I remember singing the old hymn, Is Your All On the Altar? and hoping desperately it was. It was a popular song at revival meetings, last day at camp, and those it’s-time-to-repent-and-get-serious-with-Jesus sermons. We’d all go forward, pledge our new-found commitment and then find a few hours, days or weeks later that we’d lost it again. We weren’t completely sold out and we’d just have to try harder.
Honestly now, I think it is one of the traps of the enemy to keep us focused on ourselves instead of living this journey in the freedom of the Spirit where we are transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory. (2 Corinthians 3)
That came up in a recent email exchange that might be of interest to some of you:
My response: I think I see this journey a bit different than you do. I don’t think any of us have completely died and given everything to God… Life with him is a process and hopefully each day more of me dies so that more of him can live through me. I expect that process to continue until he call me home, either through physical death or his physical appearing. Then and only then, when this corruptible puts on incorruptibility will it be said that I am completely his…
Until then we live in the conflict between the old Wayne and the new. Some days I live more freely in him than others. Some days he is letting some of those old things be exposed in me, so that I might learn how to lay them at his feet.
I used to think like you do—that there was some way to be totally surrendered to him. I can only surrender to him today, to the degree that I am aware how to do that. I am much more blessed knowing that is an ongoing process and not having to pretend I’m at its end. That way when new bits of his glory or Wayne’s old nature pop up, I am not discouraged. I am excited to embrace whatever new chapter and new depth he opens for me.