Wayne Jacobsen

I received the following letter yesterday after the author had read So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. As with many people it seemed to fill in some piecing pieces in his own journey. I’m really touched when I hear from people like this who began with a taste of goodness, got sidetracked into the barren wasteland of religious performance, and then come to discover that God’s life has always been there for them.

This is the story of James Gray and I reprint it here with his permission and in hopes that it will encourage others who down deep inside wonder if there must be something more to all of this:

(I started out as) a little boy of seven trying to answer the meaning of my existence in Christ (and) the cultural answers left me empty to say the least.

I tried everything to quench the gnawing inside of my being. I spent many years in foreign countries preaching and teaching in villages no knew existed. I was told after working for the cash and then going into these foreign lands for years I needed to start an organization, and let people pay the bill. After that happened the joy of my Christian walk lessened with everyday. So I pioneered a church and it grew. But the more it grew the emptier I became.

I was told to start a ministry. Hungry for the fullness I had experienced, I did that but it only left me more saddened. Soon I found myself surrounded by men with answers but lifestyles that didn’t seem to have an abundance of Christ, to say the least. After all this time I endured many years of exhaustion trying to get back to my beginning. I didn’t have an inkling of where to go or what I had lost. I felt guilty for making mistakes and (because of ) my questions about where is Christ, I was branded by other pastors as a anarchist. Out of guilt I quit what I thought the ministry was and went into what some call the wilderness. That was 1980. I picked up (some) answers along the journey, but when I brought my heart questions up, I was banished from what I thought was the body, which only heaped on more guilt. I really thought over the last 26 years I lived on an island. Many came to the Lord during this time just out of my questions but soon dropped by the way side through time due to what they endured years later.

During my years prior to becoming culturally organized I held mass crusades taught me by the best in Christian circles. It was hard to abandon the new ones. I told so many it was like giving birth and telling them to go to the orphanage of their choice. Because of the numbers of hands raised and televised, when I walked away it was said by my teachers, which used numbers as a thermometer, that I was abandoning the new ones. Some preached that I didn’t care for the lost.

On the contrary how can you give birth to a newborn and leave them in the fields to raise themselves? Or put them in churches that don’t know their names or their wounds? So you see, my brother, this book became a great tool for me to answer questions where others only heaped baggage when I asked them why? Sometimes the why is a God kiss, but so hard to answer. It takes so many years and there are so many pieces to the answer.

I was like I had a puzzle container with the picture of what it was supposed to look like on the front, but so many of the pieces were missing. Thanks for the lost pieces. It means more than you’ll ever know.
There was a great price to pay for my decisions to find Jesus, especially when he is not where you think to look. The price which was great was worth the wait, and the price. My appetite would only be satisfied by him. I read your book several months ago and waited if life would grow. That is one of the keys if it is God it grows after you eat it.

When I was a little boy my father took me to an old kitchen in the south where he worked as a young man. He had me taste the barbecue of an old, black gentleman. It was the best food ever made. That was my standard for barbecue. So for 4 days while on our way home I would see a barbecue restaurant sign and ask my dad if we could stop and have some more of that great food. My dad said, son trust me it’s not the same if we stop we just loose time and leave disappointed. In the beginning I tasted Christ and thought I would stop at the signs and taste only to find it doesn’t taste the same as it did the first time I sampled him. The vast freedom flavor is so sweet, and I don’t stop at every restaurant. I think I know what Christ taste like now as well as what he doesn’t.

Thanks again, my brother, I haven’t found all of the pieces yet, but now since the major parts have been placed in the picture the smaller parts will fall into place organically.

In this landscape of religious activity, how many of us get caught up in doing things for God that don’t ever bear the fruit they promise? Jesus didn’t ask us to do things for God; he let us know that his Father wanted to live life with us. Once you taste of that, nothing will ever satisfy again, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, or others try to pressure you that what you’re hungering for does not exist. But the heart knows better. It keeps beckoning us on to find him through all the clutter and let him pour into our lives the life that really is life!

You know it’s there. You’ve tasted it before. Don’t let the substitutes convince you that they are good enough. They’re not.

That’s what Jesus promised—all of us!

