives. That’s not to say some encounters can’t be awe-inspiring in the moment, but those are extremely rare by design, and if you’re looking for those to be normalized, you will miss just how his Spirit works. 

I’m glad you haven’t given up that hunger, Marcus. There are no rituals or principles, even biblical ones, that can replace a life of perceiving and responding to his work in you. The wind of the Spirit blows across our lives every day inviting us beyond the world that is temporal, and fraught with pain, illusions, and selfishness, so that we can anchor our hearts in the kingdom that is eternal, unshakeable, and true. Learning to sense his movements around us will lead to a growing fullness in his presence as well as provide the courage and wisdom to navigate any difficulties we face.  

He can show you what he wants you to know, feel the emotions God wants you to feel, and to ensure that you see what you need to see to know how to respond to what’s going on around you. I wish more people were tuned to the realm of the Spirit, which is what this letter is about.  

 

What Many Long to See

Jesus told his disciples that “Many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.” (Matthew 13:16-17) What an amazing gift we’ve been given to see the world around us as God sees it. That hasn’t always been true. Before Jesus’s redemption on the cross that removed our shame and allowed us to rest confidently in his presence, people could not behold him. Still, spiritual blindness can be a problem. 

That’s why Jesus said things like, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them (Matthew 13:11),” or, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear (Mark 4:23, et al).” It is easy to conclude that only a selected few get to see into the supernatural world. So, Marcus, your question about being left out is a fair one. Many don’t see Jesus engaging them in a way they can recognize, and wonder the same thing. 

Looking closer, however, the ability to perceive was not in Jesus’s hands. He was aware that the realities he was bringing inside the human experience were so incredibly different from the world they lived in, that most people would miss them. That’s what he meant when he talked about a narrow road, “Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Mark 7:14). He wasn’t distinguishing between saved and unsaved, but recognizing that those who learn to follow are going to be few. 

That’s not to say he would only reveal himself to a select group of people, but that only a few would be ready to see and follow. I’ve no doubt Jesus wanted to include everyone, but not everyone was ready to be included. Having eyes and ears that can perceive spiritual reality is available to anyone who is ready. Tuning into that frequency is where we discover what’s true about God, ourselves, and the choices we face, as I talked about in my last letter. 

He wants you to have eyes that see and ears to glimpse into that world enough so that we can live freely in truth. In these ever-darkening days, we will need to be more sensitive to him than ever. 

 

Calluses and Veils

 

So how do we cultivate a heart that can see and hear the secrets of the kingdom? Let’s look at how Jesus spoke of it. 

He said those who could not see had “callused hearts.” (Matthew 13). By that he meant their hearts were hardened to what’s true because they lived so long by their own wisdom and desires, even using the Scriptures to make doctrines of their own preferences. 

So, while seeing, they couldn’t really see, and hearing, they couldn’t really hear. They interpreted everything in their own self-interest. Thus, Jesus disguised his words in parables, so they wouldn’t have to reject him yet again. Each time they ignored his leading, the calluses grew thicker. Those who were ready, he pulled aside for more detailed explanations. 

This same problem impacted the early believers as Paul warned them, in the last days hardened hearts would embrace “a form of godliness but denying its power” (2 Timothy 3:5). It’s easy to turn religion into a practice at the expense of presence. He also wrote of false teachers who acted with hypocrisy and lied habitually because their “consciences have been seared” (1 Timothy 4:2). 

The callused heart or seared conscience seems to result from bypassing the overtures of the Spirit in deference to our own ambitions. This is not people making honest mistakes, but those who persistently ignore the Spirit’s overtures to them until it becomes nearly impossible to recognize him anymore. 

So, it is possible for us to be near God’s things but be blind to his reality. In I Corinthians 3 and 4, Paul spoke of a veil that blinds us to his working. This result from substituting religious performance and arrogance for the desire to know him. He specifically tied it to the reading of Moses, which brings a veil over our hearts (3:14-16) The performance-based approach to God blinds us to the relational journey. And yet, many Christians today want to post the Ten Commandments in classrooms or promote Moses’s example of leadership as a guide for church life. That’s the veil, trying to see God through a legalistic lens.

In the next chapter, Paul wrote of how a similar veil influences the world. “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ…” (4:2-4). It is why he preached Christ, because only he can lift the veil to let them see clearly, which is exactly what he wants to do for us. 

So, if you find yourself unable to sense his presence in and around you, or feel you’ve been ignoring his nudges, you may need to turn back to him and ask him to soften your heart. He forgives so readily and over time you’ll begin to recognize his nudges again. But for most people like you, Marcus, I suspect that you’ve not had the opportunity to discover how his Spirit is making himself known to you. 

 

The Prayer

 

The prayer Paul held in his heart for the Colossians (1:9-14 Message), is often one I pray for myself and others:

“(I am) asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works…. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work…. (with) strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

There is so much in those few words; let them capture you. Holding them in my heart helps me tune to the Spirit’s frequency as I recognize how he is working around me. This is where guilt, self-blame, and desperation are not helpful. Trying to be good for God or filling your head with Bible instruction won’t help either. 

Asking him and being patient will help you discern the spiritual world around you and how his Spirit blows through it. This is less about miraculous signs than it is a growing discernment of what he is doing around you and how he is revealing Jesus to you. Celebrate each nudge you feel, each bit of his wisdom that he puts in your mind, and follow where he seems to be leading you.

Rest and quiet are your friends here. Desperation in prayer or action puts us right back in human-effort mode. Staying relaxed in Jesus’s love allows him to show us what we need to know when we need to know it. If he’s not revealing anything to me today, all I need to do is stay open so I’m ready when he does. Trusting him with timing will help immensely; begging for answers we want will only distract you. His timing isn’t anywhere close to what we’d expect. 

Seeing his world in yours is a slow process with a glorious arc. Don’t pressure yourself for quick results, and let him relieve you of unrealistic expectations. This counsel from Julian of Norwich, who lived in the latter half of the 14th Century, is helpful. “We need not worry if we cannot “find” God, for we are only responsible for seeking; no formula exists for finding. The revelation of the Divine Presence is always unpredictable and surprising.” (All Shall Be Well by Ellyn Sanna)

Don’t look for “words” and visions, bells or whistles. What you’re looking for are glimpses into his kingdom in thoughts and nudges that cause you to think differently than your natural inclinations. As you begin this journey, his Spirit will want to help you discover just how deeply loved by God you are, and free you from shame, guilt, and fear that makes it more difficult to see. That’s how he removes the calluses. 

As you awaken further to the Spirit’s work, you’ll have a growing sense of what’s really going on around you and not just what you think might be true. Seeing into his world will be a powerful source of comfort, peace, and courage in the face of your most challenging circumstances.

 

Glimpses of God’s World

 

Most people have misconceptions about the supernatural that limit their ability to engage with it. This is often complicated by those who claim to listen to the Spirit as they manipulate others or build a following. There are many charlatans afoot who dazzle people with their miracle stories, contrived smoke-and-mirror “encounters”, or made-up prophecies. It is easy to fake such things with a crowd, either to build a following or harvest a financial windfall, but it confuses the genuine seeker who doesn’t see the Spirit working like that in their daily lives.

Don’t be fooled by the counterfeit and be careful not to use it as an excuse to reject the genuine. Pretenders can be spotted when you see their “prophecies” don’t come to pass, honest questions provoke their arrogance and anger, and how extravagantly they indulge themselves. The true work of the Spirit leads to increasing authenticity, humility, generosity, tenderness, and an honest portrayal of the supernatural in which everyone can participate. 

Thinking of God as “up there” somewhere as your prayers bounce off the ceiling will impair your ability to glimpse into his kingdom. Heaven, where God dwells, is not primarily a geographical place but a spiritual dimension that surrounds us at every moment. Beholding that world will continually shape in a wonderful way how you live, see, and listen. 

 

Putting Together a Puzzle

I hope this can help you, Marcus. Recognizing the spiritual world around us is more like assembling a puzzle than a list of instructions or a crystal-clear vision. We sense it in bits and pieces as we go about our day and then watch his Spirit fit them together to help us understand what he wants us to know. 

Certainty isn’t even possible here. Paul admitted his own limited perspective, “We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist” (I Corinthians 13:12). Don’t you love his honesty? Those who claim to see spiritual things with absolute confidence are making it up. Perfect clarity will only come when our redemption is complete at the appearing of Jesus. 

