Note: This is the sixteenth in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. We have already released the first part of this book in print. Or you can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to ensure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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I love what you started with Francesca. I, too, am tired of trying to change myself and want to see God take shape in me. Is that what Paul meant when he wrote about the renewing of our mind? 

— Gilbert, a 22-year-old seminary student in Chicago, IL

Hi Gilbert, 

Exactly. The renewing of the mind is the process by which he takes shape in us. Popular culture today would probably refer to that as the rewiring of our brain, which is a much more powerful image. 

We know now that people who were abused as children suffered trauma that wired their brains to react to circumstances differently than those who have not had trauma. That’s why trying to get them to act differently is fruitless. They live under the constant perception of threat and react by fighting, flight, or fawning. 

Without minimizing people who have suffered horrible trauma by abuse or war, I wonder if God views our sins and failures like I have come to view Sara’s childhood trauma. There’s no blame, only compassion to help her find freedom. 

We were all born with a self-preferring nature in a hostile world. Without Jesus, we were helpless against the power of sin, even when we tried to do better. Furthermore, sin caused us to feel abandoned by the God who made us. Those are classic characteristics of trauma—a lack of agency to protect ourselves and a feeling of abandonment by the one who is supposed to care for us.

So, yes, Jesus wants to rewire our brains so we no longer react to the lies of darkness and self-indulgence. That’s why Jesus didn’t live trying to follow the rules. Instead, he lived with a mind shaped by his Father’s affection. That allowed him to grasp the truth about himself and his world. 

Because he thought differently, he saw people and circumstances as they really were. That’s why he was tuned into their needs and could treat them with compassion, tenderness, and humility. You can’t substitute law, rules, or guidelines for that. It’s a glorious process that goes far deeper than a mere behavioral change. We cannot do it for ourselves; he has to do it in us.

As Jesus settles us in Father’s love, we will be able to recognize the truth of what’s going on around us. We’ll respond out of his love and trust instead of reacting out of our doubts and fears. We won’t need God to tell us what to do at every moment because we learn to think the way he does. Transformation in our actions begins with our engagement with God. He rewires how we think, which will change how we live—naturally and organically. We don’t bring our effort to that process; we only have to offer a willing heart and the patience to see the process through.

As an added benefit, when we realize we can’t change ourselves, we won’t fall prey to the misguided notion that we can change others. We can encourage them both by our words and example, but forcing people to do what we think best will only backfire. Paul was so committed to that process that it felt like giving birth. “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you,” Galatians 4:19

Watching Jesus take shape in us is a miraculous process, often rising out of difficult moments when we give way to his leading instead of saving ourselves. As our trust grows in him, he is formed in us and makes himself known in the world.

The last chapter discussed how that produces sincere love and resilient trust. Now, we’ll look at three other characteristics that evidence Jesus taking shape in us: generous compassion, tender authenticity, and bold humility. Just remember, this is not what we pretend to be; it is what we become as he takes shape in us.

Generous Compassion 

I suspect deep compassion was humanity’s default setting before the fall. When unexpected adversity befalls people, almost everyone still displays it. Something deep inside us responds with empathy and concern for people in need, enough to move us to action if we have the means. The problem is that it is either short-lived or provoked by tragedy.

We pass people daily with deep wounds and needs without truly seeing or stopping to help. It’s often too overwhelming to add other people’s pain to our own. Generous compassion is not a generalized feeling of love for the masses; it is the fruit of loving “one another,” each person God gives us, one at a time. It is sacred to be touched by the need of another human enough to call us to action. 

So, how does walking with Jesus allow this generous compassion to take shape? 

First, the more we walk with him, the more clearly we’ll see how much he cares for us. When we no longer fight to get through the day, we will be more aware of others. We’ll finally see them for the first time because we’re not so absorbed in ourselves. That alone will stimulate our compassion and help us see the needs of others alongside our own.  

Second, as I come to know a generous Father, I will want to join him in his generosity. For a long time, overwhelmed with my needs, I didn’t see God as generous. He seemed to withhold what good he could do for reasons I didn’t understand. However, as I became more conversant with how he works, I saw his generosity every day. He did not necessarily give me everything I wanted, but he was always there to provide what I needed in abundance. How do you not share that?

