Wayne Jacobsen

I’m sure many of you will recognize these feelings. I received this email over the weekend:

We’re at a point in our lives where we are so tired of “doing church”
My wife and I were “raised in the Church”—in fact, my Dad used to be a pastor. it provided a good “structure” for us and we’re fortunate for that, but I think one eventually gets to a point in life where you ask yourself “what’s it all for”? What is Church about? Who/What is really the “church”? I can’t help but think so much of westernized culture completely misses the point of “gathering of yourselves’ and has turned it into a self-engrandizing , consumerist venture that is fueled largely by ignorance of who and what is “church”.

Why do so many churches have the same formula? Who was the ‘genius’ who one day decided “Oh, if we do church in this format: Greets, songs, message and prayer” that will empower the Saints to do what God has commissioned them to do? God never said “They’ll know you’re Christians by your Church attendance, or how many songs you sing, or how many “great sermons” the same guy preaches. He said “They’ll know you’re Christians by your love for one another”. It’s that love for your fellow-man that seems to be so grossly missing in today’s “church”. The church at large is focused on the “do’s and don’ts” and not focused on loving each other – again, that can largely be chocked up to a culture that perpetuates greed and selfish-ambition.

Sorry to be long-winded and “get on a soap box” – but as you can see, this is a big issue to me and some of our dearest friends. Any advice on how to find a good body of believers?

Here’s how I responded:

The best way I know to find a good body of believers, believe it or not, is to stop looking. I sense your frustration with ‘church’ as we’ve come to know it, but I think as long as our focus is on ‘the church’ we’ll miss who Jesus wants to connect us to and how he wants us to live. Without sounding trite, I think we’re to be focused on HIM—growing in our relationship to him and letting him show us how to love people he as put around us in our neighborhood, at work, and wherever else we live in the world. Out of those growing relationships he’ll connect us to people we can share him with and others with whom we can walk together in the journey of faith.

I know that isn’t very concrete, and it does take a significant time. It is not as easy as looking up a group in the Yellow Pages and joining in, though if that works for you, fine! But more times than not ‘groups’ have other priorities above simply loving Jesus and loving each other and get into some of the same traps you outlined in your letter.

If you have dear friends, just learn how to love each other together and share your spiritual journeys of living in Christ. Don’t force it into the artificial nature of a ‘meeting’ but simply let it thrive in your relationships and how you get together. The church is not something we build, it is simply a way of living alongside each other that makes Jesus known…

As I’m coming to see it, it is simply the incredible connection between friends and friends of friends who are allowing Jesus to have first place in their lives.

I also received this email this weekend:

We agree that “friends and friends of friends” meeting relationally, and not just to have ‘a meeting’—seems so normal and natural, and FUN! As I told you when you were here, whenever any of the out-of-boxers (around here) tried to get together, somebody always had an agenda and it invariably turned WEIRD!!! Although we were initially excited at the prospect of getting together for fellowship, how it turned out sickened us, and we weren’t the only ones. I think the Lord allowed it to be like that to make the distinction clear: everyone at these meetings had made the decision to forsake religion, yet were once again getting entangled in it! Just because we were outside of ‘the building’ didn’t mean that religion wasn’t still running rampant in our hearts.

(I have a friend who) has been endlessly frustrated in that she has tried countless times to get believers organized and into fellowship together, but couldn’t understand why it never seemed to work. She’s beginning to see that to have friends simply meet for fellowship, potluck or to have fun together is an enticing, if somewhat unorthodox concept. I think the Lord takes us through various stages of detoxing us from religious activity.

I love when people discover that fellowship is not rocket science. For people growing in their relationship to Jesus, sharing that together is the most natural thing in the world. When we’re trying to produce the ‘church’ by our own ingenuity and effort we will find our pursuits as exhausting as they are futile.

When we live focused on Jesus, however, and simply loving others as he has loved us, we will find his church taking shape all around us.

