If you have tried to email me over the last 24 hours, I have not received it. The server farm where our websites are located (and which we’ll soon be leaving) were conducting some maintenance and have messed our email. Hopefully none of it is being lost and we’ll eventually get it. If you don’t hear from us in a few days, however, you might want to resend. We are sorry for this inconvenience. Believe me, it is incredibly frustrating on this end of things!
Progress continues both on the refurbished structure and the new building. It’s great to see them making such headway. They hope to complete the building before the rainy season makes work difficult.
We appreciate really for your prayers as well as support so that we may complete this wonderful work as you may see it is very big build enough to accommodate the children with some space for caretakers and social workers. This includes a medical clinic. you will get the whole pictures in few days, This work as gone very quick beyond our expectation, our volunteers are so committed to rush the work along. May the Lord bless you we shall be in touch with the updates.
Thanks to all of you who continue to participate here. We’ve been amazed at how early and graciously people have wanted to be included in this endeavor. For more information on our project here, you can read this earlier blog. If you would like to be part of this to support these brothers and sisters and see the Gospel grow in this part of Africa, please see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560-1 Newbury Rd #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.
I appreciated much of the feedback from people who read my last blog. And my heart hurts for those who do not yet know that there are people around them, probably closer than they think, who are on a very similar journey and hungering for the same kind of contact. I find them everywhere, so I know they are out there.
But as I wander about the planet I notice there are people who are quite relational, willing to engage people around them in conversation, to travel to meet new people on this journey, and are intentional about opening the door to new friendships by taking the initiative in arranging times to get together. Then there are those who wait in hopes that friendships will come to them. The former have lots of people in their lives, the latter have very few. Until we become the friend we want to have, we will stay rather isolated.
I know this is scary for some people, but honestly, relationships won’t come to you; you have to go to them. All our coping mechanisms of the flesh isolate us by making us defensive around people we don’t know and don’t trust. If grace does anything in us, it makes us more relational people, willing to take the risk to engage others in conversation, even if the relationship goes no where. Spiritual growth makes us willing to risk an evening just to get to know someone, and even rejection if in the end they don’t want to know us better.
If you want the conversations of community you have to go looking, sampling scores of relationships to find those half a dozen that become the most meaningful to you. When I travel around I meet lots of people on this journey, and often the room is filled with people the others don’t know. During the day, I meet lots of people in that room I’d love to know better if I only lived in that area. But what amazes me is how little contact between those people goes beyond my time there. Obviously they were there only to meet or hear me, when there were so many other treasures of God in the room that they could be walking with now if someone would have taken the risk to provide an opportunity to grow the relationship.
What seems to be true is that people are either content with the friendships they have, or they just don’t want to risk their comfort zone to get to know others better. I even find people when I travel who would like to schedule time with me personally if they can, but don’t want to come to a gathering of people they don’t know. Usually they have some kind of excuse, but deep down it’s just that they are uncomfortable coming to a strange home or finding out the arrangements. I’m afraid our comfort zones will always isolated places to dwell.
If you don’t make yourself available first, you will have little to choose from because most people are not going to initiate it with you. It’s never easy to take the risk, but the rewards are worth it. Just don’t think you’ll connect with everyone. You won’t. But those that do become friends are well-worth the search. It’s like looking for a job. You wouldn’t sit home hoping one comes to you. You have to go look, to interview, to be turned down, maybe forty or fifty times in this economy to find a job. What if that’s true of friends? Are they worth investing some time and intentionality?
If the body of Christ is going to connect in our day, it’s because God transforms people to having a greater relational priority than to simply do their jobs and chores each week. The greatest treasures in this earth are people. That includes our neighbor next door and the person in the cubicle across from us. If we just start loving the people around us, whether or not they are on a similar spiritual journey, we will eventually find ourselves overwhelmed with friends and fellow-travelers and maybe people who don’t know God yet, who might see his love in us.
I refuse to give into the notion that some of us are relational and some of us aren’t. I agree that it may be easier for some and more of a risk for others, but that’s usually because some have been taking the risk for so long they are no longer uncomfortable with it. But I am convinced that finding God’s love will free you to love people more freely.