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

The Declaration of Independence is truly one of the most amazing documents ever penned by humankind. To think that 56 men from 13 colonies with all the differences between them could come together and agree to sign their names to a statement that could have most likely resulted in all of them being executed for treason by the British Crown is almost unthinkable in our day.

The words they published are so commonplace now, we forget how much they truly pushed the historic envelope of human dealings and in fact, how much they still do. The defining paradigm of culture prior to 1776 was the divine right of kings. Those who had by money and power vanquished more helpless people divided the world into haves and have-nots—royalty and serfs. Your station in life was mostly determined by birth.

The idea that all of us are created equal on the planet was virtually unknown, and certainly not even believed by the men who signed that Declaration. By “all men”, they only meant those who were white, Anglo-Saxon, male, Protestant landowners. Even in ensuing decades they never considered their ideals to the native Americans they lied to and pillaged, the slaves many of them owned and exploited, or the women they claimed to love.

Yet, our understanding of all of us being created equal in the eyes of God is a close to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the way he treated people as any other summary statement. He offered to everyone without reservation the same love and light be they exposed sinner, Pharisee, king or Roman governor. This gospel was for every person, with no distinction, no favoritism, no lording over another human being. And that reality is still finding its way into human culture even at the beginning of the 21st Century.

At least in government the divine right of royalty is succumbing to the forces of freedom almost all over the world. Except for some figurehead monarchies in Europe and some Middle Eastern and South American dictators, the notion that some people are born to privilege and leadership has largely been discredited in the world. Interestingly enough the only place the royalty/serf distinction still carries any weight is in the clergy/laity disparity in our religious institutions. And in some older (and newer) incarnations the clergy even have the audacity to dress and act like royalty. How sad is that?

Isn’t it interesting that in most significant cultural shifts recognizing the equality of people, the impetus has rarely come from those who most claim to understand Jesus’ message or his example? It shows how little they do. Freedom is an easy term to throw around conceptually, but its real power doesn’t describe a governmental form, but a understanding of people that invites us to treat them differently. Every human being merits the same respect and opportunity as any other. When we lose sight of that, we can excuse our calloused and cold lives toward the needs of others.

So, actually July 4 is one of my favorite holidays not so much for the country it began, but for the revolution of thought it represented. For the first time in human history statesmen recognized what Jesus said in Matthew 23. “You have one Father and you all brothers and sisters.” That’s the way to live. That’s how Jesus shapes us in his reality. It is true of everyone around you. No one deserves to lord over another, and no one deserves to suffer at the hands of those more powerful.

And that is not yet true, even in America. There are a class of Americans—government leaders, the rich, and celebrities in the arts—who consider themselves above the rest of us and above the rules of respect that govern a free society. It has never been more evident than the last few decades where people of privilege and power reassert their control over the culture. How many powerful politicians have been exposed as moral frauds? How quickly did our Congress and presidents crawl into bed with the fortune hunters on Wall Street who were willing to secure their fortunes by looting the trust of common folks.

The economic disaster we’re in was not the result of an economic downturn. It was completely manufactured by dishonest men and women who thought they could benefit at their fellow-citizens’ expense. Our government has done anything to restrain that and simply threw more money at them and loot our grandchildren’s futures as well. This is not freedom. It is the tyranny of the wealthy over the powerless who have no lobby in Washington, no ability to buy the influence they they think they deserve. And instead of calling them on the carpet for betraying the public trust, most people only look to find their ladder to power and influence as well, willing to walk over anyone to get their piece of the pie.

When I see the celebrity adulation in this country, whether it be of American Idol singers, famous authors or even in moments like the death of Michael Jackson, I realize that we still have our own version of royalty in America. No, it’s not the divine right of kings, but the idolatry of fame. When I saw people enraptured in the presence of someone they think famous as they seek to live vicariously through the life of another, it only affirms how sick our culture is. To think someone is a better human being because they sing well, play sports well, or write well flies in the face of the Gospel itself. We have royalty now because we create it ourselves an ungodly heritage of a media and culture fascinated by fame and seeking it themselves, instead of dismantling its illusion at every opportunity.

All men and women are created equal. The words roll of the tongue with ease, but the reality is much more difficult to embrace. We are all the same in Father’s eyes and everyone who crosses our path on a given day is as significant as the next. Each has a story to tell, a life to share, and a hope to encourage.

