Wayne Jacobsen

Sara and I leave tomorrow for a trip to Stratford, Ontario where we’ll be spending a weekend with some new people to add to our journey. Though we’ve not met them before we are quite excited given our email contacts with some there and because they are good friends of some of our friends. After our weekend Sara and I will be going further north in Ontario to a quiet wooded valley for a much-desired week of rest and vacation together. So if I’m hard to get a hold of then, you’ll know why! And even when we return we’re going to continue on a bit of an extended break before Sara starts up at her high school in August. We’re looking forward to some time away and don’t look for many new postings here during that time.

For those Canadians further west, it looks like I’ll be in Alberta during the middle part of September. And the weekend of August 17-19, I’ll be up in the Tahoe area hanging out with some fellow-travelers as well!

I wish I’d had more time during this brief stay at home to put down more of my thoughts from my time in Ireland. I’m sure that will filter out in articles and blogs to come, but being home only a few days has only allowed me to keep some of the correspondence and paperwork at bay. It’s amazing all the stuff that has to be done just to keep available the resources we do. Our podcast at The God Journey for this Friday, July 20, will be all about the Ireland experience and include some recorded observations from others who were there. I think you’ll enjoy it. It will be called “Friends, and Friends of Friends”.

For some other perspectives of our time in Ireland, you can check out these two blogs from two others who participated and wrote of it: Stephan Vosloo of South Africa and David Fredrickson from Sacramento, CA.

We are so blessed at all the emails and comments we’re receiving on The Shack since it’s May 1 release. People from all over the world have been captured by this little book and we’re hearing it is being recommended in some incredible places. Eugene Peterson has recommended it in writing workshops, a former FBI profiler is recommending it to people who’ve lost children in traumatic events, counselors are recommending it to clients who are dealing with conflicts about God’s reality in the midst of tragedy, and a number of influential writers are also excited about the book and recommending to their readers. We have added distributors in the U.K. and will have one soon in South Africa. I’m so blessed that others are finding this book as rewarding and powerful as I did when I first read it.

This week we also launched our new Windblown Media website to handle distribution of that book and future reprints of my own. We are currently putting the finishing touches on a second edition of He Loves Me, since we’ve only got a few books left here from the first printing. If you want to check out the new cover design, click here. I’ve revised it a bit and added a new final chapter to help people who are captured by the message of the book, but unsure how that becomes real in their own life. We should have those available by September 1.

Here’s a quote from an email I received today… I love the focus of it, especially the concluding comment:

Three years ago we became facilitators for a home group in our church—this was the high point of our spiritual lives, so to speak. We have absolutely loved every minute of it. A few days ago the Lord said to step down and let another couple take over. I was heart broken.

I prayed and prayed, I cried, I asked God what could possibly replace this. One hour later a neighbor whose husband ran out on her came over devastated that she couldn’t pay her brother to cut her grass and her dogs wouldn’t go out to “potty.” I quickly told her I would be glad to do it. Afterwards, I told her we understood how tough things were for her and said that if she need to, she could talk to my wife. The poor thing just broke down crying and said thanks. Later while seeking God again, I asked what I was going to do after home group. It is like I could see Him smiling as he said, “You’ve already started what is next!” WOW! What a marvelous God.

I guess I was still looking for a ministry, but God called me to a relationship

Well, that about does it. I hope you’re getting some rest and relaxation in this summer if you’re in the northern hemisphere, and enduring a not too brutal winter if you’re down south! We are always blessed by the wonderful email we get from people who are on this journey, from experienced veterans and from those just starting out with a bit of trepidation at moving away from some comfortable forms with the disapproval of friends. May God grant us all the grace to keep our eye on him and live in the reality of his incredible affection for each of us.

I thought you’d enjoy this little email exchange because I meet a lot of people that are wrestling with the same unfolding realities that this sister is. I also love how she responded to my comments! The heart can so easily grasp what the mind finds hard to believe.