Third, as Jesus untangles our fears and doubts, we have more emotional space to take an interest in people. No one will blurt out their needs to strangers, but they will open up to people with whom they are comfortable. Their struggles will easily touch us as we get to know them and offer whatever we can to alleviate their pain. We can hold their hurts, offering a caring heart, a listening ear, emotional support, time, or money. 

Fourth, we won’t block compassion as it stirs us. We’ve all learned tactics to help us push away compassion as it surges in us. We look for ways to blame others for their needs or comfort ourselves by minimizing their pain. But when we let compassion grow, we’ll know how to respond to them. Even when we are suffering at their hand, we will be able to respond like Jesus and Stephen did when they were being unfairly executed. “Forgive them; they do not know what they do.” Even the failures of the worst perpetrators are driven more by ignorance than intention, which opens the door to forgiveness. 

The early English translations of the Bible described Jesus as being moved by “bowels of compassion.” This expression is not used much today, even though most people feel empathy or compassion in their guts. We obviously can’t engage every person whose path we cross on a given day, but we can recognize in our own bodies when Jesus gives us compassion for another person. 

That’s why in the parable of the sheep and the goats, those caring for Jesus when he was naked, hungry, alone, or imprisoned had no idea they were doing it. “When did we see you that way?” It wasn’t an act; their actions were driven by compassion. When you see Jesus inside needy people, you can’t help but respond to them. 

Learn to recognize God’s generous compassion toward you, and sharing it with others will become second nature. 

A Tender Authenticity 

Who doesn’t want to live an authentic life?  How often have we walked away from conversations frustrated that we were too afraid to say what was on their minds, caving into what others might have wanted from us? We want to be accepted by people or at least not allow their judgment to feed our self-condemnation.  

Thus, we lose our ability to be genuine and honest as we play the games that seek to “win friends and influence people.” Unfortunately, that means we live as chameleons, trying to impress people instead of being true to our authentic selves. That’s a lonely life because no one knows who you really are. 

One of the best gifts about being affirmed in the Father’s love is that the opinions of others carry less weight. Both Jesus and Paul warned us that when we seek the approval of others, we won’t know the truth about anything—God, ourselves, or the situation we’re trapped in. Inside his love, we get to discover who we really are, and we’ll find we no longer need others to think well of us.  

The freedom to live authentically is a great gift, but by itself, it can make us obnoxious. In learning authenticity, many often overcompensate, speaking arrogantly or brashly so no one can appreciate what they’re trying to say. That’s why tenderness is so essential to add to authenticity. Though Jesus was truth itself, he took great care not to break a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick. (Matthew 12:20) He didn’t want to add pain to the weakest or most marginalized members of society. 

Tenderness allows us to be authentic in the world and not damage others. It rises in us from Jesus’s example in the Gospels and in how he treats us. He is always faithful to himself but reveals no more than his audience can hear. He only resorted to stringent rebukes when his gentler overtures did not open a door, and even that fell on deaf ears. 

I don’t want my authenticity to overrun others or my speaking truth to cause another to stumble. The power of truth is most readily received when it comes with gentleness. It is hard enough to hear without our demeanor making people defensive instead of open. Can you imagine the freedom in any circumstance to be authentic and have enough love to be tender even toward those trying to harm you? 

In every encounter, we can look for that sweet spot where we never have to be less than ourselves. At the same time, we can approach everyone with a tenderness that will open the widest door to productive and fruitful relationships. 

A Bold Humility 

In our culture, boldness is associated with pushy arrogance, and humility with being a cowering wallflower. Neither serves Jesus or his purpose in the world. 

The people who have the least to say are often the first to speak up when an issue arises. They either crave attention or think of themselves as experts at everything. Just as often, those with something meaningful to say sit back, unwilling to fight for a place. As a result, we hear plenty of meaningless noise and little true wisdom.

In these last days, it is time for the wise to be bold without losing a sense of humility. They may get drowned out by more selfish voices, but their words will be there for those who have an ear to hear. 