Until then, we peer into realities greater than us all, not trying to figure it all out, but simply to recognize what the Spirit might be showing us each day. Paul used the word ‘enigma’ to describe how we see his kingdom. It’s like a puzzle or a riddle for us to explore as he gives us greater understanding. Watch for the fingerprints and nudges of the Spirit; make note of them, but avoid rushing to your own conclusions. That’s what we often do and then we’ll find ourselves chasing our own wisdom again instead of being more settled in his. 

Discerning the Spirit or the times we’re in is not about “getting a word” from God; it’s about letting the wisdom of the Spirit seep into our consciousness. It will seem like a puzzle with lots of clues until the penny drops and we see what he has for us. It’s extraordinary, how the nudges, glimpses, and conversations help us see into his world. Pieces of insight will come from Scripture, random thoughts he brings to our consciousness, conversations, observations in nature, dreams, song lyrics that jump at us, or movie scenes that move us deeply.  

Resist the urge to read into things on your own, as if everything is a piece of that puzzle. Doing so, you’ll contrive your own insights again. Let the Spirit highlight what is from him. Look less to get specific questions answered as seeing what he is revealing. The first puts our focus on him, the latter puts it on us. What the Spirit reveals may have nothing to do with what we are asking of him. He is simply showing you the way things truly are, so you’ll know how to live. He will give you a different way to think about him or something you’re facing. 

Why does God choose to engage it this way? Couldn’t he just be clearer from the outset? I don’t know that God has chosen to speak to us in riddles, I just think it looks that way from our side. The Creator connecting with his creation is a reality all its own and we wake to it like a small child growing to appreciate the world she is in. Everything comes in bits and pieces as she learns to navigate the world outside the womb. 

When glimpses come, ponder them in your heart and see what other clues or confirmation the Spirit might bring to clarify his work in you. As the Spirit shows you where God is working, he will confirm in multiple ways what he wants you to know. 

Having a community of friends who are on a similar journey and comparing notes is incredibly helpful. Don’t look for people who are spooky or super spiritual with “revelations” about God that put others down, but find down-to-earth, genuine people who are learning to embrace Father’s love and being honest about their uncertainties and mistakes. 

If you find one or two who have more experience than you, all the better. Ask if they’ll help you learn to see better. I’ve been fortunate over my lifetime to have continuing engagements with “older” followers of Jesus who encouraged me in different ways to relax into the flow of the Spirit. They didn’t teach me techniques or try to control me; they just allowed me to watch as they followed, gave me honest feedback about my perceptions, and encouraged my spiritual hunger. 

I realize people get nervous whenever someone encourages others to sense and follow his Spirit. They, like me, know too many people who claim to be following God’s voice when they were pushing their own agenda. Most people who use “God told me to…”, use it to justify their own desires or to end an uncomfortable conversation. Don’t fall for it. Don’t let anyone else tell you what God wants of you unless it confirms how he’s already been leading you. People who know God would never say, “God told me to tell you,” but instead would express, “I had a thought the other day and I’m wondering if it might be helpful to you.” 

Maybe the value of uncertainty in the Spirit’s leading is how easily it exposes those who speak with false confidence. Those who are really learning to listen hold their conclusions more lightly and would never tell someone else to do what they think is best. They actively seek the input of others to help them wrestle with what the Spirit might be saying. Over time, you will become more confident in following the Spirit’s nudges, but far from certain that you have it all right. 

In the meantime, know that he will never lead you in a way that violates God’s nature as the Scripture reveals it. He won’t direct you to lie, betray, cheat, injure, or accuse others of malicious motives. He’ll be teaching you how to live in his love. He will show you the way the world is, God’s order to the universe beneath the games of darkness that broken humans play. You’ll discover the power of gossip and jealousy destroys relationships, the lengths people in pain will go to survive, even if they hurt people they love. You’ll recognize the controlling cadence of political speech and religious services, the empty formulas behind popular entertainment that dulls our hearts to God, and the hype used to manipulate the emotions of a crowd. And you will know these things because you’ll recognize them first in yourself. Doing so will transform you to a wiser and kinder you, easier on others’ mistakes because you’re aware of your own. You’ll find the freedom to apologize for bad choices instead of doubling down on them to justify yourself. 

 

Life in the Spirit

It is said that people are either motivated by their intellect or by their emotions. Knowing which will allow you to manipulate them for your own ends. Jesus had something different in mind; that is, living out of our spirit instead of just our thoughts or feelings. Our spirit lies at the core of our being where his Spirit makes connection with us. 

Paul talked about life in the “Spirit” as the way we walk in the world. In the Greek, there are no capital letters, so translating that phrase with a capital “S” may have changed his meaning. When I was growing up, life in the Spirit meant obeying God’s instructions. In effect, we would become robots following preprogramed instructions from God, which were often Scriptures we had interpreted to our own comfort. 

What if Paul was inviting the followers of Jesus to live out of their spirit instead of their thoughts or emotions? What’s the difference? Instead of living by principles our intellect can understand, or being controlled by our capricious feelings, we would live out of that part of us that connects to God. Getting in touch with our spirit is where we gain the eyes to see and ears to hear. 

That fits the journey I’ve been on for some time. It allows us to participate in transformation so that our intellect and our emotions are informed by God’s reality and his purpose in us. When our spirit comes alive with his, we are partners in the joy of an ever-growing relationship—our person merging with his.

Living by “the spirit” is what flows out of that union. It isn’t following our intuition; it is deriving our motivations from eyes that see a better kingdom. This is where we come to know we are loved, begin to recognize his nudges, and find reserves of strength that go beyond our own. He doesn’t want to tell us what to do, but for us to become one with us, so that we’ll see his character increasingly reflected in our nature.

Having eyes to see and ears to hear will take us on an ever-unfolding adventure of his Spirit adding insight and freedom to our journey as we live by what’s true and what’s loving in the world of chaos. 

 

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You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 10.

Chapter 9: Eyes to See, Ears to Hear  Read More »

May You Bloom and Grow Forever

I never expected to be undone in the middle of a theatrical production of The Sound of Music, but I was. I tell this story in today’s podcast, Unmanipulatable, but I wanted to share it here as well for those who might miss it there. 

Last Saturday, Sara and I went to see this musical because it is one of Sara’s favorite stories, and she adores the music. I went because we’re exploring things that bring Sara joy. Three years into our marriage we bought our first video cassette recorder and the first movie we bought was Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. For the next few weeks, I’d arrive home just as the nun was singing Climb Every Mountain. So, that became a bit of a joke in our home, as I would mockingly belt it out with her. 

But when it came up in the play, it took me back to those first years Sara and I lived alone as a young couple in love. It made me smile as I watched her enjoy the play. But then, later in the play, Captain Von Trapp sang Edelweiss, which I’ve mistakenly seen as one of the schmaltzier tunes in the show. A few lines in, I was overcome with emotion as tears pooled in my eyes. What just happened? It was the line, “May you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever.” My body had recognized it before my mind had registered it. I wasn’t thinking about a small white flower in the Alps but my wife sitting beside me. 

If you have followed our story, you know the last fifteen years have been quite an adventure for her as she wrestled with a deep pain she didn’t understand, and battled with it for her very life, and finally in the last two years discovered in long-forgotten memories a series of horrific events in her childhood that had traumatized her severely. I am so proud of the way she has embraced her story, even the darkest parts, has leaned into Jesus to find healing from the pain, and is learning to renew her mind with new neural pathways based on who she is, not on how trauma defined her. 

As remarkable a story as this is, it has, at times, been an incredibly painful journey for Sara. Last month brought a particularly excruciating memory that hit Sara hard. Dealing with it has been exhausting, and it’s made us wonder how many more may come in years ahead. She was just finding her pace beyond it last week when we went to the play. Watching her enjoy it was particularly meaningful. That’s why my mind was on her when the lyric was sung. Sara will bloom and grow forever. No matter how long this takes her, no matter what dark bridges we have yet to cross, the day will come when the trajectory will shift from working through the pain of the past to embracing his ever-unfolding glory uninterrupted in the present. Yes, that is already happening as we experience the first-fruits of Sara’s growing freedom, but someday, further in this life or perhaps in the next, the pain will all be gone and she can bloom and grow forever in God’s garden. The thought still causes my heart to exult today, and gives me a slightly different view of what eternity might mean for her. 