If you want the conversations of community, realize they are the fruit of living relationally. Not every contact will produce community, but it is certainly true that if I’m not growing any relationships, I’ll never find it.
I had an awesome time last week with a number of brothers and sisters up on Vancouver Island, one of the truly lovely spots on the planet. We got a chance to process lots of various topics that they are thinking through in their transition from living a performance-based Christianity to an affection-based life in Christ. I find conversations around the Fatherhood of God, the work of Christ and how we live that out in our daily lives to be incredibly compelling, even if I am in similar conversations every week of my life.
The language of real community is real and compelling, far better than any kind of contrived entertainment. That’s why I react so when well-meaning people jump on the language of obligation to describe the relationships and gatherings of believers. Obligation is the language of religion. It wallows in the selfishness of “what we need” instead of inviting us into the irresistability of real relationships and passionate dialog. Only in the conversation of community can people really discover what God has already put in their hearts and be real enough to ask whatever question they need to ask and be challenged in their thinking beyond the status quo.
Here are a couple of examples of what the conversation of community triggers in people. The first I received after returning from a recent trip by someone who was part of our conversations:
I want to know you better–to meet your wife, to experience your world, to hear more about your journey. I love the way you challenge me and the way I feel safe wrestling openly in your presence. I want to learn more from you, experience more of Him beside you, ask more of you, and share more of my life with you. I want to celebrate more of what He’s done–and is continuing to do–among & through us. He blows me away every day and I’m drawn like a magnet to others who are passionate about discovering Him and worshiping Him together.
There are people in my life that I feel that way about as well. Being with them is never an obligation; it is an absolute joy and the fruit of it is to go back to life and live with a greater grasp on the Truth and greater freedom to live in grace.
Here’s another letter I published years ago from someone in Texas who was waking up to this reality:
It’s OK to question what I need to question, ask what I need to ask and struggle where I struggle. I’ve learned that I am not rewarded for pretending to be better than I am, but that experiencing the life of God means that I am loved through the ups and downs, hurts and joys, and doubts as well as triumphs. Instead of exploiting people’s shame or need for approval to try and make them better Christians, I encourage people to go to God for healing and restoration from shame so they can experience for themselves the love of God. Instead of loading others up with a list of `shoulds’, I tell people that God is working by “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus” and his greatest desire is to communicate with them. I talk about learning “how to” listen to God and follow what he puts on their heart even if that means they make a mistake doing so. Instead of trying to change people I urge them to get to know Christ as life because it’s so much fun (and far more effective) watching him change them. Instead of manipulating others to do what I think would benefit me and my definition of God’s will for them, I’m learning how to trust Christ as my resource for what I need.
The conversations of community lead the most awesome engagements on this planet, be it with a mature believer or the newest member of the family, or even someone still lost in the world. Where people aspire to grow in grace and truth, and have the freedom to discuss it without fear or the need to manipulate others, the possibilities are truly limitless. Participating in them is not what I need to do; it’s what I simply refuse to live without.
New pictures have arrived from Kenya. I can’t begin to describe the overwhelming gratefulness that fills my heart looking at these pictures, knowing that so many people from all over the world have generously participated to help provide this setting for a group of children living in a slum in Eldoret. That has combined with the spirited work of the Kenyan people make their dream a reality. Last week we were able to send an additional $20,000.00 to help buy the materials and pay the workers to complete the construction.
To date we have sent $73,000.00 to buy the land and help refurbish it. We’re not sure how much more will be needed at this point because of the fluctuating prices of building materials, but we are hopefully getting close. We also wanted to provide two years of salary for the orphanage staff to make time for them to find a way to cover those costs in the future. Our desire has been to help them see Father as their provider and not allow our help to become a source of dependence on the West. That has been their desire as well.
I just received this from our contact there:
The honor and glory let it return to God and we give Him all glory and the honor for His name and His love endure forever. We stand before Him through His grace and love which He selected us that we might become blameless before Him. About living Loved Christ Hope Care Centre the work has started some days ago and people are working tirelessly. We have even our brothers and sisters here volunteering just only getting lunch so that this work may be completed quick as possible before the rain starts So this work must be completed in one month.
