Wayne Jacobsen

I usually take this space to encourage others who are on this incredible journey of living deeply in God’s life and learn to share that relationally with others. I want to use it today for a bit of personal reflection and to ask for your prayers.

As many of you know I’ve stayed a bit closer to home this fall, feeling like God wanted me to step back from the busyness and complications that this journey has become. I had no idea what he had in mind, but having never had the desire to travel I found it an easy obedience. Any day I don’t drive through LA traffic or have to endure an airport security line is a good one. As 2004 draws do an end so does our tenth year at Lifestream. During that time I’ve had the joy of spending time with brothers and sisters all over the world in various stages of this journey—from just seeing the light at the beginning of the tunnel, to those walking in maturity and grace that has taught me so much.

It has been incredible season. My relationship with God has been strengthened and deepened in ways I could not have imagined. He has freshly introduced me to living in his rest, which I didn’t even know I’d lost in all the travel and trying to maintain three websites. He has also been expanding the borders of my freedom in kicking out some old fences that have long constrained me on this journey. I am so grateful. If you want to hear more of that process, listen to our Teaching of the Month which was recorded this past Sunday and expresses my heart in more detail.

It has also been a time to lay at the Lord’s feet these things we call Lifestream and BridgeBuilders to see what his pleasure would be with both of them in days ahead. And while I hoped this season would also lead to some fresh direction for my life vocationally, it has led to far less. It seems Father is inviting me more and more to walk in the simplicity of each day, pursuing the passion he puts on my heart and watching as his work unfolds. Instead of coming away with a fresh vision for Lifestream or BridgeBuilders I come away knowing that those are only tools in his hands. He is not asking me to build up those things, but to stay flexible in him and only use them in ways that will help others live this journey as well.

And in some time this past weekend with those brothers and sisters who share these things with me most directly, Jess only affirmed that we are to aggressively give our lives away to help people know the Father as he really is and to equip them to live as his church in this age. He wants us even freer to follow wherever he leads and to be more dependent on his provision in the going. To that end we felt he asked us to release He Loves Me as a free PDF download so that its message can travel around the world unrestrained and people can have access to it free of charge.

We have also put 84 hours of my audio teaching in mp3 format into a new Lifestream SuperDisc so that people can have access to those resources for only $25.00 plus shipping. We hope that will help equip and inspire many to sort out with Father how he is asking them to live in him and share that life with others.

It also means I will pick up traveling again in the New Year. Books and CDs can only take people so far. Taking the time to help people more personally in small groups and in one-on-one encounters are the most significant way Jesus modeled for us to pass this life on to others. As much as God has used others to expand my heart and encourage my life in him, I want to continue to do that for others. I’m not sure how all of this will sort out. I sense there are some new doors around the corner that I can’t even conceive today. I am completely at rest knowing that he will make them clear in his time.

It’s amazing how God has already confirmed these things through a number of other people, including some from overseas who are delighted to have access to He Loves Me. We have no idea how God will provide for these things, but he has demonstrated his faithfulness to do so over these last ten years. Sara and I do covet your prayers, however, for the clarity of Father’s direction and the courage to follow him wherever he leads us. That is also our prayer for you.

A good friend from near Dublin sent me some reflections on the closing of Dublin’s most famous coffee house, Bewleys. Among the recollections of special times there with his Dad and even with an older brother in Christ who helped disciple him, was this paragraph:

I loved the line “from Bewleys to martyrdom, not for the tragedy it evokes but how the simplest expressions of fellowship can lead us to the greatest depths of his life. Simple fellowship borne of hearts on a common journey can have the most profound impacts on our journey.

Some days it comes together very nicely. I began a fresh read through Philippians today, again in The Message, and came across an interesting point in chapter one. “There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There’s also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.” Is this not an amazing view of suffering? How can it be as much a gift as those moments when he wins our trust?

To live that way one has to have his or her eye set far beyond our temporal comfort or convenience. It has to be set so deeply in God, that we recognize in those moments of extremity that God is all we have, and having him we have far more than enough. Paul just didn’t talk that way he lived it.

A few moments later I was reading in That They May All Be One, Even as We Are One, an outstanding transcript of some talks T. Austin-Sparks gave at the end of his journey to some believers in the Philippines. Here’s what I read this morning:

When Paul wrote this letter to the Philippians, he wrote it from prison. As we have said, he was waiting for the sentence of death. He was no longer able to travel about the world preaching. He was no longer able to visit his beloved people in all parts of the world. A lot of his friends had left him. There was not much that he could do in a public way now. All that is at an end. So that it was not the churches and it was not the works; it was the Lord Jesus. Paul’s life was not just his work. It was not just his traveling about all over the world preaching. When all those things were taken away, he says, ‘I am still going on.’

‘This one thing I do, I press on. Take away my work, I am going on with the Lord. Take away my friends, I am going on with the Lord. Take away my liberty, I am still going on with the Lord.’

How great a Lord he must be!

So what else is there? In overwhelming joy and debilitating pain, let us go on with the Lord. When God provides tons of incredible fellowship, or none, let us go on with the Lord. Whether we are in times of refreshing or times of intense struggle, let us go on with the Lord. When we have lots of opportunity to share his life or none at all, let us go on with the Lord.

