Behind the Scenes

In Celebration of The God Journey

This week, The God Journey celebrated our one thousandth episode after 21 years of slinging freedom all over the place. We’ve encouraged people to think outside the box of religious obligation and discover a connection to Jesus deeply steeped in his love, with a growing trust in what he is doing in the world.  We asked people to send us brief statements of what this podcast has meant to them, and we were overwhelmed with the stories people told us. Since we couldn’t read them all on the podcast, we are posting them here for people to enjoy:

Jon: Somewhere along that journey, I discovered The God Journey podcast, and I started listening as often as I remembered to.  The episodes that I have heard over the years have been such a blessing in my spiritual journey. After some trial and error, I came to the conclusion that maybe he doesn’t want me to start a house church, but maybe he just wants me to learn how to love my neighbors and those that he brings into my life, and I learn how to experience his love in my own life on a daily basis. My life hasn’t been perfect, and I have gone through some tough times, like my 17-year marriage ending in divorce in the Fall of 2011, but I have loved having Lifestream and the God Journey to help mentor me and speak to my heart as the journey has moved forward. I am looking forward to seeing where this journey takes us in the coming months and years beyond episode 1000!

Miche (Ohio):  The conversation with God over and over and over while listening all these years:
God: Did you hear that?
Me: I heard something.  Can you help me overcome my fear of thinking about that?
God: Yup.
Me: Thanks!  I like these guys.
God: Me, too.

Dieter (Germany): The podcasts I’ve heard, along with the books and personal meetings, the best way to describe them for me is that you have been great helpers of my joy. Sometimes I feel that Religion still poisons my life, but often what you share echoes Jesus in my journey of life.

Ron (Ohio):  After numerous attempts at getting God’s approval, including counseling, 12-step groups, self-help books, church attendance, Bible reading and memorization, watching television preachers, and listening to radio preachers, I finally came to the end of myself. That is when the real God Journey started in earnest, close to 15 years ago, when I found this podcast, or when this podcast found me. The kicker was during one of the openings, with these words from Brad. ‘The God Journey… those few words say an awful lot of true things. This isn’t my journey… I am just a supporting actor in a greater drama that isn’t about me.” Learning humility, how to rest, love, and play in the Father, finding true community where it is least expected, in the unorganized places…a God Journey that is not in my control, but God’s. And that has made all the difference.

Jeff:  Hey Wayne, Sara, Brad, Kyle, and all your awesome guests, thanks so much for all the podcasts over the years. You have all given me a picture of what “living loved’ looks like as we go about our daily lives. Your words have encouraged me through my own religious deconstruction through the years. I’ve learned about “yuck meters” and true authenticity. I look forward to every Saturday or Sunday morning to soak up another series of insights. I love laughing with you all as well as feeling your pain and sorrow. Your words and discussions have enriched my life in so many ways. I feel empowered to live in His love and express acts of kindness to others.

Douglas: I have been listening for probably 15 years and can hardly wait for each episode. You, Brad, and Kyle have truly blessed my heart over the years. I have read your books and been blessed, and just finished chapter 21 of It’s Time. The thing that has blessed me the most is that you give your thoughts and opinions, but you always encourage me to, not believe you but to check everything out with my own studies and the Spirit, and see if it is true. That has taught me how to listen to what Father wants me to know, do, and be. Thank you for always giving me things to ponder and seeking God in my God Journey.

Simone (Austria): As an enthusiastic podcast listener from Austria, I am pleased to be able to speak up. A few years ago, I read your book He Loves Me. It had appealed to me, but my heart was still so caught up in legalism that the truths could not fall on prepared ground. Seven years ago, after many years of legalism and serious but desperate discipleship, I found myself in a desert. I was totally burned out, taken out of the race, and I just had to capitulate. There, I had only one question: “Who am I?” Over the course of several years, Jesus took me by the hand and taught me step by step who Heavenly Father was and who I was. I came across the book, Finding Church, and was shocked. It accurately described my situation and that of my very legal church. Suddenly, I noticed that this book was by the same author as the book He Loves Me and So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore. My curiosity was aroused, and I went online in search of sermons from you, Wayne. That’s when I came across Transition, and I was totally moved. These lectures helped me so much. And then I searched your website and came across The God journey. I was so hungry for these truths and wanted to know about people who lived what you had talked about in the talk. I didn’t know any Christians around me, and I was so grateful to see you, Wayne, and Kyle, who talked about it and lived it in their lives. I then listened to your podcasts and soaked up everything that tasted like life and freedom – and there was a lot of it!!! It was my provisions and my comfort in my legalistic environment!! I have been able to learn so much from you over the last few years. I experienced your crises and victories a bit and you were role models for me! Thank you!!! And what was one of the most exciting things for me: not only did I experience change, but I was able to experience “live” in the podcast how you changed under the loving gaze of the Father. I felt how, in your brokenness due to your marital crisis, you, Wayne, became softer and gentler. I think you can even see that in your voice and in your warmth. And you, Kyle, through the years that I “follow” you, you have learned so many valuable insights and, above all, pastoral help for yourself and passed it on to us. Without your podcast, my life would be a lot poorer and more joyless. Every Friday, I look forward to each new episode and often listen to it more than once until a new one is released. I am fascinated by the fact that God can connect hearts over so many kilometers and from such different cultures. But that’s what the Bible says. What a privilege that I can experience it in my life. I thank you, and I am happy that you have such a big heart for brothers and sisters who have also set out on the God journey! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Nicolai (Netherlands):  I started listening to the podcast sometime in 2007.  It was very nice to listen to a podcast that gave me insight and words as to why I was actually so reluctant about how the church often does things. But it was the same podcast and the book He Loves Me that made me realize that being loved and trusting Father, which implies that I don’t have to convince others that I am right (still a process ). Earlier tonight at the grocery store, a woman started talking to me after I offered my help in grabbing something for her from the top shelf. Her husband had recently died after 16 years of marriage. Ten years ago, I probably would not have been able to bring myself to listen to such a person without judgment and would have felt uncomfortable and struggled with whether to pray with her, tell her the gospel, then feel guilty for not doing it, judge myself, etc. I still haven’t walked on water, raised a dead person, healed, or brought someone to faith in Jesus. But this evening I could be there for her and really listen for a moment. Are these the greater works? At least a work in me and the podcast certainly contributed to that.

Jenny in the U.K.: I’m grateful in the podcast that you always stepped away from the idea of ‘being a follower of Wayne’, and gently encouraged there to be no middle man, to be ‘a follower of God’. It could have been so easy for me in those early days to put you up on a pedestal and follow you, and the ideas that you had introduced to me, instead. Being young and early in my proper freedom in God, I got frustrated easily that I didn’t seem to be progressing, and God didn’t seem to be doing what you said he would do if I came to rest and relax in him. Yes, my thinking was still tangled in some of those old ways of thinking still! So, what The God Journey meant to me at first was a slaking of my need and desperation to know how to get to know God more and find this new reality. I drank up your and Brad’s words, like they would save me. Gradually, gently, without me even realising, God’s work behind the scenes in my heart, my thinking started to transform, and I intuitively began to feel God’s heart more (though, with plenty of mistakes along the way, and always probing to see if things that I thought were true or not). Instead of desperation, a need, The God Journey came to be an enjoyment. You and Brad, then you and Kyle, provided a companion with whom to chew over ideas and thoughts. A relaxed sharing of your thoughts and experiences to ponder on my own God journey. I really appreciate how you enabled this through stepping well away from any encouragement to ‘follow Wayne and Brad/Kyle’. The God Journey enriches my thought-life and encourages me regularly in my journey with God. My life is incredibly horrific right now, and I still have much pain between God and me, but I always look forward to listening to The God Journey. Thank you to you, Brad, and Kyle for The God Journey podcast.