Thank you very much, we withdraw the whole money and we have managed to buy the materials and handed over to the contractor to pay out for other workers. The price changed a little for a metal pass for foundation and for the timber, which increased the price due to transportation the fuel and concrete as gone up triple, but the other things the price has remain the same. Sorry for this unexpected a raising issue. We are having hope that the children will get in soon as possible. We shall be giving you the updates for every step, Sammy is working with the team while I am out for moment. Also I have tried to put a side other things so that we may work for this orphanage until it may be completed.
Another idea the is our neighbor around the orphanage who came the time we were building, he has ten acres of land and he wanted to lease for anybody who may desire for three years, then the contract will be renewed. One acre he lease for 6,000 Ksh ($74) so ten acres is 60,000 Kshs ($740) times three is 18,000Ksh ($220). I didn’t promise him but I told him that we are going to pray and share with you about this issue. The land is very good and fertile for growing maize and beans for the orphanage.
Thanks to all of you who continue to participate here. We’ve been amazed at how early and graciously people have wanted to be included in this endeavor.
For more information on our project here, you can read this earlier blog. If you would like to be part of this to support these brothers and sisters and see the Gospel grow in this part of Africa, please see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560-1 Newbury Rd #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.
I got this email today from a friend, Michael Simpson who has been a missionary in Russia for the last season of his life. But now they are back in the States as God has taken their life a bit of a different direction. I love this, what they have learned and how God has asked them to live. What I really appreciate is how much more effective they are in God’s purpose outside the “job” of a ministry:
God has led us in some very interesting directions. By June, I will change my status and leave my salaried position. I’ve recently been working as an executive coach simply helping people with their goals, character, relationships and balance in life seems to always lead to meaningful spiritual conversations, and deep spiritual change for those that have that desire. It’s interesting, and frankly a little sad, how that was always my greatest passion as a business executive, but I thought I had to become a missionary to do it full time.
After six years in Russia, what I’ve realized is that I didn’t need an organization, a particular structure, or a particular “calling” to a group of people or geography to live my life in that amazingly fulfilling and purposeful way. God had already given me everything I needed with His Spirit to guide me into the conversations and relationships that he willed. What I did in Russia as a missionary was exactly what I did in America as an executive, but dragging around all the baggage that a salaried missions worker carries. It’s just MUCH more difficult to get over the trust barriers when you are being paid to talk to someone about God.
My wife and I will continue to visit Russia, but as business people, not missionaries. We are now setting up a business there, as an extension of our U.S. coaching business. This group of life and business coaches I work with want to help believers in very corrupt societies, like Russia, become coaches to help develop the character and even spiritual lives of business people there, but doing it through legitimate businesses, not fronts for ministry. After all, isn’t life ministry?I have begun to abhor the false delineation the church has put on ministry vs. life. I have seen first-hand the negative effects on young believers who think they can’t serve God without being “IN” ministry, instead of simply being IN relationship and following Father’s whispers to wherever he leads. As an example, one of the greatest impacts to the people we’ve been helping in Russia for so many years is telling them the stories of changed lives and great spiritual conversations with the people we do business with, live near, and bump into at the grocery store. Our little seasonal chocolate business has created so many relationships and friendships and the most Spirit-guided conversations I could ever hope for.
The result has been that the Russians we know have realized that we were in Russia helping them grow in their relationship with Father because of our relationship with Father – not because of our job and organization. It has clearly inspired them to live similarly. Sadly, as a missionary, I could never have gotten that message across so credibly as when I was living it as a “normal” person filled with the Spirit of God, working out life and relationships just like them. Ironically, us being with them less has influenced them more. I’ve found they didn’t need ME as much as they needed my example.
Thanks again for slinging freedom (and) letting us know that it is okay to go with what we really sense in our spirit, has created great freedom to live as listeners who do not ignore what they hear. It certainly is never boring living that way, and there are WAY less politics to deal with.