You also know my wife loves gardens, and they’ve been an important part of our story. Today, we will be shooting a video to share with you her current creation, which surrounds our new home. She says this is her favorite garden. I sat in it last week with a good friend, and as we talked numerous butterflies and birds flitted about the flowers. Finally, he remarked, “This seems like a fairy-tale garden in a Disney cartoon.”  And it does!  That’s a shot of the front of it above, but there is so much more. Thinking of her blooming for eternity is a joy all its own. I know Jesus already sees her as the beautiful flower he made her to be, but she will get to become more aware of it.

And not just her, me too! And not just us, but you, too. No matter what pain and struggle you’re working out in your life, the day will come, perhaps sooner than any of us think, when sorrow will yield to celebration, pain will be absorbed in healing, and death will give way to life. From there, we will all get to bloom and grow forever in the presence of Jesus, where each one of us will get to be all that Jesus created it to be before the fallenness of the world disfigured us. 

That’s redemption! As I watched the end of the play, I Corinthians 15:42-44 (Message), kept creeping into my mind: 

This image of planting a dead seed and raising a live plant is a mere sketch at best, but perhaps it will help in approaching the mystery of the resurrection body—but only if you keep in mind that when we’re raised, we’re raised for good, alive forever! The corpse that’s planted is no beauty, but when it’s raised, it’s glorious. Put in the ground weak, it comes up powerful. The seed sown is natural; the seed grown is supernatural—same seed, same body, but what a difference from when it goes down in physical mortality to when it is raised up in spiritual immortality! 

So, my prayer for you today, is that you will rest confident in knowing that the work of Jesus in you now means that you too will get to bloom and grow forever. Your Father already sees you as a treasured delight in his garden but when the struggle is over you will see it, too, and revel in it and him forever.

Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

 

May You Bloom and Grow Forever Read More »

Chapter 8: Love What Is True

Note: This is the eighth in a series of letters written for those who will be living at the end of the age, whenever that comes. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

 

I wish truth was more obvious. Seemingly reasonable people violently disagree with other seemingly reasonable people. Why can’t we have one source of clear facts on which we can base our decisions? Christians can’t even agree on what the Bible says about God or how we are to follow him. I’m so confused. Who can I trust to tell me the truth?

Caryn, social media influencer and mother of two from Southern California

Caryn, 

What a great question, especially doing what you do. We’ve often talked about how your job makes you choose every day between telling the truth and doing what will make you the most money. I wish more people cared about what’s true.  Most cherry-pick information to justify what they already want. 

“What is truth?” is as relevant a question today as when Pontius Pilate asked Jesus about it. Though he asked the right person, he didn’t wait for an answer. He used it dismissively, so as not to confuse the decision he had to make. 

It’s a question I ask daily, not in a philosophical way, but in wanting to know what’s true about the situations I face, about my own heart and motives, or how God is making himself known to me. His light is the only thing that makes sense out of the chaos of this world and has guided me through its most difficult challenges. 

His light brings life, and yet so many of us resort to lies whenever we think they can help us. Here is the strangest conversation I ever had. A good friend of mine had told me about some developmentally challenged children who were having a fascinating connection to God. Visiting his city a few months later, I asked him more about it because I thought it would encourage parents with similar children. 

He acted as if he had no idea what I was talking about. Surprised, I pressed him but also gave him an out. “If you’re not comfortable talking about this, I’ll understand.” Again, he acted confused, denying the conversation we’d had months before. What was strange about this encounter was that I knew he was lying to me, and by the look on his face I was sure he knew that I knew. Nevertheless, he persisted, gaslighting me enough to make me question my own memory.  

Years later, a mutual friend told me he had pretended ignorance to get me off the scent. It would have been far easier to tell me that. Instead, he chose to double-down on a lie with such conviction that it damaged our friendship. Now, he was uncomfortable around me, and I didn’t know if I could trust anything he said. Sadly, a man I’d known to be sensitive to God started slipping into other areas of darkness as well, taking advantage of others.

You cannot play with a little bit of darkness and not risk getting sucked into its vortex. Many I know risk that today, thinking they can use half-truths and white lies to honorable ends. You can’t. There are two kingdoms vying for control—the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light—and they are mutually exclusive. 

 

Where Darkness Thrives 

 

We were all born into a world of lies and illusions. Everyone thinks they live in truth, but what if  “our truth” isn’t true at all? My whole life I’ve been trading in the lies I’ve believed for the truth Jesus reveals. In the days that portend the end of the age, this confusion between true and false grows even greater, so that even the very elect can be deceived. (Matthew 24:24)

We see it as a matter of course in our day with advertising, accusations of “fake news,” and outright fabrications. Lies are easier to spin than confronting people with difficult truths. Politicians, celebrities, and business leaders use deception as a regular tool to manipulate public support. Every statement allows them to spin the narrative they want to manipulate their target demographic. Even worse, our media has joined them, often stringing together legitimate facts to false conclusions. Here, half-truths are more destructive than outright lies, for it doesn’t take much cyanide in the punch to poison the whole brew.

It’s even worse when close relationships are infected by darkness. A well-placed lie has tremendous power. It can get you out of a tight spot or destroy someone’s reputation. We’ve all done it and been mostly oblivious to its effects, if we benefit from it. But lies destroy, and once you tell a lie to protect yourself, you must tell an increasing number of lies to cover the first one. That will invariably lead you to places you don’t want to go and hurt people you would rather not have hurt. 

The kingdom of darkness thrives inside of lies, secrets, innuendo, and deception, and all of those do great damage, even if you don’t know what you’re saying is untrue. My wife, Sara, lived with a dark secret in her body for over sixty years. Threatened into silence by her abusers, she lost track of what was real and is now only beginning to discover the truth of what happened to her, and who she really is. 

I can’t tell you how much I grew up believing about God that turned out to be untrue. When we decide to follow Jesus, he will draw us out of the tentacles of darkness that have held us captive. That may sound easy, but coming to know the truth about God, ourselves, and the world around us, is the longest, most difficult journey you’ll ever take. Take it anyway, because it leads to beautiful places.

 

Poking Holes in Our Illusions

I suspect half of what I think I know today is wrong, and that may be generous. I don’t know what I’m wrong about, or I would give it up. What’s more, the confirmation bias we all have predisposes us to weigh evidence based on what we already think is true and not even notice evidence to the contrary. How do I know that? Because with each passing season I watch Jesus poke holes in my illusions and invite me into truth. It’s one of my favorite things about him, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. 

Here’s how Eugene Peterson expressed it in his translation of John 5.  “(The world) is against me because I expose the evil behind their pretensions.” That is a mouthful, and it isn’t only true of the world, but also our worldly thoughts. Evil works behind our illusions, lies, and our pretenses to impress others. 

So, when Jesus, or anyone else, pokes holes in our illusions, we get defensive, grab our spiritual duct tape, and try to cover the hole. We like the illusions that comfort us and can even get hostile when they are challenged. As they fail us, either by Jesus’s intervention or when they bump up against the reality of life, it hurts. Illusions die a hard death. 

It’s what you feel when the God who is “supposed to protect you” allows some kind of tragedy into your life. The pain makes you question God, your faith, or whether he even loves you. Yet, that whole perspective is misplaced. He doesn’t “allow” bad things into our lives; they are simply the result of living in a fallen age. 

Without recognizing what’s true, we end up blaming God or ourselves, instead of learning how God works. He protects us by guiding us through the pain in our lives, refining our faith and perceptions of him in the process, and transforming the way we think and live. 

 

The Path to Freedom 

 

To his followers, Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). I used to think he was talking about theological truth. When you know Scripture and believe it, you will be free. 

Of course, knowing the truth about God and Jesus that Scripture teaches can be incredibly helpful, if we’ve interpreted it rightly. But that is easier said than done, since we have so many denominations simply because we can’t agree on what’s true even after 2000 years of studying the Bible. I’m convinced Jesus was talking about so much more than getting doctrine right. He wanted us to know the truth about ourselves and how we’re responding to the world around us. 

Much of his truth brings great joy—that we are deeply loved by God, that his death has relieved us from all shame and fear, and that he will care for us no matter what we face in this world. But what about those lies we’ve come to believe to comfort ourselves? We often decide what’s true based on whether it serves us well, so we pick up a lot of illusions—that following religious traditions makes us more special to God, that “my truth” is more important than his, or that God hates all the same people I do. 

Giving up those things is more difficult and makes us more resistant when he challenges them. Thus, before the truth sets us free, it messes with us first. Since so much of what we believe is based on lies, illusions, and half-truths, our first inclination when truth appears can be to reject it. So many times, I’ve thought, “I hope that isn’t true,” when I start to see something he’s showing me. Get past that and you’ll discover what a treasure his truth is, especially when its challenging. 

