Wayne Jacobsen

I don’t generally deal in Christmas thoughts, so consider this a rarity.

Yesterday morning I was a pretty sick puppy. My daughter, Julie, had come to bring our granddaughter over for Sara to watch while she volunteers a few hours at her older child’s kindergarten. When she got to school she told Aimee that Grandpa was pretty sick. Aimee felt bad for me. Later, Julie noticed Aimee feverishly working at the craft table during some of her free time. My daughter wondered could she be doing with such intensity. When she went over to look, Aimee told her that she was making a card for Grandpa because she wanted him to feel better. Did I ever!

My daughter brought the heart-shaped, orange card to me after school when she came to pick up Lindsay. She told me the story of Aimee thinking up the idea and making the card on her own. Amazing. I stood in awe that my granddaughter in the midst of her school day would even think to try to make me a card. The drawings on it and the plea to “Grandpa, feel better,” touched a deep place in my soul. Tears of absolute wonder and joy began to pool in my eyes. Of course, I would get better. Aimee wants me to.

You can see the front and back of her card here. You couldn’t sell this card in any store in America, but Hallmark has never printed the card of more exquisite beauty or more touching a message. You see, it is not the quality of the card that defines the one who gives it. It’s the quality of the one giving it that brings beauty and meaning to the card.

I think the same is true of our lives, especially in relationship with God. Religious obligation led us to believe that our worthiness to God derived from the quality of work we can do, the gifts we can give, or the heights we can achieve. Jesus taught us something different. Because we are already special to God, even our most immature and faltering attempts bring great joy to his heart. The gift doesn’t qualify the giver; the giver qualifies the gift.

That’s why Aimee’s card is a treasure to me. It represents the best gift she could give at this stage of her life and growth. I’m sure a card she’ll give me when she’s 15 or 24 will look quite different indeed. They will be special in their own way as well, but how could they be more special than this one even if the artwork is better, the cut lines cleaner, or the handwriting more fanciful?

By the same token I’ve known husbands to give extravagant gifts to their wise as a substitute for not loving them over the course of the day. Because the life it comes from is empty, so is the gift even if it is costly. It’s how we live and love that matters most, to God and others. It’s not the size or cost of the gift we bring; it’s what it expresses about the life behind it.

I will treasure this card for a long time! It has six-year-old Aimee pouring out of ever cut, letter, and sketch. It connects me to the one I love so deeply and with whom I share a wonderful grandpa-granddaughter relationship. When I see her card it warms my heart with her love, and it reminds me that God’s not evaluating today how good my efforts compare to anyone else’s. He’s just thrilled that they celebrate the growing bond between us, and they are what I can offer him today taking into account where I am on this journey.

Where’s the Christmas thought in all of this? Don’t get caught up in gift-giving as if your gift has to be good enough to earn their love. If they don’t already, no gift will change their mind longer than for a few moments. And if they already love you it won’t matter what the gift is because they will care about the friendship most of all.

Read this in an email yesterday:

Absence of conflict is not evidence of love.

Wow! Is that ever true. But a perpetuation of conflict without the opportunity to humbly discuss, reconsider, and reconcile would be, I think!

Sharing about the cross the Father Heart Conference in Germany

No I’m not being crucified, at least not in this photo. This was a wonderful time sharing about the cross with the Father Heart Conference in Hannover. It was one of many wonderful and incredible moments hanging out with brothers and sisters in Germany. I can’t believe I spent two weeks in Germany and did not have time for one blog update from there. I’m so, so sorry. It was a whirlwind trip, to be sure, one that pushed me to the limits of exhaustion at one point. But I wouldn’t have traded the times I had with so many diverse groups and people from throughout Germany.

I began in Nuremburg, spending a few days there and then the first weekend at a retreat in Bavaria. From there I went to the area around Stuttgart for the week. Then on Thursday I took a train up to Hannover where I spoke at the Father Heart Conference. The final weekend I was near Hannover at another retreat of free-rangers exploring life in Jesus beyond our religious institutions.

