Resting in God’s Ability to Love Others

I got this email yesterday from a friend who is on the journey of learning to live loved after raising his children in the demands of religion. Now adults, some of his children are questioning their religious upbringing and some have become quite accomplished Pharisees. All of them at the moment are going through some very hurtful and desperate circumstances.

In the second to the last chapter of He Loves Me, I related Jesus choice in John 12 to pray the God-save-me-prayer as he faced the cross, or the Father-glorify-your-name prayer. Jesus chose the latter, and he alludes to that in his brief note.

Here’s what he wrote me. I hope it encourages others of you with adult kids to trust God’s ability to win them to his love, more than you trust your own:

The boys do not like to spill all their problems on me but oddly, because I am finally starting to believe in Father’s love, it does not hurt or panic me. I don’t even feel the need for a SAVE ME prayer. Glorify your name settles my heart far better than waiting for God to do some miracle to relieve the pressure. I keep reminding the boys that it is all about learning to live in and trust Father’s Love.

I know they will get there because my oldest daughter (who had her PhD in Pharasieeism) is truly living loved. She has already gone down this road and will tell anyone IF she is wrong about Father’s love she is hopelessly lost because she cannot go back to where she was. I know Father will get them all there in His time. I am finally at a point where I am free from having to prove God’s love for them. He is doing that quite well all by himself. I keep telling them to just watch, and then point out how he is proving His love and care.

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16 Comments
  1. Doni June 4, 2010 at 11:52 am

    That’s sounds EXACTLY like something my Dad would say (hee hee).

  2. Doni June 4, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    That’s sounds EXACTLY like something my Dad would say (hee hee).

  3. Angela June 4, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    I needed this reminder today. My kids are still at home, but they are about to experience some deep heartache. As a mother, I would do anything to spare them. But this is too big for me. Reading this man’s letter, I realized that one of my greatest fears is that they will feel unloved by God and turn away from Him because He isn’t stopping this. But through these words, the Lord reminded me that He is responsible for His relationship with them, and that He can be trusted to show my kids He loves them.

    Thank you for sharing this letter.

  4. Angela June 4, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    I needed this reminder today. My kids are still at home, but they are about to experience some deep heartache. As a mother, I would do anything to spare them. But this is too big for me. Reading this man’s letter, I realized that one of my greatest fears is that they will feel unloved by God and turn away from Him because He isn’t stopping this. But through these words, the Lord reminded me that He is responsible for His relationship with them, and that He can be trusted to show my kids He loves them.

    Thank you for sharing this letter.

  5. Bill Ooms June 5, 2010 at 5:57 am

    I like the part that says “IF she is wrong about Father’s love she is hopelessly lost because she cannot go back to where she was”. That’s one of the great truth’s of the New Testament — if it were not for the Father’s great love for us, there is nothing we can do to save ourselves. Thanks for sharing this!

  6. Bill Ooms June 5, 2010 at 8:57 am

    I like the part that says “IF she is wrong about Father’s love she is hopelessly lost because she cannot go back to where she was”. That’s one of the great truth’s of the New Testament — if it were not for the Father’s great love for us, there is nothing we can do to save ourselves. Thanks for sharing this!

  7. Sue June 5, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    What a great letter, I forget sometimes that Father is able to show His love and reach out to those who needs Him in His time and in His way. He’s the only one that knows what the other person needs and what will bring them to Him, if I can just keep myself out of His way. I still have times of wondering if I’ve said the right thing to someone, or maybe I didn’t say something to them that might have made a difference, I’m learning to let go…but sometimes it’s hard. Thanks for sharing

  8. Sue June 5, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    What a great letter, I forget sometimes that Father is able to show His love and reach out to those who needs Him in His time and in His way. He’s the only one that knows what the other person needs and what will bring them to Him, if I can just keep myself out of His way. I still have times of wondering if I’ve said the right thing to someone, or maybe I didn’t say something to them that might have made a difference, I’m learning to let go…but sometimes it’s hard. Thanks for sharing

  9. Nancy June 6, 2010 at 6:20 am

    This is a wonderful posting, Wayne, thank you! I have a hard time giving up control to Father about my sons too. The phrase I use to remind myself is “He loves them more than I do, so trust Him.” But I like the way your emailer put it: “free from having to prove God’s love for them”. I want that written in my heart.