Embracing what’s true or doubling down on our illusions is a choice we face every day. Sometimes our friends won’t help us here. Holding to the same illusions we do, they may discourage us from following something different. You won’t be able to convince them otherwise by arguing with them. You can only live in such a way that they either marginalize you because you make them uncomfortable, or they seek you out because of how grounded the truth will make you, especially in adversity.

 

A Love for Truth

 

So, how do we know when you’re believing something that isn’t true?  In short, we won’t until Jesus by his Spirit reveals it to us. He didn’t say he’d give us a book but his Spirit “to guide us into truth (John 16:13), and John added that we all have an anointing that will help us distinguish between truth and error (I John 2:20). 

As we learn to follow the Spirit, he will help us to live in the light. That’s not easy and doesn’t come quickly, but he will show you the truth that you need, whether it is correcting our views of God or showing us how to navigate a difficult relationship.

We’ll never be able to study enough truth to navigate life by our own wisdom. What we can do is cultivate a heart that is ready for truth so that when it comes, we’ll recognize it. Paul told the Thessalonians that a “love of the truth” was our greatest protection from delusion at the end of the age (2 Thessalonians 2:10). That’s not about their salvation or God’s punishment; it’s the admission that the kingdom of darkness destroys; the kingdom of light heals. 

If you don’t love the truth, you will miss it when it comes. If you do, your heart will open to whatever his Spirit wants to show you. Here’s my resolve: “I want to know what’s true, even if I have to admit I’m wrong, even if I’ll need to apologize for my actions, and even if others reject me.”

When Jesus asked the Pharisees where they thought his authority came from, they refused to answer, knowing the crowd would judge them harshly no matter what they said. The reason they couldn’t see the truth is that they were more focused on what people thought of them than what God did (Mark 11). Anything we pursue, other than truth, will send us down trails that hurt us. That includes clicks and likes or wanting validation from people. When feeling good is more important than knowing truth, we will find ourselves wandering in increasing darkness.

My grandson and I watched the Matrix, where the hero must choose between taking a red pill that will open his eyes to the harsh truth or he can take a blue pill and stay in the comfort of an illusion that imprisons him. 

A few brutal scenes later, my grandson asked, “Which pill did Neo take?” 

“The Red pill,” I answered. 

“I want the blue pill!” he exclaimed, pointing to himself. “Blue pill!” 

I hope, in time, that changes for him, but he expressed where most people live. “Give me the comfort of my illusions rather than the challenges truth might bring.” And yet, those are the same people who, when their illusions eventually unravel, will complain that God ignored them, when he has been inviting them into his truth all along.

If you don’t love the truth above comfort, you will lean on those thoughts that keep you in the dark. What I admire so much about Sara in the last few years is her unrelenting passion to discover what was true about her past. It has been excruciatingly painful for her, but with Jesus alongside her it has been a beautiful process of healing. Darkness doesn’t fade away easily, but it will always yield to the light. 

 

Cultivate a Space for Truth to Appear

 

Caryn, if you love what’s true; it will come to you when you need it. These suggestions may help prepare the way. 

Ask him regularly to show you what’s true. My most ardent prayer is, “I want to know you as you really are, I want to see myself as you see me, and I want to see my circumstances through your eyes. Probe every corner of my heart and mind to expose any lie that traps me.” The more you follow truth, the easier it will become to love it. It opens the most amazing doors.

 

Check your heart frequently. In the things that concern you, do you want the truth or do you want the easy road? If you find yourself resisting a conversation because the truth might make you uncomfortable, maybe you have some room to explore here. I’ve had people flat out tell me, “I don’t want to know what’s going on here,” preferring the head-in-sand approach to embracing the light. If you really want to know the truth, you’ll ask questions, listen carefully, and not reject an insight just because it will cost you.

 

Play with uncomfortable thoughts to find out what his Spirit might be showing you. Don’t be afraid to learn something new. I find a growing restlessness in my heart when I am following an illusion. I may not know why, but if I honor the restlessness and ask him to show me, in time I’ll discover why. By the same token, when I am following his insights, I have a growing sense of rest in my heart, even in the middle of conflict. Be more suspicious of “discoveries” that seem to benefit you than those that challenge you.

 

Make it a regular part of your conversation with close friends who inspire you to truth: Ask the question, “What is true here?” Share what you’re contemplating and see what input they might have. Ask them to help you separate what you want to be true from what really might be true. Realize the truth will often be more difficult than our desires but therein lies the path to life.

 

Include people who don’t always agree with you and ask why they think like they do. That doesn’t mean they have it right, but it will give you thoughts to weigh as the Spirit will give you an increasing conviction about what is true.

 

Here are some cautionary guidelines that help me process the input of others: If someone is pushy, they are not helping me, but their own agenda. If someone thinks they know the motives of others, I don’t trust their conclusions, since accusing people of bad motives is the easiest way to elevate ourselves and dismiss others. When someone asks me to “believe” them when I ask questions, I know they don’t understand the nature of truth. And, if someone is angry or defensive, I know they are not confident about their own conclusions. Truth comes with a sense of peace and quiet that doesn’t bleed on others.

 

 Watch the fruit of what you embrace as true. Does it help resolve your response in tight situations without having to be mean or lie? Does it offer you a place in God’s love and safety even if it doesn’t fix everything the way you want? Does it keep you grounded in safety and love?

 

Enjoy the Journey

 

Discovering what’s true is a lifelong adventure. No one can possibly know it all; it is as vast as the ocean. No one would claim to be an expert by simply walking on a beach, exploring a few tidepools, or even scuba diving. All we need to know is the truth that helps us today. Realizing that will help you live humbly. 

I’m not talking here about the big-ticket theological realities we know with certainty—that God created us, that Jesus, as God in the flesh, came to redeem us back to his Father from where we had fallen, and that we can trust him with every detail of our lives. But there are so many other matters where we can think less, “I’m right about this,” and more, “This is the best I see at the moment.”  

Stay curious, open, and flexible as the Spirit continues to draw you more deeply into his reality. Loving the truth and the desire to be right are not the same thing. The desire to be right will lead you down false trails to defend yourself. Better to apologize for an error than prop up a mistake with more of the same.

Don’t think walking in truth means you owe everyone the whole truth, unless you’re in court. You owe them authenticity. When you speak, speak what’s true, as much as you think will help them. And when you don’t want to share something, just say, “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.” 

As a man from Australia wrote me a few months ago, “Christianity has weaponized truth instead of embodying the Truth.”  What a great statement! We’ve gleaned truth from Scriptures and push it on others with condemnation and shame, only to disaffect them from the God who can bring truth into their hearts.  

When you can rest in what’s true, you’ll realize just how precious it is and you’ll respect the process for others to discover it as well, knowing it is as important as the truth itself. Then you won’t have to push people to your conclusions, and you won’t need their agreement to validate you.  

Caryn, in the next letter we’re going to talk more about training our eyes to see what his Spirit is doing around us and ears to hear what he is saying to us. For now, let your love for the truth deepen, and with it, hold lightly the things you already think are true, so he has room to show you what really is. 

Then you’ll be ready for whatever may come. 

 

_________________________

You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 9.

Chapter 8: Love What Is True Read More »

Chapter 7: The Power of Tenderness

Note: This is the seventh in a series of letters written for those who will be living at the end of the age, whenever that comes. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

“Since I got back from Afghanistan, I have noticed a growing anger and aggression among my Christian friends. They seem to want to force God’s kingdom on others, some are even taking weapon training to prepare for what’s next. I want to see the kingdom come, but something inside me is unsettled by this. Where is Jesus here?  

Aaron, 38, VA mental health counselor near Dallas, TX

Hi Aaron, 

In my last letter, I wrote about the joy in learning to follow the Lamb wherever he goes. It’s not lost on me that the book most centered on the end of the age uses the image of a lamb almost exclusively to describe Jesus’s final redemption of the earth.  

Only in the first chapter of Revelation does Jesus appear as the Lion of Judah. In every reference thereafter, he is portrayed as one like “a Lamb who had been slain.” He is the one worthy of worship and to unseal the scroll of the last days. The Lamb overcomes darkness and introduces a future free of it. In the end, all of that is celebrated at the marriage feast of the Lamb 

And yet, “Lions not Lambs” is a popular meme for many Christians today on bumper stickers, t-shirts, and social media. I get it. Sick and tired of losing to a secular agenda and belittled by a left-leaning press, many conservative Christians want to assert whatever power they can muster to bend culture back to their preferences. Thus, they seek political power, often by less-than-honest means, or adopt a Seven Mountain Mandate to dominate the culture with their beliefs. 