What a fascinating trip! I met people all over the spectrum of this journey, from people deeply involved in and committed to church life lived out in corporate settings, some with 500 year old chalices that the saints have used to celebrate the Lord’s Supper through good times and bad, to those who no longer connect there and are wondering what’s next. The common thread was this—people have a growing hunger to truly engage a relationship with God, not just talk about one. Almost in every locale I was asked about the cross and how God had begun to reshape my thinking there fifteen years ago with some brothers and sisters in Australia.

I talk more about this trip in our recent podcast at The God Journey, but it refreshed me in the knowledge that the most important questions to be answered are not about “church” structures or “church” meetings, but have to do with knowing God as Father and learning to live in his love. If we don’t do that, no matter what we do for “church”, it will become a substitute for our not knowing him. Once we begin to connect with him in a real way, then we can follow him as he leads us into connections he wants to give us with others, in whatever setting best serves his work in us and the world.

Truly there are people all over the world who have a growing hunger for an intimate relationship with God that transforms their lives. As many of you know, I rarely do “lecture” presentations from the front of a room, but enjoy engaging conversations, whether it be two or three of us over a meal or 700 people in an auditorium, though that conversation is a bit more stilted. I loved hear the stories of how God has been stirring the hearts of his people to not settle for religious rituals, but to find their way into a real relationship with him. I love the questions people are asking that deal with real issues of the heart and the confusions brought on by much of their religious training.

At each locale we had an extended time to process a nonappeasement view of what God accomplished at the cross. So many Christians believe that Jesus died to satisfy the anger of his Father, instead of to resolve the sin and shame that kept us estranged from him. Viewing the cross as appeasement presents God as an abusive Father, who lures us into his kingdom under the threat of death and destruction. Instead, he is our Abba who invites us into his house to rescue us from all the ways that sin and shame seek to destroy us. There’s nothing I enjoy talking about more. I even did it in Hannover with a huge cross in the front of the building (see above) that helped people have an image of what was going on in Jesus during those incredible hours. (If you’ve never heard this view of the cross, which I believe to be the primary view of Paul, the apostle, you can listen to it here, and it’s free!)

I hope it was a blessing to those I was with. I can think of so many individual stories of dear, dear people finding their way into freedom and resonating so deeply with some of the things I’d written and some of the things we shared. I am deeply grateful to all those who made my trip so wonderful. I’m thankful to be home now for a delightful Thanksgiving celebration with my family and friends. I hope you have some warm and wonderful days this week with those you love as well.

Widows and children we’d like to help move to a safer and more sanitary location

Many of you who have followed this blog over the past few years know well the need in Kenya thathas been exacerbated by the tribal violence of the disputed elections in 2007. We have an opportunity to help move an orphanage full of children, some of them pictured above, onto an available piece of land that can be refurbished to help meet this need. We have been working with them over the past month to see what solution God might have in mind. Originally they wanted to build a pristine orphanage on 10 acres, but the costs were extremely high.

We encouraged them not to see this move as a permanent solution for these children. God did not make children to be raised by institutions, but to become part of a family. We wanted them to think of this move only as transitional—to care for them until God can work out a way for them to be with an extended family member, or even to be adopted into the home of a believing family in Kenya. It has been a remarkable journey praying with them and helping them think through all of this.

They have now found a one-acre piece of land with some buildings already on it than can be refurbished to help provide a place in the short-term for them to live away from the unsanitary conditions of the slum they are in. The cost of buying the land, refurbishing the buildings, and providing for the staff for two years comes to about $85,000.00. Yes, that is a lot of money and I don’t have a clue if we know enough people who can pull that off, but we do feel led by God to provide a conduit here for people he moves to give to see what we can do.

The most immediate need is to buy the land while it is still available. That cost if $49,000.00 and we need to see if that can be provided soon. To renovate the existing buildings and to build a couple of others as well as to supply them with furnishings will cost an additional $20,000.00. We are also hopeful to provide expenses for the staff, which is $1,000 per month for 24 months. After that the Kenyans will take over the ongoing expenses of this facility as needed. The total to get them moved and cared for is $93,000 and will also provide much-needed jobs for people there in the construction and ongoing care.

Where they live now


The property currently for sale, that we can give to them as a place to live.