Even in the face of certain death, Paul found no greater joy than his longing to know the Lord and even admitted that it was far better for him to finally see him face-to-face than to continue to live on in this age. When the Lord Jesus becomes our sole reason for being, there is only life in him today, and greater life in him to come.

For those in the US, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving weekend. This one was special with our new granddaughter. We got in lots of family time in. It has been so good to be home over such a long stretch. It is something I haven’t had the pleasure of doing for many years.

I found myself in Psalm 19 over the weekend, reading in The Message when I came across this verse:

I love the freshness of a new morning and love it most starting it with Father and a slate wiped clean by the cleansing stream of his forgiveness. I like unwrapping days like Christmas presents from a close friend, with the delight of seeing what this one will bring to pass. I am always anxious to see how he will make himself known, not only in those moments I’m surprised by joy but also in those moments where God appears in the midst of my pain and trials. It’s an amazing thing that we get to taste his mercies brand new every morning.

But what really hit me in this verse was David’s description of stupid sins, and then describes one I have known all to well in my spiritual journey—“…thinking I can take over your work.” I laughed out loud when I read it. I’ve never noticed it called a stupid sin before, but it certainly is. This sin doesn’t prey on our intentional indulgences. It preys on our forgetfulness. It makes us plunge headlong into something God has begun in our life thinking we know enough now to take it over on our own. My biggest messes have come from Wayne taking over some wonderful thing God has begun, thinking I can do God a favor by taking it on from here.

Oh, for the grace each day to recognize the difference between God’s work and mine—to simply do what he has asked me to do and watch his purpose unfold, rather than assume I know and try to do for myself that which only God can do. I think the greatest deterrent to people walking this journey is the overestimation of our own capabilities. We’re seduced by Ben Franklin’s dictum, that “God helps those who help themselves.” I’m always amazed and a bit disappointed that he lets me take over so easily. And like a young child with a new gadget he thinks he already knows how to use, I usually end up breaking it. And like a tender Father, he finds a way to mend my mess and give me a fresh start.

Father, save me today from the stupid sin of thinking I can take over your work. Let me simply live freely in you today and simply respond as you desire to that which you’ve already begun in my life.

I got this desperate plea to a recent blog about a conversation with someone on my article Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore.

MaryAnn, my heart goes out to you. I know you’re in a tough spot and I don’t have near the details or firsthand knowledge to know how to advise you specifically, but I can give you some things to think through:

• God wouldn’t put this passion on your heart and let you see what you see if he did not have a way to lead you through this to greater freedom. Get alone somewhere and lay it all at his feet. Ask him to show you what to do and when to do it and watch him make it clear to you as situations unfold. Don’t look for others to tell you what to do, but for him to lead you step by step.


• The reason we often aren’t honest with people is because we’re afraid—of their reaction, of the consequences, or the position they hold in our lives. This isn’t easy, but Paul said the only way we will grow up as the body is to speak the truth lovingly to each other. The reason people keep doing the stupid things they do in God’s name is because people are afraid to speak out and usually only do so when the anger builds up enough that they have no choice. This rarely yields the fruit of the kingdom. Better to do it when love for the person overcomes our fear, rather than our anger at feeling trapped. It’s amazing what being honest with our hearts will do to put us on paths we never considered before and even limit our options so we can more clearly follow Jesus. The path to follow him is often painful. He warned us it would be and that some of our closest friends wouldn’t understand. But the freedom to be true to ourselves and what he is doing in us is one of the greatest freedoms he offers.


• I applaud your desire to walk with your husband through this. Keep talking and praying and see what God does to make your hearts one. Don’t push him, but also let him know that this is a critical issue going on in your life and you’re hopeful that you will be able to find a way through this together. Too many spouses end up on different journeys here because they don’t know how to invite the other along without manipulating them. You do want to go together as much as you both are able through these things and even stay where he is a bit longer until God makes it clear as well. There is grace for these things.


• I know you see these issues of church life as black and white. I do too! But when I talk about them with others who don’t see what I see, that kind of language puts them on the defensive and closes the door to effective communication. Even about things I’m most certain about I’ll say something like, “I know I could be nuts here, but this is what I think Jesus is asking me to do;” or “I’m feeling called to something a bit different here.” That way they get to listen to what I’m saying and consider it without feeling that I’ve taken a superior position and judging them. Only in very rare instances of God’s direct leading, will I make a definitive statement of right and wrong because in the end I know that hardens more hearts than it softens. I don’t want to harden any hearts God isn’t hardening. I know people can’t see the incredible freedom that Christ has made available to us until they see it. I can live it, without making them do so as well, or feeling judged by my actions.

I don’t know if that helps, Mary Ann, but I know God is big enough to sort these things out in you and lead you in his path. And to that end you have my prayers.

I’m just getting around to posting this because of all the excitement around here. Last week, David Hebden, a brother from Vancouver Island, British Columbia posted a list of questions last week to the Lifestream Community that I thought were worth a second and third look. As I recall these sprang to mind while he was on a walk in the woods with his dogs.

