Uncategorized

Tomorrow morning early Sara and I leave for New London, PA, to spend the weekend with a Presbyterian fellowship that has been reading some of my books and wanted me to visit. This is not my usual venue, to be sure, but their hunger drew our hearts to spend some time with them. We’ll be doing a Friday night conversation, a marriage seminar on Saturday, and then sharing Sunday morning. Lots of folks from other places are joining in, including a couple flying in from Spain. Should be an interesting weekend.

As I go, I wanted to leave you with this. I received this email yesterday, and talk about an email that can make an entire day, this is it! I’m thrilled at how this young lady has responded to the books, and even more grateful that they helped rescue her from sliding into the hard legalism of religious obligation. I’ve withheld her name and location because of her age, but how could anyone not be touched by God’s working in this young life.

It reminded me of an email I got some years ago from a man reading He Loves Me to his ninety year-old father on his death bed. He told me that his father came to understand the Father’s love one hour before he slipped into eternity. All if it makes me rejoice that God is making his heart known to all of us—from the youngest to the oldest.

Hi, I’m 13 years old. I want to thank you soooooooo much for your books, He Loves Me! and So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore, and especially for He Loves Me! It’s the most awesome book EVER! A good friend of mine said it was a good book, a really good book, then gave it to me in ’09 for Christmas. I thought I would read it every once-in-a-while because I was still finishing another book. As I read the first chapter, I found myself reading it every chance I got!! Before I knew it, 2 or 3 weeks later I got to chapter 23.

I was reading it with two other friends (one was reading it for the second time). We saw each other every Sunday, and shared our favorite quotes from it. We were amazed at how much God was using this book in soooooooooooooooo many amazing ways! Thank you!

This book meant so very much to me because in the last 4 months I felt guilty about every wrong thing I did. I felt like I had to drown myself in guilt to make Father accept me. I just couldn’t grasp the fact that He just loved me, regardless of who I was or what I did. I felt like I had to make up for all those mistakes, and that God must NOT be bigger than all of them. It wasn’t any major things, only things like wrong thoughts, believing lies, saying the wrong things, not loving others, looking for satisfaction in things that could never give me that, and just struggling, I guess. I felt so guilty! I don’t know. But I struggled in these things again, and again. I couldn’t see Father anywhere in the middle of all this.

I had gotten so caught up in the do’s and don’t’s that I had this thirst to know the God–that maybe did love me. I just couldn’t seem to tell at the time. Then I read your book, it got me right at the right time. As soon as I saw the cover, I thought : “That little girl looks so content. She looks loved. Oh! I want that!!” I read it, and one day God showed me in a special way how much He really loved me. I felt so free for at least a few days– but then the lies only came back. My dearest friends could tell me they weren’t true, but I just couldn’t believe them. I’m learning that it’s only Jesus who can free me of the guilt, lies, and the shame. I’m now on that journey you talked about in So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. By the way–thank you soooooo much for that book too, it’s shown me how far religion goes–or doesn’t go!

So that’s my story. I lived for about 4 months unloved, to the extreme, and then I read your book. Father is working in amazing ways through it!! Thanks for caring about people like me, people who are longing to be free. It means so much. Thanks for caring! Thanks for your book! I’ve told so many people about it, and currently have 3 copies (of He Loves Me!). One’s mine, another is for another great friend, and the other I’m lending out because it’s my lend-out book. Thank you again for your openness and love for Father.

Someone sent me this link today and I was met with an incredibly inspiring movie of how believing a lie can devour our lives, and discovering the truth can transform even the most painful circumstances: The Butterfly Circus

I have no idea who is behind this, or what their intended meaning was. I can’t imagine that it wasn’t a redemptive portrayal. At least that’s how it resonated with me. This touched me far more than Avatar, for which I paid far more.

ADDED NOTE: I guess I do know these people. Just found out from Brad, my partner over at The God Journey that he is involved with the folks who made this movie and they are dear brothers and sisters with a passion to tell powerful stories of God’s work in the world. So, for those of you who think Brad and I share everything with each other, it’s pretty clear we don’t. I had never heard of this before today and am so blessed to find out that I’m only one degree of separation away from those involved… How cool is that?