Stephen in Japan:  For me, personally, your voice in particular has been one of the most influential voices in my walk with Jesus over the years. A big part of that is that I love the fact that you don’t take the didactic path, but instead draw out ideas in conversation in a way that makes me, as a listener, feel like I’m part of it. I also appreciate your openness to new exploration and growth. Instead of staking out your territory and just camping out there, as so many do, you really do seem to be on a journey yourself. It has helped me to detox from the human-constructed organization of ‘church’ and open my eyes more to the living Body of Christ. So, here’s to another 1,000 episodes, more sacred cows tipped, and more extended burns where Simon misses his stop as a result.

Jack (South Carolina): I was first captured by you and Brad just before The Shack was released. I remember when you started talking about sacred cow tipping. (I even bought the shirt but I wore it out.) and knew I was listening to the right guys. Oh, how I loved those conversations early on. It was like you and Brad were discovering and learning how to live and love without religious overtones and obligations. Your “slinging freedom” in conversation often became fits of laughter in which I, like many, I suppose, loved to hear and join in. I am so grateful for the God Journey and all that you, Brad, and Kyle have done to keep it alive and going. You cannot imagine the impact of joy and understanding you all have had in my life. Looking back at your second podcast titled, “The adventure of a lifetime”, that title could not have been more appropriate.

Kate:  As you approach a milestone, I would like to say thank you. Sara, your courageous, vulnerable, and honest offering of your story on several podcast episodes has been such encouragement for me. Rarely in Christian circles do women leaders share the struggle, the now and not-yet of healing, and the regret and the tension of wondering. You are an inspiration to me as you struggle with the past and consider how to “be” fully you, fully Sara in the here and now. Wayne, your understanding of God’s unconditional love and your pursuit of authentic communities and relationships has supported my journey in such a foundational way. I have been listening for 14 years after I read the book, So You Don’t Want to Go To Church Anymore. You showed me that it’s okay to long for more—long for relationships beyond meetings and programming. Your words have revealed again and again that over-functioning and exhausting performance does not equate to a greater threshold of God’s love or power. Most importantly, I grew up thinking that if I just did all the “right” things, my idea of the “great design for life” would unfold. When life didn’t happen as expected and I was suffering with despair and regret, your words helped me understand that the love of God does not guarantee my idea of a great life. Thank you for awakening me to a more expansive perspective.  I am so very grateful for the podcast, for the blog, and for the books that point us to a deeper experience of living real and living loved.

Jeff (Colorado): Years ago, as I grew more and more disillusioned with church and all of the junk that goes on there.  Not to mention a source of deep wounds for me, I was prepared to endure another lecture when the pastor told us that there was this new book we should avoid—The Shack.  I was searching for it on my phone as he droned on with the lecture.  I downloaded it and had it read the next week.  This was the first time someone told me that the finger wagging at me was “especially fond of me”, rather than “especially disappointed with me”.  Mind blowing, unimaginable, counter to all I had been taught… could it be true?  Then I had to know who wrote this story.  I easily found the author, and then I discovered The God Journey.  I think this would have been in early 2009.  I was hearing thoughts, ideas, and questions that I had had for years, but was told were wrong.  When I heard the idea of taking a new believer and having them spend a couple of years just focused on what it means to be loved rather than what it takes to get God to be happy with me, I had to start.  I spent 5.  During that time, I began to see that it was possible.   I started to see our employees, customers, and almost everyone in a new way. I learned to get up each day and think, “Okay, what do we have to do today?”  That led me to a man one day, in his home, in a sales call.  He was a cop in a high school.  We live near Columbine, and while this cop wasn’t in Columbine, all school cops in this area are on a different kind of alert.  That got us talking, and that led to his daughter.   First, he told me he was raised in a strict Church of Christ environment.  His daughter had gotten pregnant in high school.  Then married a different guy soon after and had another child, then cheated on that husband with yet another guy.  He called her “white trash”.  There isn’t much to say to that.  It is heartbreaking to hear.  We have daughters.  My sister became pregnant in high school, too.  I cannot imagine being that disappointed in one of our girls.  In the middle of this conversation, I found myself thinking, “Okay, God, how in the world can this be what we have today, because I have nothing?”  And out of nowhere, I thought of the story of Jesus and the adulteress.  I asked him, “After Jesus wrote in the sand, and the guys left, what did Jesus tell her?”.  The cop quickly said, “Go and sin no more”.  I actually had to remember, Oh yeah, that is in there too.  No, I said, the other thing.  He didn’t know.  When I said, “Your accusers don’t condemn you, and neither will I”, I had chills.  I mentioned that the one who could throw the first stone chose not to.  He still chooses not to for all of us.   This helped define how I am loved.  I still don’t know if that moment was for him, for me, or both.  It doesn’t matter.  I left his house, and all I could do was replay the conversation over and over and then ask, “Why in the world would you tell her to stop sinning?”  Don’t you know better than to tell us that.  I joined a friend for lunch, thinking that since God knows better,  “sin” must not mean what I think it means.  We had been meeting for a few years by this point and had read He Loves Me, Bo’s Cafe, So You Don’t Want to Go To Church Anymore, and listened to the podcasts.  We were part of the expanding conversation. We talked it through, and after a couple of weeks, my friend brought the verses “My people have committed a compound sin: they’ve walked out on me, the fountain Of fresh flowing waters, and then dug cisterns— cisterns that leak, cisterns that are no better than sieves”  BOOM. This could be the “sin” that Jesus was referring to.  After committing what was said to be sin, adultery, and feeling that God was disappointed in her, she just gave up and gave in to the wrongdoing.    If she understood that he had it all covered and there wasn’t much she could do to earn it, that the one who could condemn her chose not to, it would be easy to accept that living water.  She was loved!  I am loved!   I think that I might be figuring it out.  I am one of the goofs who went back and listened to all of the podcasts.  Many of them, over and over again, I have found that things I thought were just “contrary thinking” on my part that should be kept to myself were also being thought about and talked about by other believers all over the world.  All part of this ever-expanding conversation.  I had been following doctrines, the current “translation” of the Bible, and a conformance-based organization.  I didn’t need to ask that question, “Ok, what do we have today?”.  Learning to do this changed everything.  When you launched the “This Changes Everything” series recently, it really did help to remind me that our efforts to be righteous are just building cisterns and that building those cisterns is just the second step in rejecting the Living Water.  And, then, “Jesus not telling us what to believe but how to live, and yet the creeds are  ONLY telling us what to believe”.  More change.  After almost 1000 podcasts, I still look forward to what the conversation will bring next, what we might have to participate in today.  Thanks to all who are part of the conversation, but it doesn’t cover it.  It is all I have at the moment.  When the podcasts end, I will probably go back to the beginning and start over.  Just to see what I may have missed.

