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I got this email the other day and in answering it felt I should let a few others look over my shoulder. I know he is not alone in his concern and perhaps others will be encouraged by this exchange:

Over the past year my wife and I have had some close friends go into deep funks in which they won’t return phone calls, emails, etc. These are folks we have known for some time and fellowshipped with on a pretty regular basis. Each situation is independent of the others and in all cases no one seems to be currently having any relationship with Jesus and are instead showing signs of addictions, depression or…well, funk. Over the past year we have both repeatedly left voice messages and sent emails but have received virtually no response from any one except one who has simply said she would rather feel numb right now than deal with her life.
 
I know that Father has called, or maybe better put, wired me to pastor. I know what that doesn’t mean but I guess maybe I’m struggling a bit with what it does mean. Over the years I (we) have tried hard to simply be friends with people and have positioned ourselves to be in the messes and struggles with them and not control them. We have offered help and input as we were led but steered clear of controlling people or distancing ourselves if they chose not to take our help. 
 
I know this isn’t the end but rather a season and nothing but nothing can separate them from the love of Father. I’m not sure what my question is but hope you can hear my heart and what I am trying to express. I feel like I could have/should have done more for these friends and that I still should. I understand the old saying, “you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink and if you force him to drink it’s called drowning.” But I can’t help but wonder if I had been more authoritative they would all be in a better place right now. As painful as these situations have been for Kim when I express this to her she thinks I’m nuts.

Honestly, I’m with your wife on this. 😉

I’ve had it on my heart of late to spend more time with people who want to help others live loved, than just spending time with folks who want to live loved. I think people have lost all sense of what a true pastor or elder is—someone who knows how to help and encourage others to live inside a relationship with Father in a growing journey of learning to live in his love and share that with others. Your note seems to be a further nudge that direction. I’m not sure how that will work yet, but I know people all over the world who are really gifted as pastors and elders, not in the traditional sense but in the Biblical sense, but simply are unsure how to do it relationally. Without the position, title, or job description they seem to drift aimlessly unsure how to really help others. I want to spend time with people like that, those who are already learning to live inside Father’s love for themselves, and now want to find creative ways to help others. But that’s something God is going to have to show us how to do going forward.

That said, one of the worst things we do to ourselves is second-guess what we could or should have done or said, especially when we are feeling responsible for how someone else is responding. This would have killed Jesus, I’m sure, long before he got to the cross. He invited people to the kingdom, and he didn’t seem to get too freaked out when people missed the open door, and wandered off to spend more time in their self-effort or religious performance. Paul didn’t either. If people weren’t listening yet it was because their eyes were veiled and they weren’t ready to see. Neither of them blamed themselves for not being more authoritarian. The kingdom is an invitation for the hungry not a demand on the complacent. As sad as it is, some times people just need to stew in their mess a bit longer.

Sure an authoritative approach might have gotten them to conform their outward behavior to please you, but the inner life would have been more at risk. Thinking they are doing OK by how they look on the outside, they wouldn’t be dealing with the reality of their mess on the inside. Freedom is all about letting people live inside their choices, even when those choices are hurtful to themselves and others. You can always be lovingly, honest with them, helping them see a better way as God gives us insight and grace. But you’ll come to recognize those who are hungry and want your help, and those who aren’t ready yet and shy away. Don’t think that’s a bad thing. Keep praying and keep loving without badgering them. When they are ready to find healing and life in Jesus, they will fight their way through every obstacle to embrace it.

Perhaps the most difficult part of loving is letting others have the very freedom they are using to destroy themselves. I see the Father of the prodigal son doing exactly that. I’ll give you the freedom to ruin your life, in hopes that the ruin will invite you back to me! That’s more painful loving than the euphoria of welcoming them home when they come.

So don’t be too hard on yourself, Bro! If being more authoritarian wins the day, then I’m not sure you haven’t lost the greater prize for them and you.

Over the last two years I have often written on these pages about the incredible need of the Kenyans God put us in touch with four years ago. Two years ago their country was wracked by violence after a disputed election. Tens of thousands of people were killed in the region of Kenya where we visited. I know there is great need all over the world, but I am convinced this is a corner of the world where God has given us relationship and influence and is asking us to love these people well.