The brothers and sisters who have been praying for our upcoming trip.

Many of you know that over the past two years we have been corresponding with and sending relief money to some brothers and sisters in Kenya. Over the last two years we have been able to channel about $50,000.00 into the desperate need of that country that was overrun with violence following a disputed election. My engagements with the brothers and sisters in Kenya has truly been one of the highlights of the past couple of years. Not only have they been deeply grateful for the resources we have sent, but they have also expressed a real hunger to engage a more relational way of living as the church in Kenya. They have devoured some of my books and have invited me to come and share with them firsthand how to live loved and love others. This February I’ll be spending two weeks in Kenya visiting in the northwest part of the country around the city of Kitale. I will be accompanied by a good friend, Kent Burgess of St Louis, MO. We would appreciate your prayers for our trip and the people there.

Even though their need is ongoing, they wrote me today to let me know they were praying for the people of Haiti and their devastation as well. People who know incredible scarcity have great compassion for others who face it, too.

I first became aware of these Kenyan brothers and sisters when they wrote me a couple of years ago wanting to know if I’d come to visit them in Africa. That led to a lengthy email exchange to find out how they felt I could serve them in coming. I sent them copies of my books and was surprised that they were so taken with my view of Father’s love and biblical examination of the nature of the church. The teaching caught on like wildfire among their entire community of churches and pastors. They translated some of Authentic Relationships and passed it out freely. I was blessed at very simple changes I saw them making to be more responsive to a less hierarchical structure of their group.

And, as Father would arrange it, I had a couple of people I knew traveling through Kenya and asked them to stop in and visit them and find out what they were about. I was assured by independent verification that they were who they were presenting themselves to be and that the man I was communicating with had a heart of gold and I could trust him.

Then two years ago Kenya erupted in tribal violence after a disputed election. Homes were burned, people brutally murdered, and thousands of people displaced. I wrote my new-found friend and asked if he was OK and if they needed anything. He told me he had 25 families who’d been displaced camped at his home. When I asked about sending money, he said no one had ever sent money to them before. We made the need known on this blog and my podcast audience a few times through the spring and summer.

Money we have sent has provided food for the hungry, shelter for the displaced, school tuition for students and seed money to finance new business ventures. To our joy, they not only used it for themselves, but also shared with unbelievers in need, and believers in other corners of the country that needed help as well. One of the high points of this year for me is this connection and how God has used it to build up the body of Christ, there and here. So many of have sent checks both large and small to share with our brothers and sisters in this time of need.

The need in Kenya is ongoing—more food, tuition to attend school, and helping people establish new lives that were displaced by the violence. If you have any extra to send their way, you may do so through the “Make A Donation” button on our donation page. Just make sure you let us know it is for Kenya. Every dime we receive we send directly to these brother and sisters. They are always overwhelmingly grateful for whatever they receive in these desperate times.

I want to close with a recent email from one of the key brothers there. This one is about a translation of my article, “Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore.” And this is from the head of a large denomination that encompasses a number of countries in eastern Africa:

I would like to thank you very much. Our translation team has completed the work we decided to take only parts of “Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore”. The message is so touching and this message will benefit thousands of Saints across Kenya,Tanzania, Rwanda, Burundi and some parts of Uganda. I have already send it out to Rwanda and Burundi through email. There are nine pages and we are praying if God can open a way that we may get our own photocopy machine and spiral machine and this can give us easier work to save thousands of money for photocopy. Then we will only buy photocopying papers instead of using thousands of money for photocopy. We are having around 200,000 church leaders who are in need of this material and this material will help more in rural areas, interior places and even in urban where there is misinterpretation of the word ‘church’. This message has changed totally my life and the lives of our congregation so we are praying that God will provide us with the photocopy machine that we may start immediately distributing to church leaders. I have put some copies in our offices that some leaders may photocopy. May the Lord bless you so much for what you are doing. If you may want to publish in the internet you may do so because it is so needed worldwide. We have around 39 million people Swahili speaking across East and Central Africa who can be able to read.