Lose sight of that and you’ve lost sight of the most blessed truth of the American revolution.

Someone reminded me of this sign today posted on the way of Shishu Bhavan, a children’s home in Calcutta. I quoted it in the front of Authentic Relationships, a book I wrote with my brother, Clay a few years back.

I really needed to hear these words again today. Maybe the will re-inspire some of you as well. Our actions are not about the outcomes we desire. Someone can completely destroy or repudiate a gift of kindness or an attempt to serve. This poem is about living with love and grace in a world filled with self-interest, that can easily treat our love with contempt. Love anyway!

Anyway

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

Just found out that Charisma’s website ran a column I wrote a few weeks ago. It is called the Fatherless Epidemic. Read more here.

Back from an awesome Oklahoma Trip where I spent two days at a Because of Jesus Conference, and then two more days with the Transformed by Christ bunch in Edmond. In both places I talked about Living Loved and how that frees us from fear, guilt and shame. Up the road, I’m going to post one of the audios that really seems to resonate with people who are trying to sort out the difference between what Jesus does to make this journey work, and what my part is. But that’s another day.

Just thought I’d let you all know that Crosswalk.com just posted a column I wrote for Father’s Day drawn from the Parable of the Incredible Father, which many people call the Prodigal Son. Father’s day isn’t always a blessing for those who have had horrible experiences with abusive or absent fathers, or even are living in troubled relationships with their own kids. So Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and families out there who are celebrating the joy of that relationship, and my thoughts and prayers are with those for whom this weekend only refreshes some pain. May you know that in spite of the failings of your earthly dad, you have a Heavenly Dad who loves you more than anyone on this planet ever has or ever will! He will be the Father to you no one else could ever be!

And for those who want to improve their parenting skills, this morning I also posted the first of a two-part podcast with Danny and Sheri Silk at The God Journey, about loving our kids on purpose. I blogged about Danny’s book, Loving Our Kids on Purpose, a few months ago and I think this podcast will really encourage people who are wanting to discover how grace and relationship impacts discipline. What we share there not only applies to parent/child relationships, but all relationships, including yours with the Heavenly Dad!

Sara and I just finished one of our best vacations ever, enjoying the island of Hawaii with our daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren. We spent a lot of time just to rest, refresh and recreate together. We enjoyed hanging out with the family and playing with the grandgirls while we snorkeled, played on the beach, read and ate. It was fabulous. And while we were there I got to experience two of the most awe-inspiring moments of my life in God’s creation.

One evening my daughter, son-in-law and I went snorkeling in Keahou Bay with 12-14 foot-long manta rays. We held onto a bar that projected lights into the ocean, which drew plankton. The plankton were like a buffet line for the manta rays as they came to feed. We were out there for over an hour as these gentle giants would glide through the ocean, curving, swerving and flipping over right next to us. They would approach with their huge mouths extended to sweep in the plankton and then curve right along your chest, at times even bumping into us. It was breath-taking to be so close to something so large and so wild.

On another night Sara and I took a light plane flight over to the volcanic region of the island. It turned out to be what the pilot called his best flight ever. We looked down the throat of the caldera, to three hundred feet below the surface, to molten magma bubbling and spewing up from the earth’s core. Then a few miles later we found a break out in the lava tube that spilled lava down the hillside in rivers of fire. We circled it for a long time and watched the newest land on earth being created.

But now we’re back home, at least for a few days. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by our office being closed the last couple of weeks, but we are catching up. And, since Brad is in Nashville Sara joined me for the next podcast, which will air this Friday. Also, Forbes finally did the article about THE SHACK, though its focus was more than disappointing.

On Thursday, I’m off to Tulsa and Edmund, OK to see what God has in mind with believers there. I’m teaching at a Because of Jesus Fearless conference Friday and Saturday in Oklahoma, a fellowship in Tulsa Sunday morning and a Livin’ Loved conference in Edmund on Monday and Tuesday nights. (You can use this link, but you need to type in ‘waynejacobsen’ for the password.) After that it is on to Oregon, Colorado and Michigan in July and possibly Toronto and Maine in August.