If you haven’t read my blogs on Kenya, feel free to use the Google search window on the front page at Lifestream. Type in Kenya, and it will bring up all the blogs I’ve written about it. Or, you can just scan down the most recent ones below. You can also listen to the podcast Brad and I did last week about my trip there with some audio I taped over there with our hosts and my traveling partner. Also, the new podcast that will air this Friday (3/12) will continue with some conversation about Kenya and how some of us might be a blessing to these believers.

The people Kent and I spent our time with in my most recent trip to Kenya have a heart for those who were left without husbands and without parents. They run 19 different orphanages encompassing about 70 children, some of those in their own homes. They also provide care and support for widows and help finding a job they can do to help provide for themselves. Michael Wafula, our host there is as genuine a man as I’ve ever met. He spends his life encouraging people on a God Journey and caring for others.

We have started a new page at Lifestream to help direct resources to that area of the world in two different ministries that we have supported ourselves over the last few years. If you don’t have contacts elsewhere in the world and are looking for a place to share some money with people who have almost nothing, we would invite you to join with us. We don’t take out any administrative fees with this money. Every dollar you give will go to benefit the people you want to bless.

One project we mentioned with Michael when we were there was to get him a more dependable car. He travels all over Kenya and to Burundi, Rwanda, Uganda and other countries in the region, helping to encourage those who are sharing the gospel and caring for others. The car they have know barely works. Parts were falling off of it as we drove around and they travel with a mechanic to keep things running. Once they spent two days living out of the car in a remote region because it broke down and they didn’t have the money to procure parts.

I asked him when we were there what a better car would cost him, telling him I’d like to see if others here would help. I would love it of The God Journey and the Lifestream audience could help buy him a better vehicle. He just wrote me this morning to tell me a friend of his has to sell his nearly-new Land Cruiser and would sell it to Michael for $15,500.00 US. I would love to see us help him find a way to get a more dependable vehicle as he goes about encouraging others and helping manage the orphanages in that region.

Here is the old car we’d like to replace. This was one of many times we saw it hood up
with the mechanic trying to repair it so we could get on. On one rough road the muffler
fell off and the car behind us stopped to pick it up. I’m blessed that they’ve made do
with this for so long, but would love to see it replaced with something far more dependable.

If you’d like to help us purchase them a car, or donate to the widows and orphans of Kenya, please see our new Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries  • 1560-1 Newbury Rd #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thanks for your consideration of these people. Please feel no obligation to help, nor give out of any speck of guilt. We know that many of you are in dire financial straits these days yourselves or are already helping in other places of the world. Paul encouraged us to give out of generosity (2 Corinthians 8-9). If you have an abundance now, freely share with those in need. If you are in need now, God has ways to provide for you too, and I pray that he does!

What a sad, but enlightening statement. . This came to me in an email last week. I know not ever congregation is like this, but way too many are:

So, that brings us to now: we are both at a point where we are really realizing the emptiness of the church we are in. We have not heard one sermon in our 4 years of being there about the heart of God, the character of Jesus, abiding in Christ, or really walking in Him and the life that can be found in Him. It’s all about how we can change our world, impact those around us, the need to walk in the spiritual disciplines, etc…

(These are) all good things, but it’s like asking a tree to produce fruit with no root and soil.

So for two firstborn, overachievers, more performance-based preaching actually feels like weed killer on the little seeds God is trying to grow in our hearts. But we’ve had a hard time making the break from the church, and at times feel a bit crazy for even thinking about doing so, because of the friends and involvement we’ve had. However, what we keep coming back to is the joy, life, and love we’ve both been experiencing in a way that 20 years of living in the Christian community has never brought us and that our effort to follow Jesus with all our hearts has never brought us.

Staying for friends is one of the best motives for hanging in there. But if the seeds of your hear are being consumed by the performance-based environment, then that isn’t even a good way to love them. In time it only traps people in the same emptiness. But find your life in him, and there’s no telling where he might lead you and you can keep on loving your friends in the meantime and still seek out relational time with them.