Corn that we purchased being prepare for distribution.

Hungry people waiting for the food to be distributed.

A group of widows who lost their husbands in the tribal violence.

Some of the orphans who are needing financial gifts for their school fees.

It will be a joy to finally meet these people face to face and see what God might do in that exchange. We will learn from what God has been doing in them, and share freely what he wants to give them through us. After corresponding for so long, it will be wonderful to finally connect face to face.

I get this question all the time and have answered it often, but I will do so on my blog again for others who still haven’t found the answer elsewhere on the website. I got this email a few days ago:

I have a question for you. Do you still believe in Church leadership and Church discipline? How are those things to operate? Does a loving Father still chastise? Just some questions I have had for a while, I really like what you teach and was wanting your advice on these things. Thank you so much!

My response: I absolutely do, as the early church experienced them, but not how we’ve encased them in our institutional, shame-based caricatures of the church organizations today. Leadership is about equipping and facilitating, not managing and manipulating. And discipline is about loving people into wholeness not shaming them in their sin. We have twisted these things until they no longer reflect the intent of our older brother, Jesus!

I was on the road yesterday so did not follow the news through the day. When I got home and finally saw pictures of the devastation in Haiti, my heart just broke for these dear people and the calamity that has befallen them. I have heard from some folks wanting to know if we knew of a way to get money to the need in Haiti. Unfortunately I don’t know anyone directly who is involved with the people of Haiti.

There are many fine, large organizations intervening in Haiti at the moment. But Sara and I like to give relationally, where the vast majority of the money actually ends up providing for the needs of people, not the administrative needs of the organization delivering it. So we like to give to people or groups that we know firsthand, and who have a relational understanding of God and his kingdom. We don’t have anyone like that in this case.

So we look next for people we know that know people who are involved in this massive outreach. I know others are, too. So I thought I’d tap the readership of this blog to see if they know people or organizations that they know and trust in this situation. If you do, please feel free to post their information in the comment section below and also include any appropriate links for further information about the organization, or how others can help.

This will provide a resource for others who want to explore ways to give to help with those who have been ravaged by this catastrophe. Thanks in advance for anyone who can help us out here.

I recorded an interview this afternoon at KLOVE radio, which reaches five million listeners around the world. I was thrilled with the interview questions and the hosts drilling down to the religion versus relationship issue. It will air tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon (January 12) at 3:00 p.m. Pacific Time. If you don’t have a KLOVE station near you, you can listen on-line on the KLOVE website. I’m not often excited about interview, but thought this one had a real flow and depth.

I got this in an email from an old friend the other day, who is freshly learning to live loved. I really like the way he qorded this.

Once I began to understand what it means to live loved, I started seeing the gospel afresh in many places. I’m seeing how essential it is to keep the gospel in the foreground, to stay near the Cross and not slide into a soft legalism of “practical Christian living” that makes what I do the main thing rather than what Christ has done (and continues to do) for me.

That’s a mouthful!

In the age of microwave ovens, Internet access and video on demand, we are being seduced to the illusion of instant answers and quick fixes. The renewing of our minds, however, is a process that does take some time. God is not interested in waving a magic wand and making all your circumstances glorious; he is interested in transforming us from the inside out. He’s works in the inner live to bring real change from within, and that just takes time.

So don’t get frustrated when you don’t see the results you want coming to pass quickly. They were never meant to. God is not about a quick fix, but real transformation over time. I meet lots of people who are frustrated in the middle of the process, not realizing that something real is going on at a level they can’t see yet. So it is always a great encouragement to me when I see someone move from painfully disillusioned, to gratefully disillusioned because of the fruit they see in their lives. I got this email a few days ago. I hope it is an encouragement to many others who are still in the middle of a transformation and can’t yet see the end of it. It’s coming!

I wanted to thank you all again for your great podcasts and books and all that you have done to bless my life!!! I’ve been wanting to write this letter for several months.

I have been listening to your podcasts for about 3+ years after someone recommended the So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore book to me. That book we cried through; it was so close to our own personal experience. Wayne, you came to my house in Michigan (the one with all the mosquitoes) and shared with us – thank you!