John and Jill (New York):  We are regular listeners of your podcasts for probably at least 15 years.  Many aspects drew us into your orbit of sharing and living loved.  Number one is interesting, given that we are about the same age (71), married for 50 years this past June, and more importantly, share some parallel paths that were walked. You left your church in a major awkward power play, and we left our church of 25 plus years, deeply invested in elder and deaconess activities over disputes with the pastor, who really did not like our influence and direction, which was at odds with his personal desires. God told me to leave in a dream, and we have not looked back at all. Your sharing  “He has more to teach you if you leave than if you stay,” has been on the mark for us as well. Our old church “friends” are no more … and I am sure they cannot understand why we have not connected elsewhere in another body.  After many hard conversations just before we left the church… and God telling us to leave … I felt like I was a fighter pilot being ejected and just enjoying the parachute ride to earth in complete silence! Many thoughts come to mind that impressed us with your podcasts:

  • You certainly lived out what you teach in your recent tough times with Sara’s trauma. You totally committed to what the Spirit was telling you to do while it was at odds with your personal desires … and no “caving” in—an amazing example of God’s love flowing through you and depending totally on Him.
  • We sense your teaching is authentic … without ulterior motives  and certainly absent of a need for “cash”
  • When we attended one of your local meetings with families in Massachusetts, similar to your podcasts, you didn’t come with an agenda that you tried to “fit in” to the conversation. You listen first, and then responded with what God puts on your heart.
  • You have introduced us to “My Friend Louis,” Father Gregory Boyle of Homeboy Industries (and others that you have invited to the podcasts ), with similar authentic experiences of living life with the Father.
  • You address current events in a way that sows the seeds of peace and trust in the Father’s love.

May your podcasts and other activities continue for as long as the Lord leads. You have been a blessing to us and several of our close friends.

Lyndon in South Australia:  When I first contacted you about my story, some years ago, it was about 18 months from the event that changed the worst day in my life to the best one. The false accusation that blew my world apart but was then retracted had taken me from contemplating a really dark end to suddenly being surrounded and permeated by a physical, tangible presence of God I had never experienced before. Inside that presence over the following days and weeks, I was numb, like I had died but just hadn’t left my body. So I often just sat confused, but enveloped by this undeniable feeling of God that was the real thing to me. I finished the “Jake book” I had just started before the blowup, and it reignited, along with my current experiences, a deep longing to know this God I was feeling right now, as opposed to the God I had abandoned some 20-plus years ago. When I tried to imagine what this looked like ahead, I saw nothing. All I knew with absolute clarity was that it looked nothing like the religious picture of God from my past. It wasn’t so much a choice as to not even be on the radar to possibly compare. The big issue was my mind, which couldn’t make rational sense of any of it. I look back now and I see my mind as this programmed dystopian world ruled and constructed from experiences from the world, religion, and learned self-preservation. A landscape of fortified bunkers with loudspeakers on tall towers constantly feeding me a narrative of lies about myself and God. Then I tuned into the GJ.  I can’t tell you how incredibly therapeutic it was to listen to voices that talked about a reality of God that aligned with everything I was feeling on the inside. The banter, the honesty, the humour, the listener engagements all centred on this idea of relaxing into a reality of “living loved”. I had never heard God discussed in such a relational way by people outside the religious sphere with no monetary agenda.  The dialogue was so refreshing to me, and it helped to reshape and challenge so many preconceived ideas I had just accepted about God’s character.  I even went back and started listening to the first podcasts from 2005 onwards while I was driving to and from work and between jobs. It didn’t matter the subject material; what stood out was the presumption in the conversations that God is always present, loving, and looking to engage with us. It was always done in such a manner to never subvert or replace God but to direct us back to hearing God for ourselves. So thank you, Wayne, Sara, Brad & Kyle. Thanks for the willingness to be open, transparent, to share honestly your journeys, to be vulnerable, and just plain real. Today I still listen in, it continues to be a rich, fertile input into my journey with thoughts and insights that help give language and perspective in this ongoing discovery of God. Six years later, that presence remains as strong as it was back then; my kids have often joked, “Ah… Dad’s sitting in the dark again”. It’s true, I sit alone with the lights off and just marinate in this spiritual reality, which my mind deeply resents from not understanding hardly any of it.  It usually catches up eventually, like hearing the late news at the end of the day. Today, trying to stare into the future, I still see nothing. God doesn’t seem to trade in certainty, just the assurance of trust in his goodness and character. I heard this recently: “God is not a mystery to be solved, but a presence to embrace”.  I like that, I can do that. And I want to thank you all from the GJ people I have never met from the other side of the world for helping me see and experience this in my own journey.

James and Charla: We’ve been listening to the God journey since 2004. We both met in 1976 in a Bible school where we were learning to love and follow Jesus. We married that year, and I taught in the church, led worship, and later, we went to the mission field with YWAM. In the mission field, we didn’t attend church because there were none, so we were accustomed to walking a solitary walk with Jesus in strange lands. In 2002, we came back from the mission field to one of the churches that had supported and stood with us for years. However, there was a clear sense that we didn’t belong there any longer. The Holy Spirit actually began to tell us to “come out from among them”, even though we had friends there and were expected to join their leadership team. It would not come out until twenty years later that two of the most respected ministers in the church were having an affair from 1992 to 2012. In 2004, I began to truly wonder if it was right or wrong that we were not going to church and didn’t want to. So I Googled, “Why don’t I want to go to church anymore?”, and the first thing that came up, was the unfinished story of Jake Colson, and that’s how we were introduced to Lifestream and shortly thereafter, to the God Journey podcast. We’ve enjoyed it for many, many years, and have been encouraged by all of you for all these years. Thank you for making a sanctuary in the wilderness for so many of us!

Lisa (Ohio): You have been, for many years, and still sometimes are, my only community. My healing has been slow, from religious trauma, among other things. It began about 2009, when I began to feel the weight of the religious control. I sought out different institutions, experiences, trying to find the “real” Jesus—not some man’s opinion on who he is, and not truth through men’s filters. I stumbled much along the way, but each new iteration, which ultimately led to more disillusionment, kept leading me to him…process of elimination, I guess! I mean, I loved and served him for 40 years. But I had no real understanding of his heart for me. Enter Wayne. I met you for the first time in KY. I guess about 2015. Right as disillusionment had begun again in the place where I was serving. I was starting to believe for the first time that Jesus’s love for me was more than I could imagine, more than songs, and scripture, and the hyped up love bombing of people whose idea of being a believer entailed conforming. And when I never could, the marginalizing would begin all over again. I was not good enough. With the interpretation of the gospel laid down in your book, He loves me, I began to finally see a picture that made sense to my heart. A view of the Father not based in fear, superstition, or rules I never could somehow interpret correctly. Where striving ceased, and simply receiving became a place of rest. The God journey has been my church, my community. I have not found lots of people, so far, who are engaging and living free. (the feral faithful) I don’t get to technically interact with you guys in a relational context, though you have always been so gracious and faithful to address my struggles when I shared them with you, Wayne. I have been lonely at times. But honestly, it was more withdrawal pains from what wasn’t healthy to begin with. That carried discomfort, pain, and confusion at times. But Jesus has sat with me on my couch, wherever it was, and was with me in it. I’ve gotten to share from time to time with someone. I have a few friends who let me be me. I’ve gotten to love people I might have been afraid of before. I still get confused. I still get triggered into fear. But it’s less and less as time goes on. I don’t know what to do about that. I’ve just lost my desire to “do.” You have been there for me, my church in the world, and I’m part of the conversation in my mind as I listen and talk to God about what captures my heart. Maybe God intended more, but its where I am. I hope you guys don’t stop anytime soon, but I trust him; even then, he will take care of me. Wayne, I hope I get to see you again someday, but if not, I’ll see you with Jesus someday. Thank you for The God Journey and putting the pearl out there in the world. Thank you for the podcasts, and keep them coming for another thousand!