Where does this boldness come from? Boldness on God’s behalf rises because love cannot remain silent in the face of abuse, deception, or destructive behaviors. When you care about those victimized by darkness, you will want to help them see God’s light. However, this boldness will be a thousand times more effective if it rises from a humble heart. 

And where does this humility come from? Anyone on the adventure of getting to know God realizes they don’t possess all the answers. They have been wrong so often that they hold lightly what they think they know now. While they are confident in what Jesus has taught them, they know they cannot force it on others. They have learned through numerous failures that truth in God’s kingdom comes as an invitation, not a demand.

Inside Jesus, we have nothing to prove, nothing to gain, and nothing to lose. Although they recognize that they have no power or responsibility to change the world or anyone in it, they can still point to the light in ways that give even their detractors the best opportunity to see it. Truly authentic people can speak the truth gently, often with a provocative question or an insightful observation. 

Paul wrote that when he spoke to people, he set “forth the truth plainly commending ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:2) His goal was not to convince but to be as clear as he could and leave it to the Spirit and to conscience to convince and convict.  That’s the humility we need today. Their boldness will put truth into play, but with a humility that allows people to hear it.

Here’s the miracle: the more God takes shape in you, the more you become who you truly are. He doesn’t take you over; he expresses himself through you in the way that best befits who he created you to be.  

All five of these characteristics overlap in so many ways, creating a symphony in which God reveals himself to the world. That’s the strength of character God wants on display in the world. I could have summed all this up with the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Anyone who reflects genuine love, resilient trust, generous compassion, tender authenticity, and bold humility will undoubtedly be a gift in a tormented world. 

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Order Part 1 of It’s Time from Amazon in Kindle or paperback.

Note: This is the fifteenth in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. We have already released the first part of this book in print. Or you can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to ensure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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I try so hard to be a good follower of Jesus, but that only lasts for a brief time before I find myself giving up and sliding back into old habits that make me feel condemned. If the last days are coming, how will I ever be strong enough to make it?
—Francesca, bakery owner from the Tuscany region of Italy

Francesca,

I began this book with the inclination that it is time for the sons and daughters of God to be revealed. According to Paul, the Creation yearns for their appearing with eager expectation, and so do I. Today, there is much confusion about God’s nature because many people who claim to know him do not reflect him well.

This revealing will not primarily be through a supernatural sign or success on the world’s terms, but by the authenticity of a person’s words and the grace of their character forged through life’s hard realities. Instead of being driven by the same motivations as everyone else around them, they are tuned into something deeper, making them beacons of God’s love and light, healers in a time of anger and division.

This has already been happening all over the world, and though they may have remained obscure for now, the time is coming soon for them to be revealed. If you have not found this road yet, Francesca, and yearn to reflect God’s glory in the world, now is the time to discover how that happens.

I hope it will help you to know you’re not alone in your struggle. Many people have tried to produce God’s character on their own, some growing frustrated enough to quit while others find a more productive process. Performing for God harkens back to the days of law, when people struggled to live up to God’s expectations and, failing to do so, got swallowed in condemnation.

He does understand why we go down that road. The process of conformity is the way the world works. As children, we learned the rewards and punishments intended to shape our behavior. Those continue right into adulthood in school, on the job, in life, and even in misguided religious efforts. The best we can produce on our own is self-righteousness, which is even worse than unrighteousness.

In the previous chapter, we discussed Jesus being the firstborn of a new creation. If you want to be part of that generation, you stop working from the outside in and live from the inside out. Let me show you how that works.

Not Actors on a Stage

Most religious teachings encourage us to act differently, to shed sinful behaviors and embrace godly ones. It’s easy to cull through Scripture and find all the things we should be doing. If you don’t really love, at least act lovingly. If you struggle with sin, stop it. If you are impatient, pretend you’re not.