The first few years we didn’t know if the pain would ever subside and my husband suffered from frequent migraines as each family we had loved from the organization stepped away from us as we “deprogrammed” from religion and stepped down from our place in leadership at a church we helped start.

You guys always said that it will get better and that it will come, and it has. I didn’t know if it ever would at the time. We are now totally “gratefully disillusioned” and the freedom and joy we experience are worth it all. We can now thank God for the “baseball bat to the face” (as my husband calls it) of our organized group’s catastrophe (a situation very similar to the “Jake” book). You even spoke of how eventually even some reconciliations came over time, Wayne, in your own experience after you went through various betrayals. We also have been through layers of betrayals and would never have believed that there are finally some cracks in the walls of ice that came between us and our friends after the “shunning” we experienced.

We felt like the Spirit was clearly leading us elsewhere other than supporting that organization we helped start, but the emotional pain and agony were immense as for a time we even lost relationship with my parents while they were still at the organization that we were at and commiserating with our old friends on how “concerned” they were for us. That has now all been worked through and healed, my parents have left, the relationship restored, and my husbands migraines have subsided. New friendships have been made that are much richer and more meaningful to us.

Anyway! I am glad to testify that you were right and that you all have been such a help our own journeys. The freedom you have talked about has become our freedom, too, and we rejoice. God is good. Now we enjoy the daily adventure of walking with Father and how He leads us and who He leads us to love each day.

One of our most amazing experiences recently was to stand with a woman who was being “evangelized” by Christians in a co-op group we are in. Some kids from the religious families in our group were telling her kids on the playground that they are going to hell. We had this couple over and got to know their story and found out that this wife had been sexually abused by her pastor as a teenager. When she brought this to the light the deacons swept it under the carpet and her mother abandoned her. Needless to say this woman does not want much to do with organized “Christianity” anymore. Well we were able to stand with her and love her and be at least one Christian family in her life who didn’t mistreat her (the religious people in our co-op were pretty toxic to her). She really seems to have a real yearning for Jesus and even hears from Him, but doesn’t quite know His name after what she’s been through (just as The Shack talks about). It has been really neat how we have just been able to love her and not have any agenda and she has been so drawn to us and some other friends of ours that are “out of the box”.

It has been a beautiful and amazing experience to bring healing to others out of our wounds. We could really connect with her and her husband about the misguided ways of organized religion and how they go against Jesus’ ways. After her and her husband left our house one night they said, “I will never forget this night”. Thank you for helping us deprogram from “evangelism” and religion and be able to love people freely and help rebuild what has been broken down.

I praise the Lord for the reconciliations that have started to flow for us with a couple people from our old organized group. And also the rich fellowship we now have with others on the journey. At first we had lost our whole community and it felt like being in the desert for a long time, but in three years time our community has rebuilt now is so much more rich, diverse, deep and amazing then it ever was. It was worth the pain and change. It is like before we were eating fast food before (organized religion) and now we sit down to homemade feasts with candles and ambiance—that’s the fellowship we now enjoy. Especially one family who left the organization with us has been such an amazing experience of building relationships built of honesty, transparency and love instead of duplicity and “fronts”.

Tonight we are having over a family who feel they have never fit into any church. They were not shiny enough to ever take the notice of those in leadership (looking like they might be of service to the organization and inner circle). And their children’s worst verbal abuse has happened at church from the other kids – so much so that their oldest daughter really wants to be a boy since she had so many terrible comments from the girls at church. We see though that they have genuine hearts for Jesus and we want to love their children and help heal the wounds.

Let us stand together in being God’s people and loving those He brings into our lives! Thanks for being true brothers in Christ – a little ahead of us on the journey – and gently showing us a better way!

Don’t give up the good work even if some people are being stinkers!