Pete (Maryland): Though I had read all your books, Wayne, from the first ones I bought from you at the Pa Coffee House back in ’05/06,  I had not listened to any podcasts til My Friend Louis, which I couldn’t stop listening to over two weekends.  And then what a blessing to have you in our home several times since The Shack came out. But it wasn’t til you had to cancel your trip to be with my dear 50-year friendships in Austin that I knew something serious had taken place. Several months later, when you told me I could catch up with your ‘life’ by listening to the podcasts starting with Unforeseen Circumstances.  I listened to all of them that Labor Day weekend and wept through them as it was a similar story of Candy’s trauma and our story back in 1983-1993, though I did not respond as you did, and thus the 10-year journey through it. I would highly recommend every husband, especially the 50% plus who are married to one who was exposed to such trauma in their childhood or youth.  Your podcasts, especially with Sara, so opened my eyes to what Candy was experiencing [40+ yrs ago], and how I could have been a helpmate to her as you were to Sara. What an example for other Christ followers today!! I am so grateful for the Lord’s love and kindness and patience with me in healing our marriage and giving us four incredible years while the boys were in high school, prior to cancer taking her life. For the past three years, I haven’t missed a podcast and listen to them usually several times by the weekend or beyond!!! Keep them coming!

Alisa: I just wanted to share what the God Journey podcasts have meant to me (and also my family, especially my husband, Mark) over the years. I first found “you” after reading The Shack and doing some online research about 18 years ago. We have listened to your podcasts with Brad and now Kyle, off and on throughout those years. My husband Mark and I moved to Thailand just before my 40th birthday in 2001. We were both registered nurses and joined a team wanting to do medical clinics and community development with impoverished Hill Tribes in Northern Thailand. Mark had said when we moved here that God had spoken to him, saying that, “About 20% of the work I will be doing through you…and about 80% of the work I will be doing within you”!! Well, that has certainly been true. Our “God Journey” here has been most fruitful in helping us grow in our knowing and experiencing Him – especially outside the box of Christianity. Having your books, especially He Loves Me and The God Journey podcasts, has been incredibly helpful in affirming our journey. Through these podcasts, you have honestly been a big part of our faith community (without actually being present). We not only listen, but also have many discussions revolving around the podcasts. Knowing there are others out there along the same path has often been a huge comfort in many ways. Before moving here, I had no idea how deeply immersed the missionary community would be in religiosity! We often find ourselves without any like-minded believers to share with in person. I also want to mention that the “Love, Rest, Play” teaching has been especially helpful to me personally. Through the years, I have read, reread, and listened to the audio version of He Loves Me! While this has been helpful and impactful, I have still really struggled to “remain” grounded in my experience of His love. It’s like I have believed it 100% in my mind, but somehow it just wouldn’t come through (despite many tearful prayers) into my heart. But something about the love-rest-play combination and hearing you and Kyle continue to expound upon that concept has really started to seep deeply into my soul.

Jill (Texas): Others will put it more eloquently, but simply stated, The God Journey has brought me from death to life. Drowning in a fear-filled, performance-driven life, He Loves Me and The Shack opened my heart to experience daily that I can live loved by Father. His forever love enabled me to enjoy an Alaskan cruise with no fear of drowning!!! That’s a big deal coming from someone who can’t swim. About the trip: how a sharecropper’s daughter raised on a dirt farm in central Texas could find herself in the luxury of a Viking cruise, experiencing the majesty of God‘s creation, is beyond me. God‘s greatest gift came in the relationships that were developed – the people I got to love, encourage, and pray with were definitely the highlight! The ripple effect of God‘s love being dropped in places you never expected to be can’t be measured or predicted, only experienced.

Lisa (Florida):  You guys are the ones who know how to put your thoughts into words so well, which is one of many reasons I enjoy listening to your podcasts. For those of us who don’t have “community” as you often describe, you are our community. It is encouraging, sometimes challenging, and often a blessing to our hearts to hear you talk about what is living in our own hearts and minds. I can’t thank you enough for the time and effort you have given, leading up to the #1,000 podcast. That is amazing!

Jonathan: Wayne and Kyle, thank you so much for your honest and authentic ponderings you share with the world once a week through The God Journey. My dad turned me on to this podcast back in 2020 when the World seemed upside down and so unpredictable. You guys helped me keep my eyes and heart on Jesus as I was navigating the loss of a job due to the pandemic while having my second kid. I am so grateful for your voice as one that I trust. I may not agree with every single thing, but I trust your hearts that have lead me to ponder, and wrestle with matters of faith, sin, trauma, and belief. Just recently, I was really struggling with some as yet unredeemed struggles in my life, and the next day I listened to you guys talk about contentment, and it was like the Holy Spirit just whispered some things to my heart that just took me back from striving to rest. This happens so much. I really, really love you guys. I bless you and thank you! Here’s to the next 1,000 episodes!

Patrick: For me, the journey began with discovering  Jake’s Story online.  The adventures of Jake and John gave focus and a language and companionship to a journey that Father had already been inviting me along  . . .  and then as I listened to the intimate conversations of Wayne and Brad (as well as Kyle now ) the truth and reality of relaxing in Father’s love and affection began taking on substance and form as that journey matured.  To try and write a brief synopsis of TGJ’s impact on myself and my family feels like trying to drink from the flow of the Iguazu Falls, but suffice to say that I am eternally grateful for Father’s kind guidance through each of your lives and voices.  Thank you to each of you and your many guests over the years . . . the seeds of love that Father had for me to experience were watered and harvested because of your honesty, transparency, and vulnerability.  Looking forward to the Family Reunion that is anticipated from the Trinity’s love and relationships.

Georgia:  The God Journey has meant so much to my life and my walk with the Lord. I’ve listened to every podcast once or more. My life has changed from legalism and dictatorship to a loving walk with the Lord. What I have learned through the God Journey is a new life in Christ. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Charlie (Pennsylvania):  The impact of the God Journey on me is like the difference between a movie and a TV show. In a movie, details, character development, and timing are so abbreviated that it’s difficult to bring in the humanity of an individual or a story. A TV show, on the other hand, is able to include the mundane, the down moments, and let us truly get a glimpse into the ordinary life of the characters that the movie format doesn’t dig deep enough into. The God Journey has been the TV show perspective that I and countless others have needed to see glimpses of the Journey regularly unveiled. Not just the highlights or catchy quotes, this way of sharing has brought us the person of Jesus rarely brought out, in the gentle but funny ribbing you give each other, more quiet but insightful world event commentary, and the real intimate events of your lives that make listening so relatable. Because of this, the God Journey has been a star in the heavens, consistently there through life’s seasons, giving light, food for thought, and a gentle reminder of Jesus’ directions and presence in the world. It boggles my mind to think back, as my time with you started mid-college (2008) and has now spanned first jobs (you’ll remember my emails to you, as the mail room guy), engagement, marriage, and four kids. The God Journey has been a needed gentle whisper of life and God through it all.  For my wife, the podcast has been a different experience, but like the way Father weaves it all together – just what is needed for her Journey. Not coming from a Protestant background, or considering herself wanting to be all that close with Jesus, the God Journey has been that voice that has just the right touch. Avoiding the preachy nature of many Christian voices that have been a huge turn off, The God Journey has been at a human level relatable, and the right temperature to slowly wade in and try the water. The regular discussion of God’s love in a way wholly different from that traditional to Christianity, talking about forgiveness, the joys and struggles of parenting, and the other treasures of this Kingdom, are topics that continually draw us in. Thank you for simply sharing daily life, growth, struggles, and discussions between such kind, generous, wise, and down-to-earth brothers and sisters. The God Journey has been life-giving, inspirational, and thought-provoking, and I’m hoping to have the companionship and life commentary for many years to come, to share with my kids as they grow.