There is no end of so-called prophets or apostles tapping into that frustration. Their anger and their war metaphors run counter to the nature of Jesus. They have yet to realize that when you seek to dominate the world, you will become like the world, and in doing so, unwittingly leave the true power of the Gospel behind. When you chart your course by anger, it is impossible to stay inside his love and recognize how God works far better through our kindness than our belligerence.  

It is a message long lost in the realms of Christianity where many see themselves as another interest group vying for control of the culture. Though their desire to spread the life of Jesus may be genuine, they have taken up the wrong tools. They assume the conquering hero at the end of the age will look more like a roaring lion than a wounded lamb, but Jesus’s kingdom doesn’t work that way. The nature of the Lamb will prevail, winning by love what coercion can never repair. 

There is no better image to keep in mind to warn us away from putting our hope in human effort. Compelling others to do what we think they should do, even in the name of God, will make us despots in the end. Few human leaders have held on to their honor or their kindness to others in the wake of rising human power—political, military, or religious.[PD1]  Amassing power will invariably drive us to compromise our character and make horrific alliances with ungodly elements in our society that will render the Gospel impotent. We can attain our agenda at the same time we subvert his kingdom.

 

True Power

Aaron, to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, we will need to see power in a different way. True power is found in loving, even to the giving up of our lives for the welfare of others. It looks weak, of course, when arrogance and bullying seem to win so easily over kindness and compassion. But the meek will inherit the earth, and until we choose to lay our lives down instead of forcing our agendas, we will never discover the greater power that has the capacity to transform this world.

It’s easy to see why we do it. When someone takes advantage of us, it’s only natural to want to fight back. Fighting for a righteous cause may seem like our duty on the surface, but your restlessness is the Spirit warning you away from such tactics. Jesus’s words to Pilate explain why: “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest. My kingdom is from another place.”

Take a beat and sit with those words. It’s one of the most profound things he said. 

Like us, his own followers missed the point. James and John wanted fire from heaven to consume a group of Samaritans, and Peter cut off an ear of the high priest’s servant. Acting out of our human aggressions will make it harder to recognize how Jesus leads us. Our fears will seek a Lion-Redeemer to right the wrongs done to us, and we’ll find ourselves more distant from Jesus. Only a growing trust in him will put us in touch with the Lamb-Redeemer and the power of humility, kindness, and compassion. None of the fruits of the Spirit encourage us to get even with those who mistreat us or take control of others for God’s sake. Instead, the fruit of his love in us leads to peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness. 

That does not mean that nations don’t have the authority to make laws and police them nor that a military cannot restrain the power of evil growing in the world. God has sanctioned such things, even if they often lead to injustice and corruption. The levers of power, however, will never bring redemption to humanity. 

Yielding to the urge to dominate only makes sense to those who have lost sight of the power of his love. When you learn to serve the world as Jesus did (Mark 10:42), instead of dominating it, then you’ll find the true power of redemption. Only he can teach you how to embrace tender-heartedness in the face of your fears, but here are some of the things that help me: 

 

1.     Separate yourself from angry voices. 

That’s not easy in our day because there is so much outrage just under the surface of so many in these ever-darkening days. 

The media have discovered that tapping our anger or fear will hold our gaze. Denigrating our perceived enemies helps garner votes and raise funds. It’s also true in our pulpits and those who claim prophetic gifts—whether they are railing against the ways of the world or the failure of Christians to live up to God’s standards. Even when sharing good news, their countenance is twisted with anger and their voice is pitched with rage.

While anger can provoke people to action, it does not endear them to Jesus or his purpose in the world. Righteous indignation is a great way to justify turning our fears into hatred. The voice of Jesus comes with tenderness and invitation, even when he clears out the temple or confronts religious leaders for their hypocrisy.  

So, if you have fallen for the voice of the angry prophets and preachers, even if they promise revival, walk away! If they grasp for political power and the rule of law, they are building an earthly kingdom, not Jesus’s. If they justify lies and anger to restore Christianity’s power, they have missed God’s heart. God’s kingdom does not impose morality on a hostile people but invites the broken and traumatized into the wonder of his love. 

God would say similar words to them that he spoke to the false prophets and teachers of Jeremiah’s day: “I did not send you; you’re not speaking my words and you are causing great hurt and destruction by deceiving my people. Stop it.” But they won’t; building personal networks and raking in money is too intoxicating. So, it’s up to you to separate yourself from angry voices. 

One of the best decisions I made was to turn off those voices that didn’t speak with the tenderness of his love. I unsubscribed from a Christian magazine whose worship of celebrity constantly frustrated me. I spend less time with people who simmer in anger and those who mock and scoff. You don’t need to confront them; just take your distance and marinate yourself in the love of a Father who agonizes over the lost. 

Pride and arrogance are easier to recognize when you don’t take in a steady diet of them. Never trust the words of an angry person, no matter what “truth” they may be expounding. Whatever they have learned, they did so without engaging Truth himself and thus their heart is not refined in love. There is no anger in God’s redemption for the lost and broken.

 

2.     Think reconciliation, not payback. 

I grew up thinking God only loved the home team, those who follow his commands, and was vengeful to the away team who did not. I worked hard to ensure I stayed on the home team, and this dualistic thinking allowed me to take up the language of vengeance with any who didn’t serve God the way I did. 

The Old Testament set me up for that, but I began to discover how incomplete it was without Jesus showing us a very different picture of God. The conclusion that he is a vengeful deity toward those who fail him is a misunderstanding of his nature, which is why he shocked the Pharisees. “Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” Why would we do that? Because that’s what his Father does: “He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:35-36)

I never heard that in Sunday School. And yet, in the middle of his torturous death, Jesus asked for the forgiveness of his enemies, not their punishment. He took their vengeance into himself and paid them back with grace and forgiveness. In doing so, he showed us how to embrace his Father’s love in a way that brings his kingdom into our world.

So, when someone angers you, take a breath. Ask yourself how you might respond graciously. Don’t ask how you can get even; find a way to be kind. We are ambassadors of reconciliation, not purveyors of vengeance. You can even practice turning from anger when other drivers provoke your rage. Instead of ranting at them, even internally, discover what it means to drive graciously, then do in everything.

That’s the way God has treated me. He seeks reconciliation, not retribution. He has never bullied me into obedience. He’s not overbearing or manipulative and is even kind to me in my mistakes and failures. His goodness opens the door to knowing him, and yet he always leaves the choice in our hands. That’s how love works, even when others abuse it. 

Father Gregory Boyle of Homeboy Industries thinks of it this way: “Kindness is the only non-delusional response to everything, which is to say all other responses—rage, anger, self-righteousness, high horsiness—everything else is delusional. Kindness isn’t.”

It takes more wisdom and grace to live inside love than it takes to give in to your fear, anger, or desire for vengeance, and fight the world on its terms. Nothing disturbs our fleshly inclinations or our religious prerogatives more than choosing a path of tenderness in the face of hostility.

 

3.     Entrust outcomes to God

From our youth we’ve learned how to use every resource at our disposal to manipulate others to the outcome we want. It doesn’t always work, but not for lack of trying. However, we are not responsible for the outcome of anything, only our response to him. 

The One who loves you most and wants the best for you has relinquished the power to make you follow him. Redemption can only happen where people embrace it freely and discover a love so compelling that they want to be a part of it. That’s why we can’t live this way without leaving the outcome to God. It takes more strength and wisdom to give up power in our relationships than it does to manipulate them. 

I would not be married today if Jesus hadn’t taught me that lesson over the last twenty years. When I came home from a trip a few years ago, and discovered Sara had left me, cut off all communication, and was initiating a divorce, I couldn’t have been more shocked. I had no clue this was coming, especially since I knew of no conflict between us. From those actions and the note she left me, I knew she was in trouble. I’m not a perfect husband, but I knew I wasn’t the person in her letter. 

Without ever talking to me, her therapist had assumed her rising PTSD was caused by an abusive husband, and coached Sara into leaving me to escape the horrible pain that raged in her body. From the start, the counsel I received was not to rush after her and confront her. “Keep your heart open; let her come back to you in her time” was the most difficult counsel I’ve ever followed, but I’m glad I did. 