    And the choice of “save me” vs “glorify God” – wow. Reminds me of Psalm 131 about the soul being a “weaned child”, “quiet before me”. That is a goal of mine as I am learning to trust Father – to be quiet (because of being trustful and relaxed) before Him and not constantly needing to cry out to be saved from stuff!

    Thank you. Your blog and online community and posted readings are so helpful.

  10. Nancy June 6, 2010 at 9:20 am

    This is a wonderful posting, Wayne, thank you! I have a hard time giving up control to Father about my sons too. The phrase I use to remind myself is “He loves them more than I do, so trust Him.” But I like the way your emailer put it: “free from having to prove God’s love for them”. I want that written in my heart.

    And the choice of “save me” vs “glorify God” – wow. Reminds me of Psalm 131 about the soul being a “weaned child”, “quiet before me”. That is a goal of mine as I am learning to trust Father – to be quiet (because of being trustful and relaxed) before Him and not constantly needing to cry out to be saved from stuff!

    Thank you. Your blog and online community and posted readings are so helpful.

  11. Joyce June 8, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. I am sure there are many of us that do, at times, become a little anxious in our endeavors to share the reality of His love for us, and the great freedom ond life that comes from that wonderful truth. I have been questioned about my journey, and I have shared much. But I know and trust that ultimately, Abba Father will make Himself known, in His ways and timing. All I have to do is relax, and share love incarnate.

  12. Joyce June 8, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. I am sure there are many of us that do, at times, become a little anxious in our endeavors to share the reality of His love for us, and the great freedom ond life that comes from that wonderful truth. I have been questioned about my journey, and I have shared much. But I know and trust that ultimately, Abba Father will make Himself known, in His ways and timing. All I have to do is relax, and share love incarnate.

  13. vjn June 9, 2010 at 11:04 pm

    thanks guys, commentators too, it’s great to be reminded that God loves others more than I ever could, and has taken full responsibility for His task to save man kind (including those around me :)). but sometimes even remembering these promises brings my heart to breaking point, because i have no control over it, i seem to be hanging in the balance 24/7, how to let go? because strain in my heart indicates i’m involved in trying to make things happen. since the strain has become so big i tend to let myself slide into sinful things … could it be i am afraid? i think so, the things straining my heart are things that have to do with fears i have, fears that i know how to answer but am too afraid of the answer to want to know it … man i hope i make it …

  14. vjn June 10, 2010 at 2:04 am

    thanks guys, commentators too, it’s great to be reminded that God loves others more than I ever could, and has taken full responsibility for His task to save man kind (including those around me :)). but sometimes even remembering these promises brings my heart to breaking point, because i have no control over it, i seem to be hanging in the balance 24/7, how to let go? because strain in my heart indicates i’m involved in trying to make things happen. since the strain has become so big i tend to let myself slide into sinful things … could it be i am afraid? i think so, the things straining my heart are things that have to do with fears i have, fears that i know how to answer but am too afraid of the answer to want to know it … man i hope i make it …

  15. Nancy June 12, 2010 at 4:56 am

    VJN,
    You ARE going to make it. Jesus has you in his arms, in the palm of his hand, he has put a new heart in you, and loves you with an incredible fierceness and deepness and everlasting-ness that nothing else can match.

    I will pray that you will experience and recognize Father’s great love and presence today, to encourage you.

    As per the recommendation of many, I’m reading Eldredge’s Waking the Dead, and oh I recommend it to you too when you have time!

  16. Nancy June 12, 2010 at 7:56 am

    VJN,
    You ARE going to make it. Jesus has you in his arms, in the palm of his hand, he has put a new heart in you, and loves you with an incredible fierceness and deepness and everlasting-ness that nothing else can match.

    I will pray that you will experience and recognize Father’s great love and presence today, to encourage you.

    As per the recommendation of many, I’m reading Eldredge’s Waking the Dead, and oh I recommend it to you too when you have time!

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