It’s about Jesus! Always has been. Always will be!

The Spanish Translation of So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore is now available in HTML and PDF formats for our Spanish-speaking brothers and sisters. A dear brother donated his time and expertise in making this translation available free of charge to anyone who wants it.

If others would like to help us translate this book into other languages, please let us know. We’d be happy to grant permission and to make your work available on our website.

I know! I know! I’ve been running around way too much. But it is soooo good to be home. Due to travels this summer, as well as some vacation time, I’ve not been home much and I have missed it. Last night was the ninth night I’ve slept in my own bed since leaving for Europe in June, and we celebrated the event with a 4.5 magnitude earthquake that woke Sara and me at 12:58 this morning. Fortunately it was centered 15 miles away, so we just got a good jolt here, but no damage.

A bit of vacation time has renewed us greatly. Sara and I got to spend a week alone in Canada, and came back to spend a week with my daughter and granddaughter at Shaver Lake, where my parents life in Central California. My son-in-law and son we’re able to join us a couple of days over the weekend. There is nothing like have some consecutive days with that little sweetheart of a granddaughter (see photo left) and the rest of the family. We hiked with our dogs, played in the lake, talked endlessly, colored pictures for Aimee, shot some pool, and played Pinochle. Unfortunately we had to water toys (boats, jet skis, etc.) to play with. But we did get to see Brad and Kelly, my colleague at The God Journey and their family who were also visiting family at the same location. We had a great time except for Brad’s cell phone ringing off the hook, and him actually answering it.

But now, we’re back for a fairly lengthy time, with the exception of a BridgeBuilders training on August 16 and a weekend to gather with some believers near Lake Tahoe August 17-19. Sara starts up her work again on Monday as a guidance counselor at a public high school, and I have stacks and stacks of stuff that have built up over the summer. We did manage to catch up with our book and CD orders yesterday that piled up in our absence.

It’s a wonderful morning to sit in my home study again and begin to sort things out for what lies ahead. I’ve missed being around home for more than a couple of nights at a time but I am grateful for all the people whose lives God allowed us to cross paths with this summer, and look forward to what he has ahead this fall. What that is, I have no idea yet. There are lots of things in the wind, but none too clear at this point. Stay tuned!

I’m on an extended weekend away to spend some time with my family. Daughter Julie and granddaughter Aimee are with Sara and me at my folk’s place up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of Central California. My son and son-in-law will join us for the weekend and we have a few friends dropping by. So it should be a wild weekend!

I was going to share a bit about Sara and my weekend in Stratford, Ontario a couple of weeks ago, but instead I’ll let the folks there do it for me. The photo at left captures a conversation out by the barbecue that I had with Brad, a brother who joined us for the weekend. A couple of days ago I received wonderful surprise in my email—a document where a lot of the folks who gathered with us had shared their reflections of the weekend. There’s some cool stuff in here about God’s working among us, in their own words. It’s amazing how many different things he can do over the same weekend with so many different people in the exact same locale. If you want to hear my thoughts on the weekend, you can check out today’s podcast, which covers a bit of it.

Here are excerpts of their reflections. I’ve left off names, because they didn’t write these for publication and some are wonderfully personal and I didn’t want to take advantage of that. Thanks to all who contributed their comments. Sara and I were deeply, deeply touched.

You served as a ‘flagpole’ providing an opportunity to allow us all to come together and make contact. It was neat to hear of such similar journeys. The Lord is calling us closer and closer to Himself and that means that we are bypassing all the things that made up ‘our life’. It’s the Lord who takes it from here. We love your part in this.

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Our weekend together was a special blessing to us to reconnect with a few old friends we haven’t seen in years and to hear some of what the Lord has been doing in their hearts. Then to meet quite a number of others face to face with whom we have communicated by email in the past but never met in person was also a thrill. And then on top of all that, to meet so many others for the very first time who are also on the same journey was such an encouragement to our hearts. We were truly blessed and encouraged by you all! “Thank you” Wayne and Sara, and “Thank you” to everyone else who shared a bit of yourselves with us in Stratford last weekend!!!