The problem with institutionalizing life, is that the life gets killed. I love that people are finding the courage to look beyond the emptiness of religion and making the choice to find life instead of staying safe. It is a choice we all have faced or will face in time.

Kent and I are at the airport waiting for our departure. What a trip this has been! We’re excited to get home to our families, but we leave some enduring memories and new friendships behind, as well as a piece of our hearts with the people of Kenya and the incredible challenges they face.

From Kitale we went to Butere for a four-day conference with people from the Western Region. We were told later that people from America don’t venture out into these places. You could tell by the faces of the people and the children that two white people were indeed oddities here.

Arriving at the conference site in Butere

Wayne sharing with the people at Butere

Kent didn’t do much sharing, but when he did the people really listened. Seeing a hair-dresser talk so freely about his journey and seeing his ministry as one-on-one with his clients really touched them.

It was an amazing time. The people came in deeply oppressed, expressionless, looking like they’d come to a funeral, or at least another person from America telling them how they were failing. But as Kent and I began to share about Father’s love we watched a miracle take place. Oppressed expressions gave way to skeptical looks, then to hope, and finally to embracing God’s love for them and they began to laugh, ask questions and celebrate a rich heritage they hadn’t realized was theirs.

We often has to stop the meetings because the rain pounding on the tin roof was so loud we couldn’t hear each other. That gave us time to engage people individually.

Answering questions and engaging people’s own journeys with God’s love.

Personal conversations during our rain breaks.

After our time at Butere, were off on the infamous Kenyan roads. What a terrifying adventure with really bad roads, speeding drivers, and the twists and turns to avoid potholes, pedestrians, and other traffic. Really crazy, but we had some superb drivers.

Old Faithful, the red car that took us all over the western region of Kenya. It is old and held together with bailing wire. We even had to stop to pick pieces of it up, and more than once it was parked by the side of the road with the hood up.

Standing on the Rock! Michael from West Pokot, Leonard, Wayne, and Kent at a stop by the side of the road on the way to Bongoma. No, we didn’t put that rock up there. We’re pretty sure God did, somehow!

We spent a few days in Bongoma, first a day-long training in a stone building with people from the region as well as Mt. Elgon where tribal violence was horrendous. Watching them struggle with God’s love and the hope of forgiveness in the midst of atrocity was quite a conversation.

This was actually a building under construction in Chewle, with a dirt floor and stone walls. It felt like first century Palestine. We met 60 orphans here and endured a lightning strike nearby that hit a transformer and exploded it.

Sunday we stayed at Michael Wafula’s compound where 22 orphans are living with his family. They wanted us to stay with them a few days. A number of believers came together for a Sunday gathering that was incredible in the way people were touched. A Moslem woman came in part way through to see what the commotion was about. She was just passing by. As she heard about Father’s love, she turned her heart to God. She told people later that she would never return to Mohammed, now that she found Jesus’ love for her. Then we had a late night discussion about God’s working and how the church in Kenya could reflect the Lord’s glory with greater freedom.

Michael Wafula, our incredible host for these days and a man who is embracing the abandonment of religion to help people really engage the love of the Father. He lives what he talks about and we were enriched by his life and his passion to provide homes for the fatherless and widows all over this region where tribal conflict has left so much devastation.

Monday was our last full day in Kenya. We traveled four hours to Eldoret. I spoke in two different places, a church that was devastated by the tribal violence two years ago and an orphanage in a slum. At the first place many had had friends and spouses die in the violence. They have so many displaced widows and children that they are trying to help find housing, find jobs or skills they can use to provide for themselves, and are supporting each other through the losses in their lives. Many of the people had their homes or business burned or confiscated. One told of people who ran to a church building near where they lived and the mob came, circled the building and threw petrol on it and started it on fire. Anyone who tried to flee was forced back in with machetes, and some children were thrown back in through the windows. Many pastors participated in this violence along with their tribe. The rule of law is thin here. Hundreds of people died within a couple of kilometers of where Kent and I slept last night and a week ago, tensions almost boiled over again.