I have no idea where to start this email except to say, “Wow!” I found your website through a yahoo group and almost wanted to cry. The whole “don’t go to church, BE the church” has been what has been going on in my head for so long now – but I have felt helpless. For the last year we have been visiting church after church after church—stuck here in the “Bible belt” and wondering where Jesus is. What we have encountered over and over and over again is the church pushing political or social agendas as well as programs—even in the tiniest of churches.

I also had a conversation on Friday with a good friend. I was telling her how Christianity has become an industry. For evidence of this fact, you can walk into any “Christian” bookstore – and plop down $15 and leave with a book on any of a million topics that will basically boil down to a well laid-out plan to manipulate God into performing the way you want Him to.

I am coming undone. Everything seems to be splintering apart. I feel better that I have a little clarity – and can see it as a farce – but what now? What happens on Sunday? What do we do now?

Here’s how I answered her:

Nothing! Wake up tomorrow and ask Father to lead you. Stop doing those things you think you ‘should’ do and simply do what he asks of you by putting things in your heart. You may not hear anything for a while. Don’t panic. He’s working out some things inside you. But at some point you’ll begin to hear how he feels about you and there will be things he’ll put on your heart, some of which will be incredibly simple, like doing some menial thing that will touch another. And it will just grow on. Eventually you’ll meet some folks who love the same Father you love and want to live with him relationally and share life with you, and community will grow out of your love for him. It is the fruit of our life in him, not the source of it. He is the only source of life.

So, enjoy the adventure. There will be lots he’ll sort out in you and through you. You’ll live in him without guilt or fear, simply responding to him instead of all the expectations of others. It may be painful for awhile, because you’ve worked to earn their approval in the past, and they will not approve of your new-found freedom. Embrace it anyway. Live on in him. This is a lovely journey…

She responded:

Thanks so much. You’re right. Trust God to show up—without a formula, a format, a building, or a program. What a life changing philosophy, and so amazingly simple! It is almost hard to grasp.

There’s lots of movement now to get So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore out in a number of languages. The Russian translation was completed months ago and is now on the website. A few months ago we also posted the Dutch translation. Now we are beginning to add a Spanish Translation and you’ll find the first seven chapters now up on the web site. For links to all of those translations click here.

Also two European publishers have released this book in German and French versions. The German translation is using a new title, The Cry of the Wild Geese: Setting out For a Free Life in Christ Beyond Religion and Tradition. You can view the cover at left. This translation can be ordered from Glory World Publishers.

Also a card company in France has just produced a French translation of that story as well. You can view it’s cover on the right. It can be ordered from Editions-Promesses.

Dave and I are so blessed that this story has captured the hearts of so many people and that some wonderful people around the world have thought enough of the story to translate as a labor of love to let others read it in their native tongue. I pray that through these pages people will hear the cry of the Spirit that calls them into the full freedom of our inheritance as the redeemed sons and daughters of the Father of all!

Well, I got through Saturday, thanks to a ton of grace and, I’m sure, a lot of prayers and support from people like you. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us and for all the lovely emails and comments that were so encouraging.

It has been a most difficult week, especially following my return from Europe. Sara and I returned home last night and went to bed at 8:00. I don’t recall ever having been more mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted! But strangely Sara and I both felt full spiritually, knowing we had seen God’s hand unfold in some amazing ways and had completed the things he had asked us to do. It was hard to leave Louise, but we know God has others nearby to come alongside her when we can’t. Today was a day of rest and reconnection as we have simply vegged the entire day. It’s been wonderful and so desperately needed.

A week ago I was in a grassy field in Ireland with believers from all over the world celebrating an amazing week of sharing our relationship with God and finding new and growing relationships with each other. One week later I was back in my old hometown facilitating my best friend’s funeral. What I didn’t say in my earlier blog is that the funeral was held in the facility of the congregation I used to pastor before being unceremoniously resigned nearly 13 years ago. I find it fascinating how God brings things around full-circle, and thought my friend might have been smiling down at us in the irony of it all. But these people couldn’t have been more gracious in offering their facility and helping with all the arrangements.