And somewhere through all of that I hope to get some more writing done.

If there’s not enough of me to listen to already, I spoke last week in Madison, Wisconsin about growing in the love of the Father, to a group of folks who have been reading He Loves Me. It was recorded, so if you want to hear any of that you can download it here. I think you’ll recognize my name even though they spelled it wrong.

Two weeks before I was near Anderson, Indiana and did an interview with a pastor whose congregation has also been reading He Loves Me and So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. You can hear the. interview at Ovid Community Church here.

Also, I was interviewed by Forbes magazine a couple of weeks ago (as was Paul and Brad) about the publishing phenomenon behind The Shack. It was an interesting interview and the reporter seemed to keep coming back to the fact that we haven’t done all the things normal publishers do to maximize their profit. It’s supposed to be in their June 8 issue, which is the one-year anniversary of The Shack appearing as number one on the NY Times Bestseller List. I’m not sure if that’s going to be an how-did-these-idiots-not-exploit-this-work-for-all-they-could, or here’s-what-it’s-like-when-people-are-passionate-about-a-mission-instead-of-serving-mammon. It should be interesting. (Note added later: Just checked the June 8 issue at the airport and it’s not in there. Maybe it will be in the June 15 issue?)

All is going quiet here for a season. Sara and I are getting away for a much-anticipated, two-week vacation with my daughter and her family. We have been looking forward to this time of rest and refreshing. Unfortunately, since we are the only two people who keep things going around here, that will also mean we need to close our office for the next two weeks. We will have someone process orders every few days during that time, so your order can be fulfilled, but may be delayed. Also, we will not be keeping up with phone calls and emails during that time. If you can possibly wait to get hold of us until after June 8, we would appreciate you waiting until then. I don’t plan on updating the blog during this time unless something major arises. I am sorry for any inconvenience this causes for the many people who frequent this site, but we are long due for some time off. Thank you for your patience and consideration for our family during this brief break.

I am finishing up a trip into Wisconsin over the weekend, and will return home tomorrow. Jesus has hungry people everywhere who are no longer satisfied with the religious conventions that seek to substitute for our own relationship with him. They are crying out for more reality in their relationship with him and more authenticity in their relationship with others, both believers and those who have yet to come to know him. It’s pretty awesome. I love what God is stirring in his people all over the world.

I also wanted to announce that we have just completed a major overhaul of our Lifestream website to make it more functional for the numbers of people visiting us these days. It was just released over the weekend and I think we have most of the bugs all worked out. If you find anything that doesn’t quite work right, please let us know.

Mostly everything is in the same place, but the navigation and look are much cleaner and simpler. So, if you haven’t visited in a while, come to our ‘open house’ and have a look around. There’s lots of free stuff to read and listen to, and our hope is that it will encourage you on the incredible journey of living solidly in the love of the Father, and discovering the joy of loving others the same way we are loved.

Most depictions of God in art throughout church history have imagined a distant and exalted older man, often with a look of anger in his eye. Interestingly enough, most depictions of Jesus (except when he is clearing the temple), show him in softer and more compassionate moments. If Jesus was the exact representation of the Father’s nature, why do so many people see their demeanor so differently.

Most images I had of God growing up were scary. They were never engaging or inviting. Jesus, was the good guy. He’d fixed things with Father, or so I was told, but that didn’t make him any less scary. If I was going to be around God, I wanted to be hiding behind Jesus’ robes.

Paul, however, had no such image of God. He understood that the cross fundamentally changed how we get to view God—no longer as terrifying judge, but now for who he really is, Abba Father. “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15) As I’ve said many times, Abba is the safe connection a little child has with his or her dad.

After our Mother’s Day family get-together, my daughter sent me this picture. I don’t know when she took it. It’s a tender moment between my granddaughter, Aimee, and me. When I saw it, my heart leapt, not only because I loved having that moment captured in a photo, but because it drew me to think of my own relationship with God the Father. This picture screams Abba, even though I’m not really her dad! This is the image Jesus died to secure in our hearts—Father’s lap is the safest place for us to be, even at our most broken.

When you consider God’s demeanor toward you, I hope you something like the image below in mind, rather than the one above. If not, there’s more work for his Spirit to do in you. And I pray he does it.