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I guess for me it would be that God is bigger than I had anticipated. He’s bigger than my lack. He’s bigger than my mind can fathom. He’s bigger than my doubts and fears. He’s bigger than my failures and He’s bigger than my “triumphs”. This past weekend with Wayne & Sara just made me want Him all the more. The desperation/angst/longing resides in me. How He’ll answer that is yet to be seen. But He’s bigger than that isn’t He?

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A thought came to my mind as I observed Wayne and Sara… a long way from California…and family… on hard chairs all afternoon… with people they do not know… sharing a message that is hard to both grasp and live out because of our propensity to (performance) … this is a couple that has certainly given up a lot in their journey with Father… in order to (be with) us. I feel humbled, honoured touched and thankful.

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The short time I was with everyone was a nice relaxing time of yakking with others. God continued to impress upon me the privilege of listening to Him and making decisions to step out on what I believe is from Him.”

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Meeting Wayne and Sara was a delight…. I was able to catch a glimpse of what body life just might be like while we were gathered together over that weekend. The rippling effects of so many hearts being connected is a treasure that continues to enrich my journey with Him.

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The most powerful message that I heard throughout the weekend with Wayne was that we really can trust God with our life, with the lives of those in our circle of influence and in the lives of the people we will meet in the days to come. He is more than enough for all of us.

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For me (besides the joy of getting to spend time with Wayne and Sara), the most delightful aspect of the weekend was interacting with others. Reconnecting with people we knew from our past life in the institution and meeting new folk on journeys similar to our own was exhilarating and eye opening. Despite the diversity of our backgrounds, I was struck by how much we had in common in our desire to know the Lord as life – and not as a dead religion. I also realized how much I need to learn to relax, but that’s another story!

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It was great to be able to meet with many new people spread about South-western Ontario. I enjoyed the conversations and just “being” together with others on similar and unique journeys. Wayne and Sara, you are wonderful members of this great family of Christ and I am enriched by knowing you a little more than (just) through the books and podcasts. You are a great encouragement to me and to so many others that I know.

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I have been overwhelmed by what the Lord did in my heart last weekend! Something was broken that had held me in bondage for far too long. You may find this hard to believe, but not only did I enjoy a wonderful stress-free workweek. I was even able to joke with a troublesome male co-worker—and he joked back! I was so unlike my former self. Instead of focusing on my troubles as you suggested, I began to ask the Lord expectantly, “What do you have in store for me today?” and He certainly has not disappointed—quite the opposite, in fact. The most wonderful thing that happened has to do with my relationship with my adult daughter. It has often been strained. Yesterday, we went shopping and had the best time we’d had in many years! We laughed, had fun and talked meaningfully about things that were bothering her. I believe she sensed my new ability to relax and accept her for who she is, and that made all the difference. I honestly haven’t felt this free in years!

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It was a delight to meet with other believers and share in their journeys as we find greater and lasting intimacy with our Father apart from the framework of religious obligation and legalism. Wayne, I love how you avoid becoming “entangled once again” even in these newfound liberties. I am loath to trade institutionalism for ‘out-of-the-box-ism’. Somehow it strokes pride in me to think that I’m on the ‘cutting edge’ and I know I don’t want to go there again! In this regard, I’m glad you did not encourage any of those attitudes but rather exposed that thinking for what they are; arrogant and divisive.

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We just had the most fun today! (One of the couples) we had never met prior to the weekend (visited our home. They arrived at 2 PM and we talked non-stop about the Lord for over three hours. Then they treated us to dinner at your favorite restaurant and we fellowshipped for another two hours! What a joy it was to hear their stories and to gain two new friends in the process. It’s as if we’d known them for years! In August, we’re planning to visit some of the people we met on the weekend who live two to four hours away. For most of us, leaving the institution meant embarking on a very lonely and isolated journey, but as a direct result of our weekend together we’ve discovered a gold mine of wonderful, like-minded brothers and sisters we never knew existed. How cool is THAT?