We’re going to see if there are enough people out there that God would invite to help us cover these costs. The most immediate need is to buy the land while it is available, so that is our first goal. People have already been sending gifts large and small. One man from Europe just sent us almost $700.00. And to make this goal more attainable, someone has offered to match every gift sent in, up to $50,000.00. This means we only need help with half of the amount.

I am so blessed at the excitement so many people have had to help us share our bounty with these people. If you would like to be part of this to support these brothers and sisters and see the Gospel grow in this part of Africa, please see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560-1 Newbury Rd #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

I’m off to Germany to share God’s life and love there. Three of my books have been translated into German, He Loves Me as Loved, So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore as The Call of the Wild Goose, and Authentic Relationships as Authentic Relationships. I’m glad they kept one of my titles! And, in the last few years I have gotten a lot of email from Germany from people who are excited about living more relationally in the life of Jesus. I’m looking forward to meeting many of them and hanging out discovering what Father has been doing among them to teach them how to live in his love.

I often hear people refer to what I write and teach as the Grace Message or the Love Message. I know people often need a simple tag to put on things, but a part of me cringes whenever I hear the sum of my life being reduced to a message. I have to choke down those internal screams that want me to to pound that table and shout, “It’s not a message, it’s a way to live!” The joy of this journey comes not in convincing ourselves that God loves us but in actually learning to live as one of his beloved children in the earth!

I have the same reaction when anyone refers to marriage as an institution. My marriage is not an institution. It’s a relationship of growing love and respect that yields the incredible fruits of deep joy, hilarious laughter, insightful conversations, and a consistent friend and partner through the joys and trials of living in this age. This relationship has been hard won and grace-filled over 35 years of learning to care for her more than I care about myself. (I’m still learning that one!) She is the greatest joy I have in this age.

That’s why when people talk about what I share as the the Grace Message, I want to pull my hair out. If this was only a message, how empty would it be? Jesus has not invited me to teach a doctrine about God’s love or his grace. He has asked me to help people experience the reality of a growing relationship with him deeply centered in his Father’s affection for us. That is not just an intellectual proposition; it is a revelation that allows us to know him in increasing reality.

And as you grow to know him, you’ll realize that he is not a “warm fuzzy” grandpa in the sky. He is the transcendent, holy, all-powerful God of the universe who has offered to be my Abba, the most affectionate term that a first century toddler would call his or her dad. Yes, his affection is outrageous. But that affection also seeks to win me into increasing arenas of light so that I can be transformed by truth, not just coddled in my deceptions, lies, and broken coping mechanisms. That’s why I rarely use the term “unconditional love”, not because I think God’s love has conditions, but because the reference is so static. God’s affection is transformational, allowing me to know him and also changing me at the core of my being.

The invitation to live loved is not to buy into a new doctrine but to embrace a new way of living. I can increasingly live inside the Father’s affection instead of all the fears, anxieties and ambitions of my flesh. It is both joy and freedom of the highest order. And so can you! It is not something you turn on or off in a moment; it is a lifetime journey of being shaped a bit more every day as you learn to live at home in him. Go, live loved! Ask him to help you because this is way above what any of us can produce on our own.

By the way, the picture above is courtesy of some dear friends of mine whom I saw recently in Minnesota. They gave me a Living Loved graphic for my wall that Sara and I love. I asked them if others could get one if they wanted it and they told they could. You can get just a graphic for your wall, or you can order one on a tile like the one above. If you’re interested in having something like this in your home, or giving it as a gift, you can visit their website for more information.

He Loves Me has just been released in the French language by Edition Promesses, who also published So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. The market for these kinds of books in French is incredibly small, but as a labor of love a good friend of mine from Switzerland translates them and a dear lady from France publishes them to make them available. You can get information on ordering either book in French here.

I’m always overwhelmed with joy when people find some of our books and articles so valuable to them that they want to take the time to translate them for others who cannot read English. I just had a request today from a fifteen-year-old girl in Finland that wants to translate into Finnish some of the articles from our newsletter. Her parents are going to help her. I’m just amazed at the graciousness of people who have passion and vision. I appreciate so much those who are willing to go to such lengths to help others be encouraged in the journey of learning to live in the Father’s affection and live in that love with other believers and before the world.