However, Jesus didn’t come for a generation of actors. In fact, the word translated hypocrisy from the Greek is literally a stage-player, one who pretends to be someone they are not. That’s why Jesus challenged the Pharisees, “You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Matthew 23:25-26)

Conformity focuses on the outside, transformation on the inside. When the inside is clean, the outside will be too. That seems to be the hardest lesson for humans to learn. We constantly pursue how we should act instead of cultivating an inner life that transforms us. It may be because this process requires patience. It may be quicker to pretend, but it is not sustainable. Jesus wanted us to be liberated from false motivations that scar our lives, such as greed, fear, people-pleasing, and selfishness, and find our passion inside of him.

How do I know if I’m acting? If you walk in condemnation because you think Jesus is disappointed in you, you’re trying to act. If you have something to boast about in your spiritual maturity, then you are acting. True transformation leaves us with nothing to boast about and with no desire for others to think us special. All we’ve done is engage him, and the transformation is his doing. God is not interested in a Wayne-shaped life for God, but in a God-shaped life in Wayne.

The Father’s kingdom rejects conformity as a process and instead opens a better door that changes us from the inside. A caterpillar isn’t conformed into a butterfly. How could it? You can take a caterpillar, put it in a butterfly mold and smash it with a rubber mallet, but in the end, you would only be making a crushed caterpillar. For a caterpillar to become a butterfly it must go through the incredible process of metamorphosis where it becomes totally different.

For Jesus to demonstrate his glory through you, it has to be a genuine expression of what’s true inside. To do that, he wanted us to focus on him rather than on external behavior. People who look like Jesus in the world do so because they walk with him.

Believing What You Hear

As you discover what it means to be alongside him, you’ll recognize how he reveals himself to you. This will be less about what you should do and more about showing you the truth about him, yourself, and life as it comes at you. Having his perspective will illuminate the path he has for you.

Initially, his priority will not be to make you a reflection of his glory but to rescue you from darkness. He wants to win you into his love and let you find your security in him so that sin, the lies of darkness, and even trauma will lose their hold over you. As you become more settled in his love, you’ll discover that transformation has already begun.

The essence of a transformed life is walking close enough to recognize how Father, Son, and Spirit interact with you, and when we believe what they show us, we’ll find ourselves living differently. Once he reveals himself, however, we must be obedient and follow, right? Not so fast.

Here’s the step so many people miss. Before you obey, learn to believe what you hear. That’s how Paul described it in Galatians 3. All transformation comes from believing what he reveals to us, even if it takes some time to grasp it. That’s why Jesus doesn’t give us directions nearly as often as he gives us insights. The God-shaped life doesn’t often come in words and directions, but in a growing perception of God’s nature and the desire to be like him. It is less about principles to follow as it is a person to know, and then we will think differently in the situations we face and the people we meet.

Those insights are often challenging because they are not how we usually think or see. But as we meditate on them and come to embrace them, they will change the way we think, which will, in turn, change the way we live, making us obedient without trying to be. Embracing his perspective won’t just help us at the moment, but it will also inform us for a lifetime.

A Life Shaped by God’s Life

The hardest thing for a conscientious believer is to let God do the shaping. There’s something in us that wants to do it ourselves, apply our best efforts, and yet, doing so will not produce the fruit of his kingdom. We can only make external changes that seem fake and will not stand the test of time.

Listen to how Peter wrote about it, “Let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness . . .” (1 Peter 1:15 MSG) The gravity of Father’s presence in you will continue to pull you toward a God-shaped life. The process will happen naturally as we learn to stop resisting that pull. Often, we don’t even notice the changes in us until they’re already happening. Suddenly, we notice we’re not responding in the ways we used to in times of extremity or mistreatment.

Living loved inside a relationship with God is the environment in which this shaping occurs. People will see him in us because we’ve been with him, and he’ll express himself uniquely in each of us because he created us differently. He doesn’t want to subvert your personality, but bring out all the colors of its beauty when it is no longer being twisted by the lies we tell ourselves.

All we go through—every bit of our joys, sufferings, or disappointments—are recycled inside God to shape his image in us if we walk with him through them and do not get angry or disillusioned. As I watch Jesus take shape in people, I have noticed five characteristics of their lives. In this chapter and the next, we’ll explore these five attributes: sincere love, resilient trust, generous compassion, tender authenticity, and bold humility.

