What is your and Sara's secret for a seemingly perfect relationship? (I sense your laughter). I'm sure it's not perfect, but you both at least appear to be on the same path with the Lord. I am thinking of my own relationship with my wife and how I wish we were together on this journey into deeper and real body life. I have given her the option to go back to our (former congregation) but she won't. I feel like I have robbed her of what made her happy. How I wish we were together on this journey.


Our 'secret' sounds like its something we have done, and we both look at it as a gift from Father. We know many couples that are not on the same page on this journey and we hurt for them. We know it is not easy having different insights into God's working and how frustrating that can be. I wonder if the 'Incredible Father' parable (formerly, the Prodigal Son) doesn't have some bearing here. The father and the son were not on the same page and he allowed his son (even paid for it) to run to the end of his perspective until he saw how bankrupt it was. When one partner grows disillusioned with traditional church before the other one does, they can often prevent the other one from seeing it in their time.

If Sara were not supportive of the way I want to relate to the body right now, I would go with her to whatever she felt comfortable with. I would genuinely support her involvement (that would take a lot of God transforming me). I wouldn't get too deeply involved in all the management needs that usually consume a place like that but I'd encourage her to, if she wanted. I'd share my journey with her without picking apart what she enjoys. I'd seek to understand how it touches her and celebrate the positives with her. I'd let God lead her at her own pace, and put my relationship with Sara above any particular way I'd prefer to experience church.

In the meantime, I'd still live out a relational church in early-morning meetings, lunches and gatherings at other times. I think the best part of relational church is that it can be incredibly flexible. We can do what we do anytime, so that we are in a better place to 'serve' those who are more locked into rigid institutions.

As people genuinely seek to celebrate their partner's journey, they are more easily able to celebrate where we are. When we get people to try to see what we see, we usually push them deeper into the very thing we'd hope they would walk away from.

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