I definitely felt strange standing behind a podium I had spoken from so many times before in more pleasant circumstances, looking out on faces of people with whom Sara and I used to share such rich fellowship and joyful laughter. Though some tragic circumstances years ago we got separated in our spiritual journeys. It took the death of a mutually loved brother to bring us back together for another moment in time. Perhaps something more enduring will result from this weekend. I certainly hope and pray so. We may not see ‘church’ the same way as they do, but the church Jesus builds does not depend on that. It simply results from people who will share honest and loving friendships together.

I am more and more convinced after my time in Ireland that the body of Christ takes expression as simply a network of friends, and the friends of those friends! I realize that may take more explanation at some point, but I’m way too tired today. It was wonderful even if for a weekend to connect with people that we had loved so much and had so often laid down our lives to serve. It would be a wonderful legacy of this weekend if some of those relationships were restored in Christ.

For if the death of our earthly brother could bring us together for a weekend, then wouldn’t it be true that the death of Jesus, our older brother, would be more than sufficient to bring us together for all time? Stay tuned!

I flew home from Europe just in time to help one of my closest friends cross the threshold of life in this age into the glory of Father’s house. After flying into LA late Sunday afternoon, Sara and I stopped at the house long enough to exchange luggage, get a bit of sleep and then headed to our hold home town 3 hours north of us. Paul Gutierrez was in the final stages of his battle with cancer at home with his wife, Louise. These two have been among our closest friends for the last couple of decades. I didn’t think he would live until I got home, but it seems he waited for me.

Sara and I were there only two hours before it became apparent the end was near. Father had put it on my heart to read Colossians to him from THE MESSAGE, which I did. Sara, Louise and Paul’s two sisters cried our way through it as his breathing slowed. So many of those verses spoke so clearly to what was going on in that room and in Father’s heart. As I ended his breathing slowed appreciably. I grabbed both of his arms, told him that we all loved him and commended him to the glory of the Father. A few short breaths later he stopped breathing and shortly after his pulse stopped. He stepped across the threshold to Eternity and has finally seen him face to face for whom our souls long. I am overjoyed for him and a future day when we will join him there.

But we cried and cried with Louise. She lost her husband of 30 years and Sara and I at least for the time being lost a very close friend. We are not as those who grieve without hope, but we still grieve. We just grieve with the hope that this is not the last word and though our parting is painful a more glorious reunion yet lies ahead. If my time in Ireland was even a fleeting taste of the relationships we’ll have in heaven, then that will be a grand day indeed!

For now, we will all be busy in the next few days helping with arrangements and planning Paul’s memorial gathering on Saturday that I’ve been asked to facilitate. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through that one.

It’s a bit of a whirlwind quite honestly. I usually come home from trips quite wasted and this was no exception. My body clock is way off and I haven’t had a long, deep night’s sleep yet. Exhaustion just hangs at the edges of my consciousness, but I pray God holds me together through this week and does some wonderful things in family and friends as we deal with Paul’s departure from this world. In the meantime I’m falling behind with everything else. Your patience and understanding will be greatly appreciated, as will your prayers….

Sorry, I’ve been too busy here in Ireland with dozens and dozens of conversations with people I love and too involved in an unfolding crisis at home to keep up with the blog here. It’s amazing how our days here have touched everyone so differently and opened their eyes to things God was doing in them at the same time he connected people that I’m sure will share lifetime relationships beyond international borders. Just simply amazing! I know there will be much more in a future podcast about it all.

I fly home tomorrow into the arms of the love of my life, for which I can’t wait. But also into jaws of trauma and pain that some of our dearest friends are going through. I’m not sure when I’ll update again, but your prayers, should God put us on your hearts would be most welcome.

I’ll leave you for now with this. I ran across this quote the other day in the manuscript of a friend. It describes an awesome place of freedom:

The pleasure of pride is like the pleasure of scratching. If there is an itch one does want to scratch; but it is much nicer to have neither the itch nor the scratch. As long as we have the itch of self-regard we shall want the pleasure of self-approval; but the happiest moments are those when we forget our precious selves and have neither but have everything else (God, our fellow humans, the garden and the sky) instead.