This could easily be a list people feel pressured to mimic, but I don’t offer them that way. They are simply how people who are finding their home in Jesus lived. They are not something we have to achieve, but what we’ll recognize as he takes shape.

A Sincere Love

“Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34-35) Jesus said that this alone would draw the world’s attention and reveal his followers. Almost every one grows up in a fallen world learning to take care of themselves, often at the expense of others. As we let Jesus care for us, we’ll find that love is not complete without being shared.

Sincere love is not how we choose to feel toward others; there’s no pretense in it. Affection for others rises from the inside. It is genuine, honest, and caring, and it endures even in the face of the other person’s weaknesses or wrongdoing toward us. It’s just how a healthy parent loves their children or grandchildren; they don’t have to try. It’s just there, even when they are being difficult.

The more we know of his love, the more we will live others-focused lives, not using people for what we want but looking for ways to help them. This will extend not just to fellow believers but also to all kinds of people; his love is not tribal. We don’t just see our needs, but theirs as well and we will seek to treat each person justly. Where another touches your heart, their suffering becomes your suffering, their joys your joys.

How does that happen? We learn what love is from God himself. Watch how he treats you as the perfect definition of love. He doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear and doesn’t always give you what you think you need. But he is always there letting us know we are loved as he lends us his support and wisdom.

His love is like a river, the deeper you are in it, the more it will carry you in its flow. Sharing that love with others is the only natural recourse to experiencing it yourself. True love cannot be contained; it will go out to others. As we see others like God sees us, caring about them is unstoppable. When you realize what God overlooks in you daily, you’ll begin to overlook it in others.

To the degree that we feel special to God above others or feel entitled to more of his goodness, we are still responding out of our insecurities rather than the beauty of his love. The more I feel cared for by him, the more I want to share that with others. Those who are loved well love well. That’s how Jesus designed it to work.

A Resilient Trust

Trust is the quiet confidence that God sees me where I am, loves me deeply despite any evidence to the contrary, has a greater purpose for me than I understand, and has a way for me to navigate my circumstances no matter how desperate they are. It is also called faith, though trust conveys a more relational experience.

By resilient, I mean that this confidence prevails over every circumstance I might face. That doesn’t mean our trust won’t be challenged at times by crisis. Rather, it means that our trust will grow bigger than any challenge to it. So, instead of doubting God’s love, our struggles invite us more deeply into him. Even if through many tears, we can discover how he is with us in the darkness and how we can traverse it with his peace.

Trust is never hinged to any desired outcome; it is based only on God’s nature and presence. People who haven’t learned to trust are easily frustrated and angry that life hasn’t served them well. Those who learn to trust him can weather anything, and their faith will only deepen.

How does that trust grow relationally? For me, it began as I started to see my life through his eyes. I used to be so self-focused in my relationship with Jesus that my disappointments at unanswered prayers spawned doubts about how much he cared about me. As I began to find my life in him, however, it was easier to see how God was working even in my more difficult moments and that his love was greater than the outcomes I wanted.

My confidence in him grows as I watch his faithfulness to me beyond my misunderstandings, mistakes, or failures. I spend less time trying to get him to change my circumstances and more looking for how he wants to change me through them.

When I saw what he is able to do even in my most desperate moments, I was hooked. He does know best about everything. Now, I realize that pain and suffering are a normal part of our experience in this world. Every writer in the New Testament said so and that out of such times, God will shape our perseverance, character, and hope. These treasures are more valuable than comfort or ease.

So, when tough times come, it is easier for me to pause and wait for my perception of Jesus’s goodness to catch up to my circumstances. I don’t feel the need to fix anything with my frantic efforts until I discern how he might be leading.

Francesca, trusting him, come what may, is the greatest safety net of all, and it will change you in ways you can’t imagine. Nothing can touch us when our confidence is in his ability to walk with us through anything and to lead us into his joy and beauty.

Sincere love and resilient trust are great expressions of our life in him. Next time we’ll look at three other expressions of God taking shape in us.

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Order Part 1 of It’s Time from Amazon in Kindle or paperback.