I know this makes people nervous who are or who want to be in “full time ministry”, but what this unmasks is the myth that you’ll be more effective there, or that we all who follow Jesus aren’t at his disposal every moment of every day touching people he gives us. How he resources our lives is not the issue. It’s living as an expression of Jesus however he invites us to do that and however he chooses to provide for our lives and families. As one who has been free in this season to live with a full-time availability to Jesus, I’m not threatened by letters like this; I’m deeply blessed. When ministry was “job” for me, rather than the result of a fullness in my own life, I was far less helpful to others.
“I’ve found they didn’t need ME as much as they needed my example.” Those words just leap off the page. I love that line, that insight and that freedom!
I leave tomorrow for a weekend trip up to Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada. It should be a lot of fun hanging out with some people I’ve yet to meet who are on this journey of living loved. There’s always an anticipation in my heart about where our conversations might lead and what God might show us.
On my recent trip to Austin, this is how one of those who came to our Friday night meeting summed up what God did in him:
I just wanted to thank you for your time and insights that you shared with us in Austin. I really appreciated how you facilitated the conversation (without) telling us what we should/should not do and not trying to be the answer man. Much of what you shared really helped me to hear from Father in fresh ways. To be honest I came into the weekend without any real expectations, which is something very different for me. I am thankful to Father for giving me an openness that I have not exhibited in the past when I was too busy trying to control the outcomes. What I found interesting was that even though I had pretty much heard much of what you shared through your books, teachings or podcasts, I HEARD them in a different way. It was just like some things clicked in place for me that God has been leading me towards for awhile. I just could not have articulated it.
What came through to me was community/relationships are not a meeting. I think that I have always had that backwards. I can now see how even as I made the transition from traditional church to a house church and then to a group with infrequent meetings, I had still been carrying around the idea that community happens at a specified meeting. I know God has been leading me out of the mindset for a long time, but particularly over the past year and a half as we have found ourselves meeting less and less. This has been a difficult change for me and I have felt at times lonely, frustrated, angry and abandoned. But thankfully He has always provided grace for me and helped me to resist seeking after something else just to fill that void.
As I look back I know I have missed many opportunities to forge relationships, encourage others and love them because I was too worried about what I was not getting. Father has brought to mind several times over the last few weeks the Message’s translation of Matthew 7:12, “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.” I think if I had focused more on giving rather than getting, I would not have been so wrapped up in seeking “community” because I would have been helping to forge it with others. Despite my failures, He has been so loving and kind to bring about many wonderful relationships with people. You encouraged me and helped me see more clearly the road He has already been leading us down.
I love the insights that surfaced in his heart beyond anything we talked about specifically. If that’s the kind of work God does in people when I’m hanging out with them, that makes all the travel worthwhile. Learning to live in him is the real joy for all of us.
I found out an interview I did with a new-found friend at the Dallas House Church Conference Last April has just been posted on line. Dave Bilbrough is a troubadour for the Jesus from the UK with a guitar and a passion to help people connect with God. He did an iPhone interview with me after the conference that he just posted on his blog. It’s about truly living loved and breaking free of the performance mentality that makes us think we have to earn that love. I enjoyed this brother’s heart, his journey, and his gift of music.
I just discovered that someone in Mexico is translating some of our articles into Spanish. Unfortunately I can read any of it to know what’s all there, but if you know people who want to read these articles in Spanish, please check it out. We have also posted the PDFs of those articles on our International Page. There you will also find a complete listing of International translations of my books and articles.
I just saw this quote in someone’s email today. Love it! It shows how bright some of those “older saints” were.
“No one heals himself by wounding another.” Ambrose of Milan
Every thing we do in this world has the potential to do immeasurable damage to people or bring immeasurable healing to them. The most dangerous among us are those who think they have to hurt others to get what they think makes them whole. The problem is the act of wounding may do even more damage to the one doing the wounding than it does to the one wounded! You don’t find healing by tearing down others, you just find more pain.
The world generates enough damage of its own with out those of us who are seeking to follow Christ adding to it. Live loved and love others the same way he loves you.