Matt (Western Australia): For me, it is in the name. It’s about God and the journey of His image being restored in us. Father, Son, and Spirit making their home within us (John 14:23). TGJ is about as routine as it gets for me these days in terms of weekly ritual. As a recovering Pharisee, I eased into listening many years ago, as I was extra cautious of anything religious. Though I loved your books, Wayne, and they helped usher in my freedom to live the life I loved, away from the tyranny of institutional religion—the futile quest to appease God by our own efforts. It is still a work in process, as we know how deep religion runs, but loving the daily moment-by-moment journey as He reveals himself more and more. It is such a dynamic process. Lately, it has been working through the process of embracing uncertainty, discomfort, insecurity, apprehension, and worry. It seems weird, but learning to befriend these dudes, as they are often the tools used to deepen our connection to Father and experience more of His presence. Rather than the futile struggle to keep them at bay, he’s teaching me to trust Him to walk me in and through them. This is where love, joy, peace, and life continue to grow. He is making us whole again and restoring His image in us. This is hard as He is dismantling the pride deep within us all. It is a dynamic life-giving process through the Spirit, and the best bit is that it can’t be controlled or contrived. We are wind riders, walking by the Spirit, and riding the wind is different for each of us. I am becoming more convinced that this is what scares the enemy the most. Institutional Christianity often paints a third-person God you can hold at arm’s length and objectify. Once you objectify him, you can try to replicate and codify just about anything to do with it in the seen, works-based world.  Then it is easy to justify ways you control, coerce, and conform others to your perspective of God. Then the life starts to dissipate. None of this seems by chance. In this way, The God Journey has also been protective in honing the yuck meter to the false and inauthentic elements of the journey.

Cyndi (Virginia): A friend introduced my husband and me to The God Journey in mid-2024, so we have a lot of material to catch up on! Imagine our surprise when Wayne met with members of the religion we had been part of all our lives on his trip to Boise, ID, in July 2025! The group is relatively small and has no official name, so how did it come on Wayne’s radar? My husband and I left the group in Fall 2023 after learning about massive Child Sexual Abuse that had been, and continues to be, covered up by the ministry for generations. Through your podcast and the resources available on your website, Lifestream.org, we are finding a pathway forward, learning what it really means to “walk with God”. You are also helping us recognize when God brings people into our lives with whom we can have fellowship. It feels like this is what God was calling us into when he called us out of religion – not a structure, but a lifestyle. So to summarize what the podcast means to my husband and me, Wayne and his hosts have kind of been a combination of Eli and Moses to us: Eli because you are teaching us how to talk with God, and Moses because you are helping guide us through the wilderness. We appreciate that you always point us to God, not yourselves, so maybe there’s a little John the Baptist mixed in there too! Thank you for sharing without charge what God has taught you.

Bill: I’ve been listening to you guys for several years, and I’ve recently started listening to episodes from the archives. Even though I no longer have to listen to you guys to confirm what I’m feeling, it’s been a joy to listen to y’all’s journeys. You have introduced new words into my vocabulary, such as living loved, sacred cow-tipping, pharisectomy, and don’t “should” on me.  Thank you for demonstrating what a real relationship with Father is like. Keep slinging that freedom.

Evan: Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences on The God Journey. It has meant a lot to me in these past couple of years that I have been listening. I am a recent college graduate, and I struggled to make the Christian campus life work. I attended InterVarsity for a little over a semester and stopped attending local churches after about a year and a half. My significant other also experienced challenges during their time too. I wanted to participate in a Christian community, but I just couldn’t find myself fitting in any of them. I started listening to the podcast around my sophomore year as a recommendation from my dad. The two of you had wonderful discussions on what it means to be a Christian and how to live loved. After a couple of months of listening, you released five episodes questioning how we look at sin (viewing sin as trauma). When I look back at how I felt during this time, I see it like scales falling from my eyes as I found a new way to look at the world of sin and shame. The justice vs. righteousness discussions were also incredible. All the teachings of a rigid truth of the Bible that I previously accepted with a solemn attitude were suddenly up in the air, and I was captivated, excited, and so hopeful that this way of thinking could be truer and better than the shame and fear that I was all too familiar with. I finally began to get myself out of the box that I thought I had trapped God in. In this past year as a student, I can recall a moment of my roommate having 1-on-1 with a group leader in which he said something along the lines of, “We know that anyone who does this is going to hell, it’s right there in the Bible!” with all the enthusiasm and matter-of-factness of a college student who has it all figured out. Now equipped with my very own yuck-meter, I held this declaration with a grain of salt. I don’t feel so guilty for skipping out on these organizations anymore. I learned that God will still find ways to talk to me and that sometimes a change of pace is needed. After all, I did attend church twice a week for almost my entire life before college. However, I don’t want to discourage anyone from participating in these groups. If you find value and comfort in them, I would suggest you go for it! Your podcast has been so helpful to me and is much of the reason my faith is as strong as it is today. Thank you for sharing a freer, more beautiful, and more hopeful way of living loved.

Who would have thought this little podcast would have such a profound effect on so many people around the world. Thank you to all who took the time to share their thoughts with us. We were all deeply touched by all of them and have been blessed beyond measure to be part of these conversations. If you want to add what The God Journey has meant to you, please do so in the comments below.

 

In Celebration of The God Journey Read More »

Gayle Erwin and the Servant Heart of Jesus

In the last few years, I’ve used this page to express my appreciation for the older brothers in Christ who helped shape my life. They’ve included Dave Coleman, who helped me write So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore, Kevin Smith from Australia, Jack Gray of New Zealand, Tom Mohn of Tulsa, and my own father. Last month, Gayle Erwin, best known for his book, The Jesus Style,  though he wrote many others about the nature of God, passed away at 86.  Sitting at his celebration service this weekend, I thought of all the older men God had placed in my life throughout my journey. Each added something profound and transforming to my understanding of God and trusting him. They also shared their love and friendship with m.  There’s only one of them left, then I will no longer have seniors on this journey, only peers.  I miss them all, but I am so grateful to have lived when I could have known these men.

Gayle Erwin was not only a gifted teacher but also a fantastic storyteller with a rich sense of humor that allowed truth to be carried to otherwise well-defended places in our illusions. He had an amazing view of the servant nature of Jesus and his others focused life. You can discover more at GayleErwin.com or watch his videos on YouTube.