Just a head’s up for those wanting to order books or CDs. Our offices will be closed from August 2 through August 9. If you want books sent out before then, please order by noon this Wednesday, August 1. If not, will fill orders when we get back. I’m sorry for any inconvenience this causes, but all of us will be gone during those days. Sara and I are back from Canada, but are taking a bit of an extended break to rest up and enjoy our family before Sara heads back to work.

Sara and I leave tomorrow for a trip to Stratford, Ontario where we’ll be spending a weekend with some new people to add to our journey. Though we’ve not met them before we are quite excited given our email contacts with some there and because they are good friends of some of our friends. After our weekend Sara and I will be going further north in Ontario to a quiet wooded valley for a much-desired week of rest and vacation together. So if I’m hard to get a hold of then, you’ll know why! And even when we return we’re going to continue on a bit of an extended break before Sara starts up at her high school in August. We’re looking forward to some time away and don’t look for many new postings here during that time.

For those Canadians further west, it looks like I’ll be in Alberta during the middle part of September. And the weekend of August 17-19, I’ll be up in the Tahoe area hanging out with some fellow-travelers as well!

I wish I’d had more time during this brief stay at home to put down more of my thoughts from my time in Ireland. I’m sure that will filter out in articles and blogs to come, but being home only a few days has only allowed me to keep some of the correspondence and paperwork at bay. It’s amazing all the stuff that has to be done just to keep available the resources we do. Our podcast at The God Journey for this Friday, July 20, will be all about the Ireland experience and include some recorded observations from others who were there. I think you’ll enjoy it. It will be called “Friends, and Friends of Friends”.

For some other perspectives of our time in Ireland, you can check out these two blogs from two others who participated and wrote of it: Stephan Vosloo of South Africa and David Fredrickson from Sacramento, CA.

We are so blessed at all the emails and comments we’re receiving on The Shack since it’s May 1 release. People from all over the world have been captured by this little book and we’re hearing it is being recommended in some incredible places. Eugene Peterson has recommended it in writing workshops, a former FBI profiler is recommending it to people who’ve lost children in traumatic events, counselors are recommending it to clients who are dealing with conflicts about God’s reality in the midst of tragedy, and a number of influential writers are also excited about the book and recommending to their readers. We have added distributors in the U.K. and will have one soon in South Africa. I’m so blessed that others are finding this book as rewarding and powerful as I did when I first read it.

This week we also launched our new Windblown Media website to handle distribution of that book and future reprints of my own. We are currently putting the finishing touches on a second edition of He Loves Me, since we’ve only got a few books left here from the first printing. If you want to check out the new cover design, click here. I’ve revised it a bit and added a new final chapter to help people who are captured by the message of the book, but unsure how that becomes real in their own life. We should have those available by September 1.

Here’s a quote from an email I received today… I love the focus of it, especially the concluding comment:

Three years ago we became facilitators for a home group in our church—this was the high point of our spiritual lives, so to speak. We have absolutely loved every minute of it. A few days ago the Lord said to step down and let another couple take over. I was heart broken.

I prayed and prayed, I cried, I asked God what could possibly replace this. One hour later a neighbor whose husband ran out on her came over devastated that she couldn’t pay her brother to cut her grass and her dogs wouldn’t go out to “potty.” I quickly told her I would be glad to do it. Afterwards, I told her we understood how tough things were for her and said that if she need to, she could talk to my wife. The poor thing just broke down crying and said thanks. Later while seeking God again, I asked what I was going to do after home group. It is like I could see Him smiling as he said, “You’ve already started what is next!” WOW! What a marvelous God.