C.S. Lewis

Religion is trying to stop the scratching in the midst of the itch.

Life in Jesus is losing the itch so there is no desire to scratch.

And how do we lose the itch? Only as we come to recognize and live in the reality of Father’s love do all our itches fade away to nothingness. Ask him! He’ll show you!

I am smack in the middle of one of those moments in time when it seems the air is crystal clear and you get to see further down the road than you get to most days. Here in Ireland with brothers and sisters from all over the world, it is very easy to see how Jesus is knitting together his church throughout the whole world. And it isn’t through the organizations and institutions, which almost always do more to divide us than they do to bring us together, but with the simple power of growing friendships. Those of us who are here are getting to taste of the fruit of years and years of relationships that others have let Jesus develop among them.

Some have been at it with this bunch for 30 years or more, some 10 or 15 and some just showed up in the middle of a bunch of friends celebrating their life in Christ and jumped right in to participate in those relationships as well. So did it just happen? In one sense, it did! In another sense, however, this is the fruit of something he has been doing for some time as people following him have given themselves to the relationships Jesus provided for them. Connecting his body this way is not a quick process, but it’s fruit is awesome!

I can think of hundreds of people I wish were here and their probably hundreds of others who wish they were here. I can understand how powerful this would be for those who feel isolated and hunger for more Godly connections. But this is just one connecting point that is bringing together a lot of different pools of relationship. It is not the end of anything, but just part of an ongoing process of Jesus knitting his family together. Rarely does that process take on the expression it has here, but when it does it is the fruit of a work he has been doing for some time. Let me point out some bits of that process to you, that I see reflected in this occasion and which might put you at peace with where he has you in this process.

First, Connect with Jesus

It all begins here. Remember body life does not produce the life of Jesus, only Jesus does that. The church can never be our source of life, it is the fruit of that life being borne in us. Let your relationship with him grow. If you don’t know any others, just lean in close to him and keep your eyes open. He may just want you to himself for a time so that he is the only one you’ll be dependent on. In time he will begin to connect you in the simple joy of—

Twos and Threes

The heart of body life is not found in large gatherings, believe it or not. Just as Jesus said it is perhaps best expressed wherever two or three gathering in his name. That can happen by scheduling time to share a meal or an outing together, or it can happen just because you cross paths in a store and decide to hang back for a moment and enjoy each other’s company. Relationships grow best in small conversations where people just get to know each other. Trying to form groups is a poor substitute for this, and often they subvert the process of true relationships growing.

Those who’ve had a role to play in facilitating what is happening in Ireland are people who have given themselves to these kinds of relationships for years. They are not about building groups or fulfilling ministries, but simply letting God connect them with others and investing time in those relationships, whether it be over the Internet or face to face. In time those pools of twos and threes find themselves with—

Growing Connections

Someone once said you know you’re truly someone’s friend when they share their other friendships with you. There are some intersecting people here, who have helped bring their relationships alongside other relationships. What a glorious thing it is as God begins to let us see a network of friendships locally, regionally or globally that have interrelationships with each other! I love seeing some of my dear friends becoming friends with some other of my dear friends. They can sit down to a meal together, focus on some growth together or help others meet that will be of mutual benefit.

When I was in Bournemouth last week, I met a lovely young couple that had just immigrated to the UK from South Africa. They knew a couple I’d spent some time with in South Africa who in turn knew an elderly couple living near them outside London. They made that connection. That couple connected them with another young couple in Bournemouth who let them know I was coming a few weeks later. They came down to meet me as well as the couple in Bournemouth. This week I am in Ireland with the couple from South Africa who started it all and the elderly couple from London, whom I will introduce to you all in a future podcast. And the only reason I knew the family from South Africa, is because the people here in Ireland commended them to me when I was headed to South Africa. And that happened because in a trip long ago to the U.K. some Irish folks invited me to visit here. Do you hear the knitting needles bringing together—

The Wider Family

Now a hundred of us or more are spending some days together in Ireland representing about a dozen countries. Those from out of the area or staying in the homes of people here who have maintained contact with each other over 30 years without trying to manage an institution to tie them together, which is most probably why they are still together. We are spending a week together in and out of each other’s homes, one day meeting for a picnic and fellowship under a marquee in a field, and on another day jumping in a tour bus together and tasting a bit of the history and culture of this part of Ireland.