I met him over thirty years ago, at a prayer breakfast in Visalia, CA, where I pastored. He was not supposed to be the speaker but was subbing for someone who had taken ill. Though I had no idea what he looked like, I had been told for years at every YWAM base I taught that I needed to meet Gayle Erwin.  I had read The Jesus Style and loved it, though I had no idea how our paths would ever cross. Then one day, I walked into the prayer breakfast that morning, greeting familiar faces, and there was one I didn’t know. When I approached him to introduce myself, I noted his name tag. As he stuck out his hand to shake mine, I pointed to his name tag and said, “The Gayle Erwin?”

He looked at my name tag and responded, “The Wayne Jacobsen?”  I shook it off with laughter because I was not nearly as well-known as he was. It turns out that wherever he traveled, people were telling him he needed to meet me.  We had a good laugh and got to know each other. I had no idea it would begin a thirty-year friendship and how helpful he would be to me as I transitioned from pastoral ministry to writing and traveling. Over the next few years, he generously shared all he had learned about travel, publishing, and the integrity of ministry on the road. He helped shape my heart in so many ways. We shared lots of laughter as well as insights about God’s nature. He was staying in my home the day O.J. Simpson was in the white Bronco running from the LAPD.

The most significant thing I learned from Gayle came in a conversation after watching him do yet another Jesus Style seminar.  I was absolutely amazed how he could work through that material with such insight and humor as if he were sharing it for the very first time. I told him how stunned I was that he could do that without growing weary. I then added that when I used to teach three sermons on a Sunday morning, I would stick to the same theme but often change the illustrations and Scriptures around so I wouldn’t get bored.

With a laugh in his voice and a twinkle in his eye that disarmed my defenses, he responded, “So then, ministry is still about you.” It was the gentlest rebuke I’ve ever received. When it sunk in, I shook my head at the stupid thing I’d just said. Then he added, “Once you see Jesus touch people through your words, you could repeat the same silly sentence every night with sheer wonder and joy.” His words proved not only accurate, but they also set an internal compass that has guided my heart throughout the years since.

I am so grateful to have had a friendship with Gayle, and somehow, through our many travels, we could share a friendship that has lasted three decades. I miss knowing he’s a phone call away.

Whenever someone I know dies, my first thought is, I wish I knew what they know now. Someday, I hope to sit under a tree somewhere and celebrate again the friendship Jesus gave us and the grace he poured into both of our lives.  And I will introduce him to some of the others I listed above, if he hasn’t already met them in eternity.

Relationships make us rich, and older brothers and sisters on this journey who know him well are some of the greatest treasures of all. I hope you have people like that in your life. If not, ask God to reveal some to you.

 

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Progress on the Home Front

I don’t like using this page to share my medical progress. Still, I continue to hear from people who are reticent to get in touch with me for fear that I don’t have the strength or time to handle their communication or that they want to give Sara and me the privacy to navigate this without intrusion. While we appreciate the generosity of spirit behind those concerns, we want you to know it is now unnecessary.

Sara and I talked on our walk this morning about the first few weeks after having my spine fused and starting chemo. The pain was horrific, and navigating the simplest need took everything we had.  We are, however, long past those days.  I am nearly as fit today as I was before all this began. I do have a fused spine now, and the first few months of recovering from that were rigorous and painful. I have mostly recovered from that surgery, and only have some limitations as well as minor, annoying pain persisting. I also have multiple myeloma, a form of blood cancer, that is currently being contained by the chemotherapy I have been receiving. My treatments started weekly for four months, then went to bi-weekly. Last Wednesday was the last of those treatments, and now I am on a once-a-month maintenance dose. I have been fortunate; I have not had any significant side effects limiting my activity.

The Physician’s Assistant overseeing my care told me last week, “We wish all of our myeloma patients would respond like your body has. Your numbers are so low that if I did a bone biopsy today, I wouldn’t find any evidence of cancer.  It is still there, but in numbers so low it would be undetectable.” Without healing from Jesus, it is likely to relapse someday, but every breath I take is in his hands anyway. We are going to make use of the time we’ve been given.

This time of recovery has allowed me to make significant headway on my book, It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age. I published Part 1 a couple of months ago, and I have three chapters left to write to complete the book. I’ve also been working on a new book with Tobie van der Westhuizen of South Africa about participating in God’s justice rather than being preoccupied with personal righteousness. This is an essential piece of our salvation that has been almost ignored following the Reformation. Theologians have been discussing it, but it hasn’t made headway into popular books or seminars. This has revolutionized in my heart what it means to live loved and how the whole of Scripture points us to this incredible freedom.

So, I have resumed a more normal schedule and don’t want people to be reluctant to contact me if they want to. I have begun some travel again, first a test trip to my son’s home in Denver last weekend. Next month, Sara and I are going to Alaska to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. After that, I plan to visit Boise, ID, in late June to meet some people there. I don’t know how much travel I will do in the future, since we are still attending to Sara’s healing from the trauma that devastated her life, and from which she is in the process of healing.  She’s doing great, but that will always be our priority when contemplating other trips God might invite us on. I’m also doing a lot of Zoom connections with people I can’t travel to now.

We are grateful for all the prayers and support we have received during the last three years, which have had their share of difficulty and heartache but also redemption beyond anything we could imagine. As Sara and I navigate this season and our ever-darkening world, we are excited about what Jesus might still have in store for us. We are not through walking with him and encouraging others, however he opens the door for us to do so.

Looking back over the past seven months, we are grateful for God’s provision every step of the way and for using this challenging season to draw us closer to him and to each other. Jesus wants to be our constant companion in the darkest of times. Nothing can happen to us that Jesus won’t navigate us through and shape our hearts in the process. I love him for that.

Progress on the Home Front Read More »

When Systems Come Crashing Down

Ian Campbell invited me to join him on his Insight Incorporated podcast, and the finished product dropped yesterday. It is called Love, Rest, and Play with God, but he also covered a wide range of topics and current events in my journey.

Here’s an excerpt from the podcast:

Our insecurities are like our fears; they will draw us into systems that promise to protect us in a false safety mechanism instead of finding our certainty in God. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. When people ask me what my plan is for this year, I don’t know yet. It’s going to be the same as this morning. I woke up to follow Jesus, and I’ll wake up tomorrow and follow him, and whether it’s through cancer or other difficulties going on, I’m going to live with God and trust that he has a way to navigate me through the things that happen.

So, I’m not a sitting duck for any system to be my God for me. The religious systems we created are very idolatrous in the sense that we teach people to put their trust in them, instead of finding our certainty in his love and care for us.  No matter what happens, he will be big enough to guide me through it and hold me up in it. That’s what we need because the days are growing darker, and there’s no telling where the next ten years will lead us.  Believers who have confidence in God will do just fine, but those who put their confidence in political or religious systems will be lost when those systems come crashing down.

This is a good time for us to find our security and certainty in him.

You can watch the video on YouTube:

Or listen to the audio on Apple Podcasts.

They are also offering a coupon for discounts on books ordered from Lifestream, if you’d like to take advantage of that.

________________________

 

Wayne’s newest book is designed to help the bride of Christ find her confidence in him, regardless of what may come, especially if we live at the end of the age.  Order Part 1 of It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age from Amazon in Kindle or paperback, or read previous chapters online.

When Systems Come Crashing Down Read More »

Kicking Self-Righteousness out of the Park

I was invited back to appear on a podcast in the UK entitled Off-Grid Christianity. Host Martin Purnell explores Christianity beyond the typical Sunday morning institutions. He has a probing mind and drills down into the last two years of my journey since I was first on his podcast in 2023.