After the service we visited an orphanage in a slum near here. Again, this was incredibly painful. 100 children whose parents died in the violent clashes and had no family to take them in. The conditions they live in are deplorable with open sewage in the back and mud four inches deep everywhere. The kids sang to us and quoted Scriptures and the staff begged for us to find people who would send money to build them finda a healthy place for these orphans to grow up. Also 25 women infected with HIV, many of them because they were raped during the melee by men who were infected. Some of their husbands had been murdered.

The orphan children at Eldoret singing and sharing with us while standing in the mud. They beamed with smiles and were so excited to see some white people among them. They begged for our help.

One little girl told a poem about not knowing who why her parents brought her into the world and then left here all alone. Who is she? Why is she here? Does anyone care? It was painful to watch. At the end the little girl broke down in tears. Two men standing next to me began to sob as well. One of them, my host on this trip sobbed. He turned to me and told me this same story is repeated all over his country. I was undone. My granddaughters had the good fortune to be borne in the US, and these were born in Kenya. They did nothing wrong to deserve their circumstances, and they certainly don’t need to live in the conditions they live in. But there are hundreds of these all over this part of Kenya. The need is overwhelming. Please pray for God to help them find adequate housing. If you have extra money to send, we can channel resources through Lifestream and put it straight at the need without any administrative expenses. See our How To Help page if God moves you to help. You can find a ‘Donate Now’ button at the bottom of the page. We will be sending additional funds here to help with so many needs.

This has been an amazing trip. The stories we’ve heard and seen of personal transformations as well as people exploring what it is to live loved in a land where people have been taught that suffering proves you haven’t done enough to earn God’s love and he is punishing you. We heard it as the ‘gospel of punishment’, which is really no gospel at all. In the midst of our worst moments is where God makes his love known, not when we’ve earned it. We can never earn it, and the moment we think we have is when we lose sight of mercy and try to live by our own efforts, something we don’t advise. We’ll talk more about Kenya, play some audio clips from here on The God Journey podcast next Friday.

Thanks to all of you who prayed for us and the people here. This was a truly remarkable season in Kent and my own spiritual journey. I’m sure we’ve not yet processed all that God wanted to show us in this. But we both come away with a greater compassion for the people of Kenya and the desperate circumstances that many of these people are in. Please keep praying. There is so much we can do to bless them out of our abundance, if God should lay it on your heart.

I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back here to do any further updates on Kenya. We have been overwhelmed with the work here and over the weekend was beyond Internet and electricity. We have just made a brief stop at an Internet connection. Your prayers have been most welcome. We’ve witnessed some extraordinary things, and when I get a chance I’ll post another blog with some photos. Tomorrow we begin our long journey home, with a flight to Nairobi, a brief meeting in the afternoon with some in this network, and then a late flight to Amsterdam and then home. We are exhausted here, but excited about our return home.f

Kenya is still going wonderfully well. We’ve been very busy the last couple of days getting started in Butere and I’ll try to write more in the next coupe of days.

But I wanted you to know we’ve released a new edition of BodyLife, our periodic newsletter to encourage people in the simply of living loved. The lead article of this issue is titled “How Do I… ?” and helps people think differently about trying to find a strategy for spiritual growth, fellowship, or finding their ministry outside the conventional ways we’ve been taught to think of those things. Whenever we are frustrated that God is not opening doors for us it might be a sign that we’re focused on the wrong doors. The kingdom grows in our heart through the organic reality of living loved and following him, not by finding the right strategy. You’ll also find the incredible letters we get from many of our readers who are also on some amazing journeys, as well as some new announcements of things going on around Lifestream.

Also I want to let you know that we have a new email notification service at Lifestream. If you want to be notified of new editions of BodyLife, receive other special news about what’s going on at Lifestream, including new publications and audio or video additions to the website, or if you want to be notified when I’m planning a trip to your area, you can sign up now for notifications. Please find out more at our sign-up page. If you’re signed up under our old system, we will be migrating you in, but if you want to sign up for additional features, please check it out.

All for now. I’ve got to get back to work here in Kenya!

What an amazing trip this has turned out to me! Each day in our conversations I’ve continued to invite people into a real love relationship with the Father and unraveling the knot of religious performance and ritual that robs us of that relationship. Father has simply invited us to live in the increasing revelation of his love and in so doing we find ourselves growing in a relationship with him that spills over in our loving him as well as loving others, both believers and unbelievers alike. That is all Jesus needs to spread his life in the world.