All along relationships are still connecting and growing. Even in these expressions of the wider family that encompasses the whole world, those moments of twos and threes or eights and tens are still where people really get to know each other as the family continues to grow. And threaded throughout those conversations is what Jesus is doing in our lives and what he has shown us of himself.

One can’t help but wonder how many other of these networked relationships scatter our globe, and how easy it will be for Jesus to connect them when he is ready. Only two people have to cross paths for separate bits of the family to connect. What a joy it is to be with people who have no desire to manage God’s working or to manipulate others with their pet theologies or need to control others for their desired outcome. Living loved and sharing that love is really more than enough to give expression to this incredibly family.

And it all begins when people simply connect with Jesus and learn to live in the reality of his love. As they give time and attention to those relationships he puts before them and the connections that follow will dazzle us all!

What a whirlwind through Europe! I’ve barely had time to keep up with email, much less post any blogs. But yesterday I arrived in the Irish countryside, and a day or so just to rest and catch up before others soon come to town. Over the next week a number of people from all over the world are coming to Ireland to spend time with each other and time with an amazing group of Irish believers in and around Dublin who have shared relational community for nearly 30 years. I hope to blog a bit about this if I have time, and if not I’ll fill folks in on future podcasts at The God Journey.

One of the joys of this trip, too, is that I’ve had a lot of wireless connections, so that Sara and me have had regular video chats via Skype. And last night I got to talk to and see y daughter and granddaughter as well. Wonderful! But right now, I’m sitting in my upstairs room in the countryside with a lovely view of green gardens and trees all around. It is quite peaceful and I’ve had a blessed morning connecting with Jesus, catching my breath and working on some backlogged computer things. And how I’ve needed that this morning!

The last week is a bit of a blur. Sometimes I cram too much into my schedule and last week might have been a good example. I was a night in London before coming down for three days in Bournemouth. Then I flew to Holland for two quick days and then back to Bournemouth for two more. Each day has been quite full whether I’ve been sharing with people, doing a bit of touring, or connecting to planes and trains. That’s me above on Wednesday morning seeing a bit of Amsterdam before flying back to the UK. Fred, a wonderful brother showed me the city. We even got a chance to take a boat through the canals and catch the beauty and flavor of the city. The day before I’d toured an old fortress in the Dutch countryside with some other people I met here. I even got to play around of golf in England. And all of that was filled with conversations about Jesus and his work in our lives. It’s all been grand, but it has finally caught up to me.

I have met with folks form all over the continuum of spiritual journeys, from those who wanted to defend their systems, to those freshly disillusioned, to those who are well on this journey learning to live deeply in God without all the bondage of religious obligation. I’ve enjoyed everyone I’ve met and we’ve wandered into some fascinating and sometimes hilarious conversations.

One of the themes that has been consistent in this trip that Jesus wants to show each of us how to follow him and disconnect our dependency of following another man’s methods or models. Whenever we are following a strategy, we are not following him. Whenever we look for someone else to tell us what we should be doing, we are not following him. When we try to implement a model of discipleship or church life, we are not following him. It’s not at the example and words of others can’t be helpful in sorting out our own journey, but they dare not become a substitute for the gift he has given us all to love him, listen to him, and to follow the Lamb wherever he goes.

But we do have 1800 years of Christian religious history that argues against that hope and freedom, convincing people to passively follow another, instead of learning to listen and follow him! Nothing more divides between religion and reality, than whether Jesus is the one we’re following, or whether we’re trying to find his life in an institution or another human being.

I pray you have an increasing hope in his ability to teach you how to follow him and to live deeply in his life while he takes shape in you!