I guess I was still looking for a ministry, but God called me to a relationship

Well, that about does it. I hope you’re getting some rest and relaxation in this summer if you’re in the northern hemisphere, and enduring a not too brutal winter if you’re down south! We are always blessed by the wonderful email we get from people who are on this journey, from experienced veterans and from those just starting out with a bit of trepidation at moving away from some comfortable forms with the disapproval of friends. May God grant us all the grace to keep our eye on him and live in the reality of his incredible affection for each of us.

I thought you’d enjoy this little email exchange because I meet a lot of people that are wrestling with the same unfolding realities that this sister is. I also love how she responded to my comments! The heart can so easily grasp what the mind finds hard to believe.

I have no idea where to start this email except to say, “Wow!” I found your website through a yahoo group and almost wanted to cry. The whole “don’t go to church, BE the church” has been what has been going on in my head for so long now – but I have felt helpless. For the last year we have been visiting church after church after church—stuck here in the “Bible belt” and wondering where Jesus is. What we have encountered over and over and over again is the church pushing political or social agendas as well as programs—even in the tiniest of churches.

I also had a conversation on Friday with a good friend. I was telling her how Christianity has become an industry. For evidence of this fact, you can walk into any “Christian” bookstore – and plop down $15 and leave with a book on any of a million topics that will basically boil down to a well laid-out plan to manipulate God into performing the way you want Him to.

I am coming undone. Everything seems to be splintering apart. I feel better that I have a little clarity – and can see it as a farce – but what now? What happens on Sunday? What do we do now?

Here’s how I answered her:

Nothing! Wake up tomorrow and ask Father to lead you. Stop doing those things you think you ‘should’ do and simply do what he asks of you by putting things in your heart. You may not hear anything for a while. Don’t panic. He’s working out some things inside you. But at some point you’ll begin to hear how he feels about you and there will be things he’ll put on your heart, some of which will be incredibly simple, like doing some menial thing that will touch another. And it will just grow on. Eventually you’ll meet some folks who love the same Father you love and want to live with him relationally and share life with you, and community will grow out of your love for him. It is the fruit of our life in him, not the source of it. He is the only source of life.

So, enjoy the adventure. There will be lots he’ll sort out in you and through you. You’ll live in him without guilt or fear, simply responding to him instead of all the expectations of others. It may be painful for awhile, because you’ve worked to earn their approval in the past, and they will not approve of your new-found freedom. Embrace it anyway. Live on in him. This is a lovely journey…

She responded:

Thanks so much. You’re right. Trust God to show up—without a formula, a format, a building, or a program. What a life changing philosophy, and so amazingly simple! It is almost hard to grasp.

There’s lots of movement now to get So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore out in a number of languages. The Russian translation was completed months ago and is now on the website. A few months ago we also posted the Dutch translation. Now we are beginning to add a Spanish Translation and you’ll find the first seven chapters now up on the web site. For links to all of those translations click here.

Also two European publishers have released this book in German and French versions. The German translation is using a new title, The Cry of the Wild Geese: Setting out For a Free Life in Christ Beyond Religion and Tradition. You can view the cover at left. This translation can be ordered from Glory World Publishers.

Also a card company in France has just produced a French translation of that story as well. You can view it’s cover on the right. It can be ordered from Editions-Promesses.

Dave and I are so blessed that this story has captured the hearts of so many people and that some wonderful people around the world have thought enough of the story to translate as a labor of love to let others read it in their native tongue. I pray that through these pages people will hear the cry of the Spirit that calls them into the full freedom of our inheritance as the redeemed sons and daughters of the Father of all!

Well, I got through Saturday, thanks to a ton of grace and, I’m sure, a lot of prayers and support from people like you. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us and for all the lovely emails and comments that were so encouraging.