When I had contact with Sara, I assured her that I loved her and would be willing to work through anything, but I forced nothing. The first time I saw her three weeks after she left, she only wanted to discuss how we would handle the grandchildren post-divorce, and that’s all we talked about. I left a hundred questions unasked and a ton of comments unspoken. I let her have the conversation she wanted, and when we parted, she asked if I wanted to spend more time together. I was both shocked and thrilled. 

The next day, she came over and stayed for six hours. Again, I let her shape the conversation. She said later that my tenderness caused her to reconsider everything her therapist had convinced her to be true about me. In a few weeks, we were finding our way back and, with a new therapist, discovered that Sara’s PTSD had been caused by childhood trauma that had lain hidden in her memories for over sixty years.  

Our love eventually triumphed over her trauma. Didn’t Jesus do the same when he brought us his kingdom? He didn’t force himself on broken humanity, but gently demonstrated the love of his Father, letting each decide whether they would embrace him or not. Even though it eventually cost him his life as the powers that be rejected his message and his kingdom, he knew the only hope of reconciliation could come from the free choice of loved people. 

 

4.     Learn the Path of Least Control 

My first experience with this came over 30 years ago when my co-pastor and a small group of elders lied about a resignation I had not offered. My first inclination was to come back and fix the lie. I had the power and affection to right the wrong. However, I also had this nagging thought that I later identified as Jesus’s leading: “I have more to teach you if you walk away than if you stay.” I had no idea what that meant and eventually conceded to it partly because I didn’t have the will to do to them what they had done to me, even if I was in the right.  

Unfortunately, that didn’t bring reconciliation with them. But whatever they stole from me, and it was significant, Jesus repaid many times over and made me more resilient in tragedy by teaching me a different way to live inside his love. It’s the only way to overturn darkness in the world; vengeance can only meet pain with more pain. 

If you hear these words calling you to be a doormat for the abuse of others or a whipping post for their rage, you’re not ready for them. Giving up control doesn’t diminish our authenticity nor prevent us from establishing boundaries where others seek to harm us. Jesus didn’t let the Pharisees co-opt him, nor did he react to their threats. 

That would be easy for Jesus, right? He knew God had his back, regardless of what others hurled at him, and it would all give way to a greater redemption. And it will be easier for you when you discover that God has your back and hasn’t left you to your own devices. Until you have enough security inside God’s love, you won’t be able to stop trying to take control. This is a steep learning curve to realize control is an illusion and Jesus’s ability to care for you can lead you through the injustice or accusations of others. 

Giving up control to others does not mean giving into their control. “Religious” people often have an agenda and will use any means necessary to force it on others. In doing so, they operate in the wrong spirit and do more harm than good. When you discover that people are lying to you or about you, or trying to control you with guilt or shame, walk away!

Learn to say, “I am not treating you this way, and I hope you’ll stop doing it to me.” Even though Jesus didn’t seek to control others, you would never have called him a push over. He submitted to their abuse only when his Father asked him to, and when he had the internal strength to endure it for a greater purpose. Even on the cross, he wasn’t powerless.  By loving in the face of their dishonesty, forgiving their abuse, and allowing their evil to crush him, he opened wide the doors of redemption.

Aaron, you can’t lay down your life if you don’t have the freedom not to. Giving up control is not weakness. You can be firm in kindness and say no to whatever is not in your heart to do. Being firm in what’s true and kind in the face of rejection is the greatest nightmare for those who seek to control you. It may make them even angrier, but it will set you free to honor the work of Jesus in you.  

 

God’s power at the end of the age is not boast and bluster, threats and anger; it is the gentleness of a Lamb. It is in the power of love and lives laid down that God makes himself known in our world, which is why Jesus told us to be “as wise as serpents, but as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Let’s join him. 

Centuries of Old Testament stories conditioned us to expect a God that comes to exact vengeance. That’s what Israel’s leaders hoped for its enemies, and they missed his first coming. We are in a similar danger if we look for God’s vengeance instead of his redemption for the world he deeply loves. 

 

_________________________

You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 8.

Chapter 7: The Power of Tenderness Read More »

Oh, The Places You’ll Go…

It’s weird setting out on a trip, unsure of where you’ll go, how long you’ll stay, and when you’ll return. This is our third such excursion across the U.S. Each day begins with an early morning walk with our dogs. I take one early for about two miles, and Sara joins me for the next three. Some of that got interrupted when our big dog tore her ACL, but she’s back at it for the second part of the walk now.

This is my favorite time of day: getting up for sunrise (and sometimes well before it) and watching the earth come alive, first as the sky brightens with rich colors and then as the light spreads across the landscape.

I welcome Jesus into my day, reflecting on the day past and the new one coming. My best thoughts often come when I’m relaxing with him and holding some question or concern in his presence. A lot of what fills my blogs, podcasts, and chapters of my new book come from these early morning walks. I also daydream a bit and listen to podcasts about Jesus, news, culture, or even golf.

Here are some of the scenes we enjoyed on this trip:

West Texas

Perdido Bay

York, SC

Roanoke, VA

Charlottesville, VA

Richmond, VA

Sykesville, MD

York, PA

Lexington, KY

Louisville, KY

Downtown Independence, MO

Denver, CO (Washington, Park)

Green River, UT

 

Not all our morning walks are this lovely; we often walk around our RV park to get our miles in. Tomorrow, we will arrive home and walk again under Mt Boney, which presides over our Newbury Park, CA neighborhood.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, The Places You’ll Go… Read More »

The Last Leg of a Beautiful Trip

As Sara and I turn toward home, our hearts are filled with joy from this time together, and the countless conversations we’ve had with people from all over the U.S. We even had people fly in or drive great distances to be with us for some of our gatherings. There were also many spontaneous opportunities to connect with people that I hope were as enriching to them as they were for us.

For those keeping track of our dog Zoey, she is in the seventh week of her recovery from ACL surgery in Florida. She continues to progress wonderfully and now walks two miles daily with us. The only challenge has been keeping our puppy away as she aches to play with her best friend.  We are grateful for how all of this turned out.

We are in the Denver area this week to spend time with our son and make some personal connections with those who want to meet with us. We have traveled almost 6,000 miles in the RV since we left our home in California on April 1. We will be headed back home on Monday and are ready to see what next chapter God will write with Sara and me. Thanks for all of your love, prayers, encouragement, and support.

One of my favorite conversations was with fifty or so people in a state-run rehab facility in Maryland who were transitioning back into society from serving prison terms. All had read or watched THE SHACK, and some had read HE LOVES ME. They were ready to talk the moment I sat down. I was impressed with the incredible hunger in the room and the thoughts they invited me to wrestle through with them.

Many shared how they had a jaded view of God based on things that had happened to them and on things they’d heard about God from other Christians. But THE SHACK’S portrayal of God had them considering new possibilities. The questions were passionate and kind, and I left there deeply touched by the opportunity to be with them. Many wanted to know a God who would love them in their failures and make a home in them so they could find their life in him. I pray that God is revealing himself and his love to them.

Also, during this trip, we raised over $70,000 from people on my blogs and podcast to help people in Kenya regain their water supply after devastating floods had wiped it out. We restored the wells in time to save the corn crop that was already growing. For those who gave to help them, I hope you hear their gratefulness resound in your heart. You saved some lives that no one else in Kenya seems to be able to help these tribes in North Pokot.  Thank you so much.

One of our team in Kenya sent this note and the following video:

Hi brother Wayne, our team arrived here Wednesday last week and we have been working tirelessly day and night to make sure the community has received all the items. People here in Kenya volunteered two trucks to carry the donations. We have served over 600 households with food and supplies. This is the great work and it has given us the new experience again to interact, to share the word and to impress there life.

The irrigation program has been restored and protected for future emergency.  The maize plantations were withering and we thank all the supporters for making the irrigation system running. We are grateful for their  great support and ask God to bless them abundantly.

If you cannot see video in your email, you can view it on the blog.

The Last Leg of a Beautiful Trip Read More »

Holding on to Love

Sara and I are making a big turn up the east coast this week and begin our journey westward on Monday, with stops in Lexington and Louisville this weekend. From there, it looks like we’re going to go through St. Louis and Kansas City to visit our son in Denver.  If you’re along that way and want to connect with us, please get in touch.

For those concerned about our dog Zoey, she had her four-week, post surgery check-up for her ACL, and it is healing well.  We still have not gotten biopsy results back. Crazy!