We’re almost out of He Loves Me books so I spent the last month re-writing parts of the old one to prepare for an updated publication. I also wrote a new introduction and a new final chapter to help people get a more practical handle on how it is that they can begin a journey centered on the Father’s love.

We’re also designing a new cover and inside format. That is all being copy edited over the next few weeks and then we’ll go into production. Hopefully this one will have fewer errors in it than did the first one. The errors in the first one have always been an embarrassment to me. It resulted from a printing error on the part of the publisher. Though we had corrected it one final time, the wrong file ended up being sent to the printer, which meant there were 47 errors in the first edition.

When I discovered it, I wanted it reprinted to take out all of the errors. But that would have cost the typesetter significantly, one who could least afford to pay it. I felt at the time that God wanted me to just leave things as they were and that he would be honored in it. Part of that I know meant a bit of my own dying to have the book as perfect as it could be. I felt it every time someone wrote me to point out all of the errors. I always thanked them and went back through it again to make sure they didn’t catch anything we always caught. Some were quite upset about it, but I trust God worked through that, too. It must be hard for them to go through life always expecting perfection and being frustrated when they see mistakes her and there.

Despite that lesson, we’re paying a professional copy editor to get this one as right as we can. At least it won’t have the glaring mistakes of the old one. The new books should be ready about mid August, or so we hope. We also hope we have enough of the first edition to get us to August…

Also, in a few hours I head for the airport for an overnight flight to London. From there I’ll be spending 5 days in Bournemouth, UK, then fly over for two days in the Netherlands, then back for two final days in Bournemouth and then on June 22 I fly over to Dublin, Ireland for a 10 day stay.

So many folks have been in touch with me about this trip, that I am excited about the folks around Bournemouth where we’re going to talk about the cross. Then it’s on to Holland where I’ve never been before to meet some people I’ve only corresponded with on the Internet. In Dublin, 40 or so people from all over the world (Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, Zimbabwe, Europe, and the U.S.) who have been on this journey of living in Christ relationally have been drawn to come to Dublin about the same time to just hang out together and see what Father might show us. Many of these I’ve met before, though most haven’t met each other. I am excited about the things Jesus might show us while we’re together.

As always, your prayers are greatly appreciated. Also, your patience, since I never have as much time to keep up with email while I’m on the road.

For our morning readings Sara and I have been reading a book that came recommended to us. “What Jesus Meant” was written by Garry Wills, a Catholic who is Professor of History Emeritus at Northwestern University. I have mixed feelings about the book, but love what we read this morning.

Here are some quotes from his chapter on Heavenly reign:

(In reference to Jesus’ statement, “the first will be last and the last will be first:) The antihierarchical last sentence shows that the symbolic-prophetic meaning of the Twelve has nothing to do with church governance below. The biblical scholar John Meier concludes that Jesus gave his movement no authority structure.”

“But what of Peter? Did not Jesus found his church on Peter…? The Catholic scholar Raymond Brown wrote, “Peter never served as the bishop or local administrator of any church, Antioch and Rome included.”

The idea that Peter was given some special power that could be handed on to a successor runs into the problem that he had no successor. The idea that there is an ‘apostolic succession’ to Peter’s fictional episcopacy did not arise for several centuries at which time Peter and others were retrospectively called bishops of Rome to create an imagined succession.

Jesus said, “Where two or three are met together in my name, there I am in their midst: (Matt 18:20). Why do (any of us) met together in Jesus’ name need a bishop from Rome when they have Jesus in their midst?

He goes on to talk about Jesus’ establishing heaven’s reign on earth, not through our hierarchical religious institutions, but through the presence of the Risen Lord. Jesus equates heaven’s reign with his personal presence, and that in groups of twos and threes.

And all of this is from a Catholic! Amazing. I forget who recommended this book to me, and while it does have a few problems, it is as incisive a book about the life of Jesus as I’ve read. The presumptuous title aside, I think he does peel back a lot of the religious veneer we have laid over Christ and gets to the heart of why he came and what he wanted to instill in his people. I think I’ve enjoyed it more than Sara, but it is a good read.