Someone sent me this quote from a book they’ve been reading that seemed to go along with my earlier posting about washing someone’s shoes and how it touched their life. I haven’t read the book and don’t know anything about the author, but I sure like this quote:

The moment you are aware of your holiness it goes sour and becomes self-righteousness. A good deed is never so good as when you have no consciousness that it is good—you are so much in love with the action that you are quite unself-conscious about your goodness and virtue. Your left hand has no idea that your right hand is doing something good or meritorious. You simply do it because it seems the natural, spontaneous thing to do. Spend some time in becoming aware of the fact that all the virtue that you can see in yourself is no virtue at all but something that you have cunningly cultivated and produced and forced on yourself. If it were real virtue you would have enjoyed it thoroughly and would feel so natural that it wouldn’t occur to you to think of it as a virtue. So the first quality of holiness is its unself-consciousness.

The second quality is its effortlessness. Effort can change a behavior, it cannot change you. Think of this: Effort can put food into your mouth, it cannot produce an appetite; it can keep you in bed, it cannot produce sleep; it can make you reveal a secret to another but it cannot produce trust; it can force you to pay a compliment, it cannot produce genuine admiration; effort can PERFORM acts of service, it is powerless to produce love or holiness. All you can achieve by your effort is REPRESSION, not genuine change and growth.

The Way to Love
~ Anthony De Mello

I love hearing how other people are experiencing this journey and how God is freeing them from the bondage of human religion to embrace a realy walk with him. I got this from a twenty-three year old Swiss woman this week. What an encouragement it was to me and I hope to you too.

First of all, I want to thank you. Yours and Mr Coleman’s book So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore has touched me deep down inside and it has helped me get a little glimpse of who Jesus really is.

In the past couple of days, I have started to realize what it really means to live with God as my Father. Born into a Christian family, I’ve always seen myself as a child of His, but I never quite understood the meaning of it. I felt restless and suspicious whenever I went to church, and with the years I felt myself getting pulled down more and more by feelings of guilt. Whatever I did, I always had the impression it was not enough. I met people in church who talked me into doing certain things, and every time I hoped it would make me feel better in front of God, but it never did. In the summer of 2009 I decided to be baptized. I was so hungry for this overwhelming peace and joy I admired in other Christians and I set all my hopes on the day of my baptism. It was a good day. But my expectations were disappointed. I still felt an emptiness in me that could not seem to be filled.

Before these feelings could break me, I got your book. And with every page I read, I could feel this heavy load on my chest be lifted away. This might sounds cheesy, but it’s exactly how it felt. I realized that I don’t have to earn God’s love. It’s right here. And I learned that God doesn’t bless us for doing things this way or that way. He blesses EVERYTHING we do together with Him, in Him and through Him. And He’s not a fortune teller who gives us predictions like “This is your job/man/house for life”. He puts things into our hearts and gives us what we need every day. I don’t have to ask myself “Is this right or wrong?”. I’d much rather ask the Lord “What is it that you want to put into my heart?”

It’s no miracle the God so many Christians have talked to me about couldn’t touch my heart the way I always wished He would. It was a God of rules and signs that never made sense to me. A God that blesses the ones who deserve it.

Reading your book felt like finding the God I’ve been looking for all my life. The God of love. The God of relationship. The God of trust. Only now I have started to understand what that means. And here I can finally feel it: a heart so full of gratefulness for what He has done for me! A heart of joy for this great promise of His never-ending love! A heart that can rest in peace, knowing that He will give me what I need, every day. This is the Lord I want to follow, this is the God I want to praise.

I’m only 23 years old and there’s so much more I have to learn. And this short time in which I have started to discover the wonders of being God’s child has already showed me that it can be a “lonely” way sometimes. Many people around me, who I always thought were devoted Christians, don’t seem to understand when I talk about this God I’m getting to know now. They’d rather hold on to rules they think God has created for them to be safe and they don’t see that these rules only keep them from experiencing God’s original and amazing ways of blessing them!! It makes me sad sometimes. And it makes me feel lonely, too, sometimes.

But I know that the Lord is watching over me. He knows what I need, and He knows what every single one of his children needs. He has ways that seem impossible for me now. But I do trust in Him.

Mr Jacobsen, I want to thank you and Mr Coleman for being “God’s tools” in the process of opening my eyes and heart to a new kind of life.

I wish you and your families all the best and God’s rich blessings and gifts.