Here are two videos you might enjoy:

Here are some thoughts from a conversation last night, many of you might find helpful:

“Lose track of his love and you’ll get lost in the darkness; hold on to his love and he will light you a path through it. ”

And, water returns to the tribes in North Pokot:

Thanks to all who have helped us with the need in Kenya. We’re getting close to the total that will help meet their needs for water and relief in this time of crisis. You can read my blog about the current need.

And it is not too late if you still want to help us. We still need about $10,000, if you have some extra. Again, every dime you give goes straight to Kenya; we take nothing out for administrative or financial fees.

God has been so good to us on this journey, with so many conversations and journeys to share, whether it’s people coming to a meeting or a chance encounter getting a haircut, we’re having a lot of fun coming alongside others and helping them see how Jesus might be leading them, What a delight to wander across the U.S. and see what doors Father opens, and what cinnamon rolls we can find!

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A Day of Rich Celebration

We woke up today in Richmond, VA after a beautiful two days in Charlottesville, VA, with long-time friends, the kind of people you just enjoy hanging out with.

We also woke up today celebrating forty-nine years as a married couple, and we will be having lunch today with the man who officiated at that ceremony. He has remained a close friend ever since and we’re excited to get some time with him and his wife today.

Yes, it’s hard to believe we have had this long together, and to think it almost ended in tragedy two years ago. We are grateful for every year we’ve had together, knowing just how much of that is a gift of God, not an achievement of ours.

People have been incredibly supportive through our trauma story, have celebrated with us our coming back together, and have cheered us on as we build a totally new life together. Every time I look at Sara I am giddy with delight that this turned out the way it did and in awe of her courage to take on the darkness and find Jesus inside of it. We had a less than one percent chance of surviving the trauma in our marriage and somehow Jesus navigated us into that space.

Everyone’s story is different and the way Jesus wants to work in us is unique to our story and our person. If your takeaway from our story of the last two years is what awesome people Wayne and Sara are, then you have missed the point. We simply followed him as best we could. The plot line of our story is not how good we are but how great God is that he could redeem us from so great a tragedy and lead us through it to a renewed relationship of deep love and affection.

Truly, he saved us!  And he wants to do the same for everyone reading this. The outcomes may be different, but the grace he has to lead us through the storm and into the safety of his heart is available to everyone.

On an unrelated note, we have received about $60,000 thus far for the $79,000 need our friends are facing in Kenya. They are about to lose everything—their water, crops, and life itself. You can read my blog about the current need. I am so grateful for the way so many of you have responded and so quickly to this need. Your generosity overwhelms us with joy and gratitude on this day as well.

And it is not too late if you still want to help us.

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Sara’s Story of Hope and Healing

Sara and I are in Charlotte, NC. The first day we got here, Vince Coakley asked me to be on his radio show. He hosts a Transformation Tuesday segment, and wanted us to share our story. Unfortunately, Sara had a conflicting appointment, so I went to the studio alone. We had a great conversation. (It begins at 31:40.)

That evening, Sara and I had been asked to share with The Barn Brothers, a group that normally meets in a barn south of Charlotte. The barn is currently being refurbished, however, so they met in a furniture store. (see picture above). I’ve shared in a lot of different venues, but this was a first for me.

Normally, it’s a men’s meeting but for this night they opened it up so anyone could come. They wanted us to share our story there, too.  Sara and I talked about The Deepest Love in the Darkest Place, the title of a new book we are working on. We hope our story encourages people to embrace God in their pain, not try to run from it or get it fixed first.  In the utter darkness of our experience two years ago, Sara and I discovered a deep place in Father’s love that held us through the storm and launched us on a trajectory of healing. Sara was amazing! It was the best I’ve ever heard her share, so clear, so deliberate, so full of hope for others. I admire her so much for the way she tells her story and how much she cares for the people she’s talking to. And people hung on her every word. Tears flowed, stories found their way to the surface of deep trauma and people were grateful for Sara telling this story.

If it wasn’t for Sara’s insistence, we wouldn’t be sharing any of this. I would have hidden this all away in my heart, except that she wanted to give hope to others in the same way others had encouraged her. Yes, it was recorded, and you can watch and listen here. This story goes way beyond Sara and me; it is also about God’s redemption in the world and how his heart breaks for us when we feel lost in the darkness. He’s not there to judge our faults, but to hold our hearts and point the way forward.

After telling our story last night, we focused on three encouragements for those who came:

  1. Risk the darkness. When something dark emerges in your life, whether it be trauma, a false belief being uncovered, or an entangling sin, don’t run from it or push it aside. Invite God into the darkness. You will find him a comforting presence and a guide to move forward.
  2. When darkness pushes you into fear, anxiety, or despair, ask Jesus how to move you back to a comforted place in his care. You cannot make positive changes outside the window of tolerance when you feel panicky or terrified. Instead, lean into his heart where you can be comforted first and then see what he wants to do from there.
  3. Be a soothing, safe presence for others who find themselves struggling with darkness. They don’t need our shame or condemnation; they have that in mega-doses. What they need is a caring heart and a listening ear.

Here are some texts sent to us this morning:

  • “What an amazing evening last night! Your redemption story is by far the most remarkable one I have ever seen.”
  • I believe lives were changed and encouraged. Sooo much courage from you both. What an example of true love, how to love someone unconditionally. My heart was challenged in a good way.”
  • “This is the most significant and impactful message of the Team Jacobsen mission, built on the foundation of the messages from prior decades.”
  • “Last night was deep, powerful and I think, like Sara’s amazing grace chains breaking, a lot of other chains broke last night too. Let’s keep taking ground…”

I love how Jesus walked us through the trauma and the darkness that surrounded it, rescued our relationship, and now we are able to encourage others when trauma comes knocking in their lives. I have learned more about God and how he works with broken humanity in the last two years than my previous sixty plus.

We finished last night with Isaiah 61, the declaration of the New Covenant—God’s desire to have us understand better how Jesus heals the broken-hearted, sets the oppressed free, opens blind eyes to his truth, and proclaims the year of God’s favor. No wonder that was the first text Jesus preached, according to Luke 4.

To Jesus and his Father, our salvation wasn’t primarily about the after-life, but about being saved today from all the places darkness seeks to own us. That’s the Gospel.

And for those concerned about Zoey, she is now two weeks out from her surgery. We took her to the vet today to have her stitches removed from her two surgeries, and all looks well. She is thrilled to have the cone-head off and to be able to begin to walk a little bit outside. She’s been such a good sport, but we’re excited to get her out of her caged quarters and join the family again. Mandy, the seven-month-old pup, was able to sleep next to her again, which delights her little heart.

So, all is well. We’re having some wonderful personal connections here as well. We have a few more days here in Charlotte before heading north to Roanoke, Charlottesville, Richmond, Baltimore, and Lancaster County, PA.  The journey continues…

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Chapter 5: The Tender Call

Note: This is the fifth in a series of letters written for the Bride of Christ who are alive at the end of the age. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can start with Chapter 1 here. If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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I’m not sure I know what you mean by the bride. Are you referring to Israel, as some suggest, or to the church, and if so which church? I want to be part of her, whoever and wherever she is, but I’ll admit that my spiritual hunger has been almost nonexistent lately.  How can I make sure I’m included?

— Miguel, 34-year-old pharmaceutical representative in Alabama

Miguel,

I love your questions and I love that your heart yearns to be part of what God is doing to make her ready. 

Jesus is calling her, a drawing across time and space to every human heart, awakening whatever passion there might be for Jesus and his presence with them. You sense it first in the heart even if you can’t recognize the source or know what exactly you’re feeling. Soon, new passions become more important to you than the dead ones that have preoccupied your attention without leading you to life. The bride is stirring, even out of great darkness and disillusionment—and she is everywhere! 

Don’t worry about being left out, Miguel, it is not in God’s nature to do so for anyone who desires him. I taste that passion in your note to me. 

So, who is this bride? There are differences of opinion on that question. In the Old Testament, Israel is often referred to as God’s bride, rescued out of great anguish and darkness and then invited into his light and joy. Restoring her to health and beauty, God takes her as his wife, the delight of his heart. 

The metaphor of romance and marriage are often used to express not only the depth and closeness of the relationship God wanted with Israel, but also the festive joy and celebration that such a union would evoke. Sadly, as powerful and inviting as that might sound, Israel was never able to sustain that relationship for any significant length of time. Thus, she repeatedly fell back into the slavery of her own fears and appetites and became the adulteress woman, and God the forsaken husband. 