The real gospel of the kingdom is not best unveiled in the religious straightjackets that we’ve inherited over the last 2000 years. We continue to trade the joy and beauty of a relationship with the Father for a religion we called Christianity, tricked into thinking they are the same thing. As with most countries, religion is rampant in Kenya, but here it is more formally organized in hierarchies of apostles, archbishops, pastors, and elders who compete for influence and control. Unwittingly they subvert the headship of Jesus by taking his place in the lives of believers, rather than seeing their gifts merely as functions to help others learn to follow Jesus.

What has surprised me is that the people here have been so overwhelmingly enthusiastic in embracing this truth with a willingness to separate themselves from their religious practices. They are so hungry for a real relationship that they are willing to risk and repent of the status quo. I’m honestly shocked watching that process unfold. As I’m speaking I see looks of concern when I’m plowing new ground, and then watch the light bulbs come on as as they realize this really is what Jesus talked about We’ve plowed deeper here in the first week than I thought I would through the whole trip. God has touched so many with a passion to know him and let Jesus be the head of his church, instead of relying on human effort and authority.

What a really freak day today was! Kent wasn’t feeling well, so I went alone to a gathering of Christians in a slum. This was the poor of the poor, people whom God loves deeply. Also many of the people who had been to the conference came as well. The room was a crumbling brick structures with no doors or windows, just openings in the brick. It had a dirt floor and no electricity. Even driving in was a bit freaky because as the only white guy in that area the people were pointing at me and the children were screaming at each other to look. They wanted me to speak to them and God just opened up the heavens and poured out his love on them. I can’t even begin to explain what happened. It was Acts-like. As I spoke God’s glory fell in that makeshift meeting place. People began to weep as their hearts surged with the recognition that they had lost their sense of who he was in all their religious practices. Some of their sharings after were so rich with a change of heart and mind.

I said things I’ve never said before as God just opened up fresh insights into his grace. Writing about it now brings tears to my eyes. As I spoke, I found myself moving through the room and touching people and blessing them in the name of the Lord and speaking words of life and grace and love into their hearts. Little kids and old men responded with passion and joy. It was the most strangely, glorious meeting I’ve ever been involved in. God seem to put some very difficult things before them and they grasped them with joy. I know they don’t have a clue what the implications are of what God has begun, but I was wonderfully touched by these people and their raw openness to something so new to their thinking. It was awesome. And while I was sharing, a sheep appeared at the doorway next to me, peeking in to see what we were doing. Hilarious!

We have finished now in this section of Kenya and are moving further out into a more primitive environment with an even larger group of people. We’ll see what God does there. I am having a hard time, however, convincing them that what is happening is not the work of Wayne or his teachings; it is God pouring out himself on them. They continue to thank me and are begging me to come back for a longer time and do stadium events because so many people in Kenya have no idea about the Father’s love. I keep telling them that their hope is not in a man nor in a teaching, but in them letting Jesus teach them how loved they are by the Father and letting him come out of them.

Our exuberant welcome at the airport in Eldoret

Navigating the streets of Kitale.

Speaking in the Kitale meetings to people from all over this region and Uganda

Talking to some of the women about the violence they suffered during the tribal conflicts.

People fellowshipping during a break time outside the Kitale meetings

Who are those white boys in the center? A group shot of the Kitale meetings

The people gathered for our Sunday morning gathering

Children singing with joy, with the brothers from Uganda in the background

We finished the conference in Kitale this morning, and had excellent interactions with nearly 300 church leaders about living loved and loving others. By their questions and comments it was clear that God was giving them insight into these things even as many of them realized that this is a major shift in how their world understands God and that most people might prefer the illusion of safety religion gives, to the wild danger of living in the love of the Father. Man, I so remember being there.

But coming alive in these things is not a quick process. Remember, Paul spent 17 years out learning from God before he started teaching others how to live this journey. It must be something we live first before we can ever help others see it. But I greatly admire the faith and resolve with which these people live. They are not like many of our congregations at home that live for their own amusement. In the overwhelming need of the people, they give themselves away to care for the poor, the widows and the orphans. I am amazed at their heart for God, even if they have only known religious ways of applying it. Perhaps God will open a door.