I love the wonder of them. I love how they recapture our sense of relationship with God and our humility as he sorts these things out in us. They made me trust more in Father’s work in my life and smile when I think of him. My hope is that they inspire you as well. So with his permission…

Last night at 10:34 p.m. Julie gave birth at last to Aimee Noelle Willliams after more than 26 hours of labor. Aimee came posterior, which means she was face up and face down which makes the birth canal much more difficult and painful to navigate. The medical staff was at the point of considering a C-section when Julie was finally able to push her free. Both mom and baby (and dad and grandparents) are doing fantastic!

I have never admired my daughter’s courage, tenacity and strength more than I did over the last two days. Sara was with her and Tyler throughout the entire birthing process and spilled out of the room last night overwhelmed with joy when Aimee finally arrived. Sara and I stayed on until 1:00 at Tyler’s request and I got to hold her a bunch. She is so expressive, busy and has the same dimple on her chin that her mother and I do!

What a joy. We are so grateful for what God has done in this whole process. It was long, and difficult, but has made our joy all the sweeter to hold her in our arms and to share Tyler and Julie’s absolute joy! >/p>

We have had another situation affect the emotions of this weekend. Sara’s principal at the school where he works had a massive heart attack at a playoff football game on Friday night and died in the same hospital later that night that we were in with Julie, though we did not know it. Sara and her boss were close, as he was with all the staff and students. He will be deeply missed and we covet your prayers this week for her school. Life is strange, isn’t it? Life and death in the same weekend. Great joy and unspeakable tragedy… Please pray for his wife. Her mother died less than a month ago and this was totally unforeseen. Pray too for her school this week as well.

I’ve been enjoying Ephesians again this week. What a book! What a glorious invitation into Father’s purpose for us in the world by being connected to this living, breathing family called the church. To enjoy that, however, we have to be connected with God’s purpose in our own lives. Church is not a substitute for God’s presence it’s the life people who know him can share together. Why do so many people miss it?

Perhaps Ephesians 2 gives us a hint. In the first part of the chapter Paul writes, “You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live.” (The Message) Isn’t that true? When we didn’t know God we let the world tell us how to live by pursuing pleasure, comfort and possessions, driven by our fears and our appetites and grasping for whatever made us feel secure. How wasted that life is.

He finishes Ephesians 2 with this phrase; “This kingdom of faith is now your home country… You belong here!” The more we live connected to God the freer we are to be at home in him and instead of living in fear, we get to learn the joy of living securely in his love and his unfolding purpose in our lives. This kingdom of faith becomes a welcomed home for us instead of foreign territory. People growing in their love for Father and the joy of learning to live with increasing trust in him will find instant fellowship with each other. Without it, we’re just left to religious theories and activities that run us ragged without bearing any fruit in our lives.

One man wrote me recently about a house church he gathers with and made a poignant comment: “I wonder if many of them have become used to talking about the theories of these truths, but not really taken to heart the practice of them. Not that I have either… I have contemplated things like this for years and only recently made more of an actual change of mind heart and actions to walk this out.” I think religion does that to us. It preoccupies us with theory while we miss the journey of living in an increasing awareness of his reality each day.”

I am also just starting a book highly recommended to me by someone from Australia. After perusing it on Amazon, I decided to buy it. Look what I found this morning:

The book is called Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Don Miller. I haven’t read enough of it to recommend it yet, but I like what I’ve read so far. I appreciate anyone who sees his or her Christian experience as growing engagement with the reality of the Father, not an endless discussion over theories or an fruitless observance of ritual.

Come on! Jump on in! The water is incredible!

I visited a house church in Fullerton, CA over the weekend who has been on an interesting journey outside the walls of what most people call church. Recently the guy who is the ‘pastor’ of the church organization he left nine months back wrote to ask how “house church” was going. This is how he replied:

For the last few days I’ve been working on the finishing touches to a new article, entitled Healing the Cultural Divide. It is a retrospective on the recent presidential election for my BridgeBuilders website. You can read the article here and view some interesting maps that provide an interesting perspective on the cultural divide. Here are a couple of excerpts from the article.

For those of you who do not know about BridgeBuilders it is my consulting and mediating services to help resolve cultural and religions conflicts in public education. The article above was written for public school board members and administrators to help them see beyond the politics of polarization and work for a greater common good. Just last week I received an email from one the faithful readers of this blog alerting me to a new gay endorsement curriculum being forced on a Virginia school district. Unless we work proactively to ensure that public education is fair to all, we will lose our voice in the public forum.

I hope you enjoy the full article. If you think it has merit for your school officials why don’t you consider emailing the link (http://www.bridge-builders.org/RCW11.04.html) to school board members, superintendents and principals in your school district (and even county or state education officials as well). Include a personal note that you found this article to be a helpful resource and hope your school district would take these ideas seriously. You can usually find their email addresses on the school website under ‘board’ or ‘administration.’ Recommendations from constituents in their own district often hold a lot of weight.

Still no grandchild yet! It looked like she was going to be early, but has now decided to take her own sweet time. We’ll love her whenever she gets here.