If you want to keep up with various translations of Lifestream books and materials, you can visit our International Page. If you know of others we’ve left off here, please let us know.

This comes from the finding-the-truth-in-strange-places department of my life. If you want to know why God often speaks to us in a still small voice, I know of no better explanation than this, by a chef and former NFL football player:

If you want your kids to listen to you, don’t yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that and I do it with adults now.
Mario Batali, in Esquire

Great advice for parents! Even better for us to understand why God doesn’t scream his plan and purpose into our lives. It’s an invitation not a demand! Yes, it takes a bit to learn to listen to that voice and give it the place in your life that it deserves, but what he wants most is for us to lean in and enjoy him, not just get his wisdom.

My sheep know my voice, Jesus said. It’s not about hearing first; it’s always about relationship!

The aftermath of tribal violence: Widows caring for orphans in the slums of Eldoret

I received a touching letter the other day from my friends in Kenya, updating me on God’s work there since Kent Burgess and I visited last February. I will reprint excerpts from it below. I appreciate so much what God has stirred in their hearts and that it continues to bear fruit by drawing hearts to Jesus.

At the same time we continue to help with many physical needs there. Just last week the mom of one of the men, who drove us around Kenya, died in a hospital. They would not release the body until the $1400.00 hospital bill was paid. No one could afford that amount, so we sent it. Without your generosity for the brothers and sisters there, we would not be able to help them in the way we have. We’ve been blessed to be a conduit over the past three years to get tens of thousands of dollars on the ground in Kenya to help relieve the suffering of widows, orphans, and homeless people.

So, though I am the focus of their gratitude because it has come through me, I know that a lot of this appreciation goes to countless people who read this blog and listen to The God Journey. Thank you for making a difference in this corner of the world. Please know that these needs are ongoing. We will continue to send money out of our abundance to help alleviate the suffering and provide for those who have nothing to eat, or no way to begin a small business that can provide for their needs.

If you would like to be part of this to support these brothers and sisters and see the Gospel grow in this part of Africa, please see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560-1 Newbury Rd #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

But please enjoy this letter and know you all have my heartfelt thanks for the prayers and contributions many of you have made to help touch the lives of these dear people in Kenya:

Living loved and loving others is only the answer which gives us to know the image of Christ, and the Bible says in John 3:16 God loved the world so much and he sent his begotten son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but will have eternal life. In verse 17, says God did not send his son to judge the world but the world to be saved through him. I thank God through his servant who has really touched our lives, Bro. Wayne Jacobsen for his books, Authentic Relationships and He Loves Me which have truly encouraged us.

A powerful force—the God who wants us to be loved! God is changing the lives of many brothers’ and sisters’ life’s and transitioning us not to have religion but instead to have relationship. One of the great changes that has occurred in us was to separate the African pastor from religion, organization and institutions. I can start with myself. But right now I thank God that the stronghold of religion has been now broken down, and I am free to love, to care and to serve. And a hundred other brothers have now responded and God has transformed their lives. We have come to realize and repent for requesting you to be our mentor or spiritual cover, when we have Jesus already as our mentor, friend and our cover, we have come also to repent our titles of Bishop, Apostle, Pastor, Prophet or any other title rather than to live and accept our brothers and sisters and care the way Jesus cared for us. I repent for being a director of people without seeing Jesus Christ as the director of the whole church universal and the overseer of our souls.

God connected us with Wayne for the purpose of my spiritual transition so that I may be instrument to help others, I have come now to know that the love of God will guide us. I love this God. We understood him in wrong doctrine that God is angry with us wherever we mess up and that he is holding a very big sword ready to kill and punish us. Many have said that famine, poverty, disaster, and all kind of calamities are the sword the of God’s punishment upon us. Even African pastors still believe that HIV/AIDS is the plague of God. So we repent to think that God is angry with us. We repent that the missionary who came in Africa taught us how to obey title, leaders, and structures and also taught us that God can be only be found in building institutions.

So we are not praising or honouring brother Jacobsen but we thank God who used him to help us become instruments of God. Everybody wanted Brother Jacobsen to come back again next year, but he told us that we don’t need Jacobsen or Lifestream. We just need Jesus Christ and have the fellowship with him so that we may live loved and love others too. Wayne, you may or may not come but what you left here for your trip in Kenya, I can agree with you that surely we don’t need you, but we need Jesus who will help us to live loved and to love others.