Here’s their blurb about this episode:

Wayne is a returning guest from episode 30, which was released two years ago and my last question to him was where he thought he would be going in the next couple of years? What will Wayne say about his wife Sarah’s terrible trauma that was shared in episode 30? What health issues has he had to deal with? What does ‘I surrender all’ mean to Wayne? Why has the word Righteousness been used in most English translated bibles when others use a different word? What is Just and Justice? What about the only commandment that Jesus gave us? If you thought Episode 30 was challenging and yet absorbing, wait till you hear this brand new episode. Wayne doesn’t pull any punches but again shares in love.

You can listen to it here. 

When Martin sent me the link for the current podcast, he mentioned that he’d already shared the podcast with a friend of his before it was posted. His friend responded this way:

Wayne’s world is a great place to be. Excellent podcast. Lots to think about. Really interesting about justice/righteousness and his views on sin and surrendering all. So realistic and kicks all the self-righteous stuff out of the park.

I’m glad that’s what he got out of it.  I wasn’t intending to kick self-righteousness anywhere, though I know it can be a real problem. To follow our theme about righteousness and justice, however, it’s interesting to note there is no such thing as self-justice because self-justice is no justice at all, and I suspect that’s also true of righteousness.

 

_____________________

If you don’t have your copy of Wayne’s newest book, you can order it from Amazon on Kindle or in paperback. The ebook is only $4.99, and the paperback is $7.99. It is called It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age.  You can find out more here.

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It’s Time Part 1 Is Now Available in Book Form

Tomorrow is the official release date for my newest book, but it is already available on Kindle  or in print from Amazon. We are still in the process of getting it released by other e-book providers.

This book is close to my heart and timely enough to publish the first part while I’m still working on the second part. For Kindle purchasers, Part 2 will automatically download into your e-reader when I complete it and we add it. Sorry, but we cannot do this with the print version.

Here’s the back cover copy if you’re not familiar with this book from my blogs about it:

What if we’re currently living within a decade of Jesus’s return?

Followers of Jesus have awaited that day since Jesus ascended into the clouds forty days after his Resurrection. Having offered his salvation, he promised to return to redeem the Creation itself.

Whether he comes in the next 10 years or 150 years, there will be a generation of Christ followers tasked with bearing witness to his light through the perilous times that precede his coming. They will need

  • A love stronger than their self-interest.
  • A light greater than the lies of darkness.
  • A resilient faith that is only strengthened in adverse circumstances and
  • Undeniable hope in a future of God’s choosing rather than the pursuit of individual plans.

And if that will serve us well in those days, wouldn’t it be worth living that way today?

This book is a bit out of the ordinary for me, but I am writing it with the sense that God wanted me to share this. It truly is time for the sons and daughters of God to be revealed on the earth. Paul said that creation yearns for it, and so do I. The book is 126 pages long, and I hope it will invite people to consider their lives and journey in light of his return, whenever that might be.

Order the Print version ($7.99)

Order the Kindle version ($4.99)

And if you’ve already been reading the chapters on my blog and want to offer a review at Amazon, that is always helpful to others finding it.

It’s Time Part 1 Is Now Available in Book Form Read More »

Guesting on Another Podcast

First, from the deepest place in our hearts Sara and I want to express our gratitude to all of you this Christmas season. Thank you for your engagements with us over the year and your love and support for Sara’s journey through trauma and now mine through a bit of cancer. I tell people all the time that I know some of the best people on this planet, who take their life in God seriously, but themselves not so much. That’s the best combination. We have grown so much in our conversations with you and how openly you share your own stories with us. In recent months we’ve been especially grateful for all the prayers, meals, encouragements, and kindnesses so many of you have directed our way, many from great distances, in our time of trial.

We are truly blessed to have you in our lives and pray that you have a very special Christmas with family and friends, and that Jesus will lead and guide you through the year ahead. Our hearts especially go out to those who because of family break-ups or grieving someone’s passing that you deeply loved are finding yourselves grieving while others are celebrating. We are praying that Father makes himself and his comfort known to you and fill you with his peace and joy. If we can be an encouragement there, please get in touch.

Merry Christmas, and a Blessed New Year to you and yours
from Wayne and Sara

Now on to some fun stuff—

A couple of weeks ago, I recorded an interview with Jason and Matt, who co-hosted an episode of Rethinking God with Tacos PODCAST. I love when I’m not the host and others get to probe my life and thoughts as it helps them. This is a special conversation that dropped last week. This is how they described it:

In this conversation, Wayne Jacobsen shares his transformative journey of understanding God’s love, the impact of his book ‘He Loves Me’, and the challenges he faced in his personal life, including health issues. He also shares a deeply personal story about trauma and breakthrough. The discussion also touches on theological shifts regarding atonement and the nature of true peace in the face of adversity. In this conversation, the guys explore the complexities of reconciliation, trauma, and the nature of justice in relationships. They discuss the importance of navigating personal trauma, recognizing toxic relationships, and the role of good counsel in healing. The dialogue emphasizes the need for trust in God’s justice and the transformative power of living loved, ultimately leading to restorative justice that heals both victims and perpetrators.

Also, a couple of weeks ago I wrote about a resurgence of interest in He Loves Me, and requests to publish new versions in Russia, Ukraine, and Israel. Now I get this email from Denis in France:

In April 2021 I discovered your book He Loves Me in French and it changed my perception of God’s love. Then I discovered the Shack too and I looked for nudges in my life like you! Now I share this around me, and two people have already done a full sharing (about a year) and 3 other people are just starting now. It’s like a stone that you throw on a calm lake, there are visible rebound of course but also and above all the wave that continues to propagate…it is the work of God through you!  I pray for you and Sara in this new part of your life

I got this about another book from a friend in Wales:

Something that we hope will encourage you, my wife has a home visit from a medical professional, who often opens her heart as she longs to break free from obligations and duty that her church expects from her. She has read several of your books that we have given her and recently on a flight back from Israel was reading Finding Church, so also was a fellow passenger sitting behind her over her shoulder. A conversation ensued, and some of your books are now hopefully being read in Cornwall!

And this from someone in the States about his journey to live loved:

For me it was very, very, very, very hard to get God’s love for me because as a recovering Pharisee, the slant of righteousness and justice that I was presented with most of my life made being loved by God hard to imagine.  It was your book about So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” that got me thinking about Jesus being loving.  I didn’t get it, but I wanted to.  That led me eventually to talk with you in person while you were in Massachusetts, and I still didn’t get it until God spoke to me personally.

Guesting on Another Podcast Read More »

A Fresh Wave for He Loves Me

While I am sidelined with my recovery from back surgery and some chemo, God seems to be stirring something with my book He Loves Me. In the last week I’ve had numerous emails about this book. Some people are starting book studies with friends or doing podcasts about it. It’s so much in one week that it has made me ponder what Father might be doing in this season with a book that is almost 25 years old.

Also, someone sent me a link to two people who did a deep dive into He Loves Me, but they did it in 21 minutes. I was impressed, though, with their conversation because it covered the significant themes in an engaging and enlightening way. You can listen to it here.

I also recorded a podcast on Tuesday with Discovering God with Tacos. It’s a funny name for it, and I thought I’d have to recuse myself since I’m not too fond of tacos, but they were gracious to let me join them anyway and talk a bit of BBQ while we’re discussing my journey. I can’t wait to share it with you when it airs. I’ll have to let you know when it does.