Last night we met some brothers who drove up 9 hours to visit with Kent and I. Johnny and Kate Brooks from Texas are living full-time in Kenya running some orphanages and caring for the poor just as God’s people in the earth. They are not part of any mission and are not planting a church in the traditional sense. They are living out missions from a relational context, simply loving people freely, meeting whatever needs they can, and for those who want to know the God they love, they help equip them. Kent and I have corresponded with them through email, but this was the first chance we had to cross paths. Johnny came up with two of the brothers he works with and will be here the next couple of days. We love what they are doing and how the grace of God is touching Kenya through their lives. If you’re looking for something on the mission field to bless check out their website.

I love that so many of you are praying for us. Much appreciated. Thanks for the encouraging notes. If I don’t answer them at all, nor not real quickly, please know that our time here with email and with the Internet is very limited. Please be patient and if you can hold emails that need a response until I get home on March 4. Thanks….

Touring Nairobi on Day 1

Kent and I arrived Monday night and are settling in to our two-week visit to Kenya. We spent the first day getting to know some of the people that planned for our coming and mapping out what was ahead. Then they gave us a tour of Nairobi. That’s them above hanging out with me in the city center. Unfortunately Kent took the photo so he’s not in it.

Then we took a flight north to Eldoret, and then a three-hour, sixty-mile drive, that would be impossible to describe here) up to Kitale. Let’s just say it had its scary and risky moments with the traffic, a very rough road, the pedestrians and some malfunctioning equipment on the vehicle. Needless to say Kent and I had some great laughs.

Now we are in the middle of our first conference here in Kitale, and hundreds of their church leaders have come from all over Kenya and some from Uganda to hear about living loved. I am working through an interpreter, which is always a bit more difficult, but I think the message is getting through. Let’s say I’m seeing just about the right amount of people really excited to hear it and some who look like they are deeply concerned that I might be a heretic. The grace and freedom of love sure runs counter to our religious sensibilities and things we think we’re supposed to do for God. But the questions they are asking tell me they are sorting through it. I’m grateful for that.

Unfortunately we’re not having a lot of personal contact with the participants due to language barriers and the way this was set up to deal with some harsh realities of Kenyan life. But I think God is having his way in spite of the limitations. One highlight was hearing from a group of ladies who lost husbands in the tribal violence two years ago. They saw their husbands beheaded and then were forced to carry their husband’s head on a stick through the village. Unbelievable! They sang with passion and joy about the Lord Jesus and the power of forgiveness. The people those areas that were affected by violence are working to bring together people from both sides of the conflict and build relationships they hope will prevent this from happening again should the political coalition collapse. It is still a great concern in this region.

Internet availability is very difficult here. I’m not sure we’ll be able to post very often, so this may be it for awhile, and I don’t even know when I’m going to be near enough an Internet connection to post this. Pray for us if God brings us to mind. We know many of you already are, and we’re incredibly grateful. There is much that makes this trip extremely difficult and I think the enemy has had no small hand in some of what we’re dealing with in the details of this trip and some of the realities of this culture.

We were finally able to secure the audio from the marriage seminar that Sara and I conducted a few weeks ago in Pennsylvania, and have added it to the website for free download. The audio quality was not sufficient for us to print out CDs of this presentation, and we apologize for that. But for those who want to listen, they can find that sharing in our Audio Library.

Living Loved In Marriage

Wayne and Sara share from their 35 years of marriage and how they’ve found a way to grow closer together through the twists and turns of life and each other’s journey. I think many women (and men) will deeply benefit from the story behind Sara’s transition 15 years ago and how it has shaped our life since.

(Recorded at the Christian Life Center in New London, PA. The audio has some flaws in it, which are in the original master. We apologize for the problems, but knew many people wanted to hear us share this part of our journey. You can listen on-line by clicking the link below. Once there, you can also download the audio to your computer for listening later, if you so wish.)

Session #1: Only And Always: The Growing Endearment of a Life Live Loved
Session #2: Finding Our Way to Us: Unity Where We Don’t Agree

Listen to these sessions now