The lure of promiscuous sex and the promised security of the false gods of the civilizations that surrounded them, tripped them up again and again. Instead of enjoying God they found these images overlapping as twisted expressions of sex were incorporated into their idol worship. She proved faithless to the one who was completely faithful to her, even though he always invited her to return to him where all would be forgiven. 

In the New Testament two things shift inside this metaphor. First, the bride now includes the followers of Jesus in his Church where distinctions between Jew and Greek, and male and female no longer have meaning. Secondly, Jesus is specifically identified as the bridegroom, and all human history culminates in a marriage celebration between Jesus and his bride as all things are made new. 

I see the bride as all of God’s people across time who embrace him as the lover of their souls and follow him with delight and joy. And notice that there’s only one bride, not many. In this metaphor, we are not brides individually; we are the bride collectively. It’s not just individual redemption he is after, but as the Spirit transforms us, he is also knitting together the hearts and minds of diverse people from every group on the planet. They will come to act as one, not because they are loyal to the same leadership structure but because they manifest his glory in the world and to the  powers beyond it. (Ephesians 3:10-11)

One of the joys of responding to his call is to recognize that same Spirit in others whose paths you cross. You’ll find an instant camaraderie with them, not because you believe all the same things, but because you recognize the nature of Jesus in them. They are easy people to be around, with an infectious spirit—graciously authentic, even in weakness, and tender with love and kindness.  

So, where is that bride? She is scattered to the four corners of the earth. When I pray for his bride, I do not imagine a specific person or group of people. I don’t think of her as the religious institutions we call churches either, but as something far less defined by human convention. She is a living, breathing, entity that is being shaped even as you read this. 

I’m not sure who comprises this bride, but Paul told us that the foundation of God’s work in the earth is that “The Lord knows those who are his.” (2 Timothy 2:19) I don’t even begin to try to figure out who they are. If he knows, I don’t have to and all our human attempts to define those who are in with God and those who are out are woefully misguided and horribly inaccurate. I find his people in all sorts of places. 

Of course, I see her most easily among those who have allowed the Father’s love to shape their lives over multiple decades and through painful circumstances. In every generation, you will find people who have discovered such a depth of love inside of God that they have learned to follow him, often in conflict with their own self-interest, and it will often cost them dearly—reputation, position, money, friends, and family.  

The bride does not flourish in environments of manipulation and conformity and thus, she will follow him outside of the conventional paths others demand. Thus, they are often rejected and lied about by those who find their unwavering loyalty to Jesus threatening to their attempts to control them. Though they are viewed with suspicion, their pain only invites them deeper into the love that heals all wounds. 

Instead of becoming defensive or bitter, they are marked by tenderness and humility and a deep wisdom that easily admits that they haven’t figured everything out. They will point the way to him without taking his place by telling people what they should do. Since they find their joy in him, they are unconcerned about legacies or building a following, and are mostly unknown, often tucked away in hidden places where their strength and wisdom can be an encouragement to others in the last days.  

If you want to be part of his bride, you are on a similar trajectory even if you don’t know it yet, or it has barely begun. The call to the bride is a tender, repeated invitation to draw near to the One who loves you and offers you his light and courage. No matter how many fits and starts you’ve had in that journey, his heart is always open to you. 

To the uninformed, it may be a fascination with the transcendent. They have sensed his presence though they don’t know its source or may have misidentified it. Their heart is touched in ways they can’t explain but they taste his love and insights that will draw them, if they don’t get sidetracked by the wiles of darkness. 

To those who have been crushed by the powers of darkness through extreme suffering or pain, it is often a deep but certain drawing into the warmth of his light and the safety of his love. My heart goes out to those of you who have been traumatized by abuse or abandonment or suffered through great loss or sickness that may have sapped your will to live. 

The damage done to your soul may make it difficult to see him and thus, you may feel abandoned by Jesus. But he is right there with you; he always has been. You are his beloved even if everything in you argues to the contrary. Your pain is not his doing, and he has a path for healing and restoration that will overcome the darkness set on destroying you. When you find him in the midst of your pain, you’ll not only find your pathway to freedom, you’ll also be a gift to others who’ve endured similar pain. 

For the religiously disillusioned, his call is an invitation back to first love—not how much you loved God but how free you felt inside his love at the beginning. Do you remember those early days before religious performance spoiled it? That’s not a blanket condemnation of those engaged in religious expressions, it’s simply a recognition that the routines of such systems often distract from him. If you find a meaningful engagement with Jesus in the rituals of your congregation, be grateful; many others have not. They continue the course in drudgery, hoping there is some salvation in the effort. Don’t blame Jesus or yourself for its failures, return to his love. Jesus is wanting to hold you again in his arms, caress you with his tenderness, and to show you that conformity to religious principles is not the path to the intimacy you seek.  

To the religiously abused, whose hunger for Jesus was hijacked and exploited by insecure leader-types who saw your beauty and your gifts and wanted to use you to build their own kingdom, it’s a drawing of your spiritual eyes back to him. Even though your abusers claimed to do it in his name, they were not acting on his behalf. You became a cog in their vision, rather than a disciple ready to recognize and follow the voice of the Shepherd. You were so hungry for him, but it all came to such disappointment. 

You were born in freedom but raised in captivity under the lie that God wanted to use your works. No wonder things felt dead and lifeless. You came to believe things about him that were not worthy of him. He agonized over every lie you were told and now wants to rekindle your hunger and sate it with his genuine presence. He wants to love you into a way of living that will lead to his increasing glory finding a home in you. He is ready to fulfill those longings that ignited your heart as he teaches you how to walk in his love and listen to his voice. 

To the wayward bride who lost track of the Jesus you once pursued when your passion was overrun by the worries of this life or the pursuit of wealth, his call is a drawing back to simpler times. You got so busy with work, responsibilities, and family activities, that he would have shared with you had you not forgotten him. The pleasure of the world’s amusements and the illusion of freedom quickly faded and now you keep busy to mask a growing sense of emptiness. Did I miss something back there? 

Yes, you did, but though you may have lost sight of him, he has not lost sight of you. He has never done anything to harm or hurt you and is that voice in the back of your head inviting you to turn back to him. He knows that you will never be satisfied with anything less than a gracious relationship with the God who made you. He waits eagerly for your desire to pick up the friendship again. 

Who can be part of this amazing bride? Anybody who wants to. Jesus is not exclusive or looking for a special kind of person. We are all special to him, all you have to do is hear respond to his tender call.  

Take a pause now and then and listen for him. You will find Jesus in the quiet moments; busyness and feeling of guilt will be your greatest enemies. You will not hear his call in the angry, shaming, try-harder voices of false preachers or prophets. His call is not harsh or condemning; it is a soft and tender entreaty to come home. He makes no threats or ultimatums. He is not angry or disappointed in you. He knows how easily we all get distracted and that the only path home is a soft and secure invitation into the safest place in the universe—his kind and caring heart for you.

Even in the depths of Israel’s rejection of him, he reminded Isaiah how to speak to his people: 

Comfort, comfort
my people, says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem . . . (Isaiah 40:1-2)

Let me suggest some of what it might sound like today: 

My beloved Bride, there is none like you. You are my delight, and I long for the day we can reconnect and you can know my heart as well as I know yours. Nothing you have done is a bridge too far; we can find our way back from this. It doesn’t matter to me how you got lost, or what mistakes you made, I don’t need your shame and I don’t want your guilt; I only want you. 

When you’re ready to come home, I’ll be waiting right here. Don’t try to fix yourself up first; I will restore your beauty and your innocence. Let our love for each other write a new chapter on your heart—one filled with love and kindness. I don’t want to use you or control you; I simply want to share all my goodness and glory with you and show you how to live in the fullness of my joy. 

His voice will be the one that comforts you in your fears, forgives your mistakes, and sets you at rest in the deepest chambers of your heart. Learn to listen to that tender voice and home in on it, like a plane following the landing lights to the runway. 

Even amid worries, regrets, and fears, lean toward his kindness. You will not long follow what you fear, and fear will never draw you to his love. 

Come away, my beloved.

Do you hear him? Like the lover to his beloved in Song of Songs?

As we’ll see in chapters ahead, that invitation both draws you away from those things that spoil his love and blind your eyes to his reality and it will draw you to a way of living that lets his love write the next chapter of your life. 

No longer victims of darkness; we can spend the rest of our days dancing with him in the fields of his delight.   

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You can access previous chapters here. or Continue to Chapter 6.

 

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