Finally, I’m getting emails from various places around the world that want to do translations and reprints. This includes Israel, Russia, and Ukraine. That hasn’t been easy to do with Hachette holding the rights to the book; they don’t like people putting up the book for free downloads. However, I’ve always been more concerned about the message getting out than the financial return on this book, so we are entering negotiations with Hachette to have the book returned to us so we can pursue these requests. Please pray we’ll be successful here.

What to make of all of this? I’m not sure. But it seems God is letting a whole new audience discover that book and its message. I’ve often said it is the most important book I’ll ever write because there’s nothing more critical than moving from an appeasement-based view of God to an affection-based relationship with him. He loves each of us more than anyone ever has or ever will, and when we come to discover that we’ll find ourselves on the journey of a lifetime, not only coming to rest in his goodness but also learning how that love begins to untwist sin, shame, and religious effort in us so that we can truly live as his people on the earth.

You can buy it in case lots at deep discounts here if you want to start a study on it or make it a Christmas gift to your friends.

As for me, my recovery continues to progress. I don’t have much back pain these days from surgery, so almost all recovered there, and I can manage a lot more things for myself. However, that also means we can ramp up the chemo drugs to higher doses, so we’ll have to see how that goes. I’ve felt pretty good the last couple of weeks, though, and have been able to get back to some writing and thinking that God is inviting me into. I’m grateful for that, though my endurance is somewhat limited. I do hope I can maintain that with these new drugs. Sara and I are thankful for all the love and support from so many of you at this time. God is at work, though not in the same way I would have hoped early on. That’s often true for all of us. He does know best, however, and when we trust him more than we trust our perceptions, the road gets less strenuous.

A Fresh Wave for He Loves Me Read More »

Taking Some Time to Heal

For all our best laid hopes and plans, it’s the things you don’t see coming that have the most profound impact in how life unfolds

Sara and I have a few detours thrown our way over our lifetimes, which has helped us to live feely in the present and not too dismayed when times turn a bit darker. Over the past few weeks, we have been caught in an ever-declining health situation that came on rapidly and will leaves it imprint for some time to come. I know most people don’t read this blog to hear about my health situation, and I don’t want to share all the details hear for the world to read. At the same time, I have a world of friendships and I just can’t keep up with all inquiries more personally.

I woke up on September 14th with severe pain in my back. I have had some back trouble from time to time, so that wasn’t a huge surprise, but as we prayed and sought treatment, the pain only increased to excruciating levels. Nothing seemed to slow it down, not an epidural, targeted injection, or physical. The scans we had didn’t unveil a cause worthy of the pain.

Nearly passing out from pain one day, Sara finally took me to the ER, early last week. During their rigorous tests they found a suspicious lesion on one of my vertebrae in the middle of my back. It was decomposing. The next day, I was on the operating table to remove the vertebrae for a biopsy, rebuild that part of my back and then fuse it to hold together.

The larger issue is what caused the deteriorating vertebrae. The biopsy has indicated multiple myeloma which is which is a cancer in the white blood cells. Fortunately, it is treatable, and the prognosis is good to manage this condition in the future. We’ll begin that today and hope that in the next two to three months we find the right combination of drugs to restrain this disease while my back heals from the very brutal surgery it just has endured.

So, quite quickly we entered a new season of our journey, learning to embrace Jesus’s love, light, and healing in these new challenges. He has been part of all of this from the beginning, leading us by his goodness and putting together the medical team we needed. We have no idea how long this stretch of our journey might demand all of us, whether it will be a few weeks, months, or longer. That’s not in our hands. It could also just go away tomorrow. We are not looking forward any of it, but we’re not afraid of it either. God works some of his special triumphs out of desperate situations.

We managed to return home Wednesday after my eight-day hospital stay. What’s evident now is that this medical battle ahead of us is going to take significant time and energy. It takes almost all we have each day just to get work though my treatment demands and navigate the pain. Recovery has already been arduous with pain and complications. Who’s to say what the next days and weeks will contain?

It is obvious now that this medical need is going to take almost all our time, energy, and resource for the foreseeable future. Thus, I’m going to be taking a leave of absence from writing, email, and podcasting as I give my full attention to what my body needs. We’ve tossed all our plans into the wind and we trust that God will show us the way forward.

How are our hearts through all of these? They’re great, well-covered by Jesus and his love for us. We are both so glad we have each other to lean on at a time like this. Our faith in the Lord stands resolute, confident that in his ability to work good out of tragic circumstances, and that pain is only another lens to see his beauty in the word.

We appreciate your prayers, concerns, and friendship. We will also appreciate your patience as we need to expend our resources closer to home these days. I know most people don’t read this blog for updates on our personal needs, but it is also true that Sara and I have a family that covers the whole world. So, we will provide some updates here in general terms. Our internet/messaging load is already greater than we can keep up with.

We are taking this one day at a time. We could wake up tomorrow completely healed and that may allow us to get back to those things God has asked of us. Or, that my happen over a few months. At this point and we are making no assumptions. We wake up each morning seeing what he has before us and what we need to do that day to deal with our circumstances and still find ways to put his love in the world. Sara has been a rock through this season in caring for me as well as sorting through all the medical information. She will need continued strength, rest, and joy to hold her. Please pray for her.

In the end, nothing has changed. Every day, every breath is in his hands, no more today than it was before all this began. We are confident that he has a way through this and that we will be here to accomplish his purpose for us in the earth. So, I guess we’re on a new journey together not just Sara and me but the Lifestream and God Journey families. So, buckle up. Let’s see how God glorifies himself here and anticipate with gratitude his power to do all things well.

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Oops again!

I am really embarrassed to say that the God Journey After-Show we had scheduled with Tobie van der Westhuizen from South Africa next weekend has had to be delayed another week. He informed me yesterday that he had an irresolvable scheduling conflict that would prevent him from joining us that day. He was profoundly sorry and asked if we could move the session to September 28.

I know. That does seem a long way off, but it will give you three more podcasts exploring my conversation with him.

Tobie is our current guest at The God Journey in a series of podcasts exploring the idea that a mistranslation in our English Bibles replaced the word for justice with the word righteousness and, by doing so, has obscured the nature of a love-based Gospel and how the kingdom of God becomes visible in the world.  If you’re not up-to-date on this conversation, please see my blog on September 5 and the podcast series that began on September 5.  We had planned to meet with Tobie in a live Zoom chat next Saturday, September 21.

So, now the After-Show with Tobie will be held on September 28, 2024. It will stream live on The God Journey Facebook page at 11:00 am Pacific Daylight Time and be available afterward for those who want to hear it. If you’d like to participate in the Zoom room conversation, please email Wayne in advance to get the link. I’ve sent an updated link for those who have already emailed me, but the one previously sent will work as well.

I’m sorry to do this to you, but perhaps such things remind us all that flexibility is a helpful tool to navigate the shifting circumstances that affect our lives. I’m looking forward to seeing many of you on the 28th.

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As to Kenya, we sent another $10,250.00 to complete work on rescuing the orphanage buildings and grounds and need an additional $6,000.00. Every little bit helps us get to our goal.  If you can help us, please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. As always, every dollar you send goes directly to Kenya. We do not take out any administration or transfer fees for Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the options or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to “@LifestreamMinistries” or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

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