I can remember while Jesus was on the earth he loved the people, he associated with the sinners but he hatred the sin, he did those who are hunger, and clothed those who are naked he touched many lives. This same ministry the African church has seen in you. You stepped into the post election violence and in every port you rescued the lives of those who were in refugee camps, provided for the unschooled children, helped the homeless, and stood with the widows and orphans. Micro-finances are being given out to help people be self-reliant. This is not a denomination that you have started here Lifestream Ministry or because you partner with IGEM, but you and the brethren over there have helped us as an African Church to realize that your image of the church is true.

We’re finding out now more about helping find some land and a facility outside of the slum for the dear women and children pictured above. You can’t believe the conditions they live in. An open sewage drain runs through the play area. They have almost nothing to live on. They’ve been praying God would provide them a home. We’re praying about helping them relocate. This will cost a significant amount. If you’re interested in helping us do that, please write Sara from our contact page and let her know. We’ll put out details when we get them if we think we have enough people who want to help. Thanks.

This is a delightful follow-up to what I wrote in the previous blog. I appreciate David’s heart here for that which God desires, and to stay far away from that which God does not. Again, as a performance standard, it probably isn’t too helpful, but as a way to live in his freedom, these are some awesome thoughts.

Taken from Psalm 101 in The Message (Emphasis mine):

My theme song is God’s love and justice, and I’m singing it right to you, God.
I’m finding my way down the road of right living, but how long before you show up?
I’m doing the very best I can, and I’m doing it at home, where it counts.
I refuse to take a second look at corrupting people and degrading things.
I reject made-in-Canaan gods, stay clear of contamination.
The crooked in heart keep their distance; I refuse to shake hands with those who plan evil.
I put a gag on the gossip who bad-mouths his neighbor;
I can’t stand arrogance.
But I have my eye on salt-of-the-earth people—they’re the ones I want working with me;
Men and women on the straight and narrow—these are the ones I want at my side.
But no one who traffics in lies gets a job with me; I have no patience with liars.
I’ve rounded up all the wicked like cattle and herded them right out of the country.
I purged God’s city of all who make a business of evil.

Reading though Les Miserables (see previous blog post) got me thinking a lot about character, love and redemption. People often wonder how it is that God speaks to me. Certainly he inserts thoughts into my mind, or nudges my heart in directions he wants me to go, but there’s something larger going on behind the scenes. As Jesus sets me increasingly free to live inside his love and care for me, it changes the way I treat others. The grid through which I respond to people changes. Instead of being focused on my needs, either maximizing my benefit or minimizing any potential pain, I’m able to see them and care about them for who they are. This allows me to think in a clearer space where his nudgings and insights are not so hard to notice.

By no means do I attain all of this in every situation, but these statements describe how I’m learning to live inside his love for me. Please don’t think of these as a set of obligations to follow, but as the space that defines the freedom Jesus invites you to live in. Obligation will not produce this. Only by learning to live loved will we be free enough to sense his heart in our unfolding circumstances and be able to treat people with honor and grace.

• Be yourself, no more and no less. Pretense is not your friend and deceit darkens your own soul.
• Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Follow through on your word, even if you regret giving it.
• Put relationships above things. Be kind and gracious to everyone, especially those you don’t think deserve it.
• Live at the intersection of authenticity and compassion. You don’t owe everyone all you know, but make sure that what you do share is honest while it also gives grace to the hearer. Remember character is measured by how you treat people with kindness when you’re absolutely sure they are in the wrong.
• Unless people are harassing or abusing you, you are better off hearing them out and working through their pain rather than cutting them off to protect yourself. Only those who want to hide in the darkness, cast aside relationships just because they become difficult. The best relationships are won through difficulties and misunderstandings.

It makes life so much easier when you treat people kindly, honor your own words, and trust that God is bigger than any mistake you can make. That’s a list of the things I’ve been thinking about. Feel free to add to it if you have other simple statements of what it’s like to live in God’s love toward others.