It has been a most difficult week, especially following my return from Europe. Sara and I returned home last night and went to bed at 8:00. I don’t recall ever having been more mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted! But strangely Sara and I both felt full spiritually, knowing we had seen God’s hand unfold in some amazing ways and had completed the things he had asked us to do. It was hard to leave Louise, but we know God has others nearby to come alongside her when we can’t. Today was a day of rest and reconnection as we have simply vegged the entire day. It’s been wonderful and so desperately needed.

A week ago I was in a grassy field in Ireland with believers from all over the world celebrating an amazing week of sharing our relationship with God and finding new and growing relationships with each other. One week later I was back in my old hometown facilitating my best friend’s funeral. What I didn’t say in my earlier blog is that the funeral was held in the facility of the congregation I used to pastor before being unceremoniously resigned nearly 13 years ago. I find it fascinating how God brings things around full-circle, and thought my friend might have been smiling down at us in the irony of it all. But these people couldn’t have been more gracious in offering their facility and helping with all the arrangements.

I definitely felt strange standing behind a podium I had spoken from so many times before in more pleasant circumstances, looking out on faces of people with whom Sara and I used to share such rich fellowship and joyful laughter. Though some tragic circumstances years ago we got separated in our spiritual journeys. It took the death of a mutually loved brother to bring us back together for another moment in time. Perhaps something more enduring will result from this weekend. I certainly hope and pray so. We may not see ‘church’ the same way as they do, but the church Jesus builds does not depend on that. It simply results from people who will share honest and loving friendships together.

I am more and more convinced after my time in Ireland that the body of Christ takes expression as simply a network of friends, and the friends of those friends! I realize that may take more explanation at some point, but I’m way too tired today. It was wonderful even if for a weekend to connect with people that we had loved so much and had so often laid down our lives to serve. It would be a wonderful legacy of this weekend if some of those relationships were restored in Christ.

For if the death of our earthly brother could bring us together for a weekend, then wouldn’t it be true that the death of Jesus, our older brother, would be more than sufficient to bring us together for all time? Stay tuned!

I flew home from Europe just in time to help one of my closest friends cross the threshold of life in this age into the glory of Father’s house. After flying into LA late Sunday afternoon, Sara and I stopped at the house long enough to exchange luggage, get a bit of sleep and then headed to our hold home town 3 hours north of us. Paul Gutierrez was in the final stages of his battle with cancer at home with his wife, Louise. These two have been among our closest friends for the last couple of decades. I didn’t think he would live until I got home, but it seems he waited for me.

Sara and I were there only two hours before it became apparent the end was near. Father had put it on my heart to read Colossians to him from THE MESSAGE, which I did. Sara, Louise and Paul’s two sisters cried our way through it as his breathing slowed. So many of those verses spoke so clearly to what was going on in that room and in Father’s heart. As I ended his breathing slowed appreciably. I grabbed both of his arms, told him that we all loved him and commended him to the glory of the Father. A few short breaths later he stopped breathing and shortly after his pulse stopped. He stepped across the threshold to Eternity and has finally seen him face to face for whom our souls long. I am overjoyed for him and a future day when we will join him there.

But we cried and cried with Louise. She lost her husband of 30 years and Sara and I at least for the time being lost a very close friend. We are not as those who grieve without hope, but we still grieve. We just grieve with the hope that this is not the last word and though our parting is painful a more glorious reunion yet lies ahead. If my time in Ireland was even a fleeting taste of the relationships we’ll have in heaven, then that will be a grand day indeed!

For now, we will all be busy in the next few days helping with arrangements and planning Paul’s memorial gathering on Saturday that I’ve been asked to facilitate. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through that one.

It’s a bit of a whirlwind quite honestly. I usually come home from trips quite wasted and this was no exception. My body clock is way off and I haven’t had a long, deep night’s sleep yet. Exhaustion just hangs at the edges of my consciousness, but I pray God holds me together through this week and does some wonderful things in family and friends as we deal with Paul’s departure from this world. In the meantime I’m falling behind with everything else. Your patience and understanding will be greatly appreciated, as will your prayers….