How do you fit the scripture Eph. 4:11 about the five-fold ministry that is preached and taught in so many churches today into the relational church?
Five-Fold Ministries I'm not sure how to take on a question like this since I think you have to twist this Scripture a whole lot to make it fit into more institutional environments which is why after 2000 years we still don't have it right there. Perhaps the main difference between institutional and relational is how we view 'leadership'. Traditional environments see it as management, where men and women exist to organize the body and tell folks what to do. In relational environments
Read Ephesians 4:11-14 carefully and there is no management function ascribed to these 'gifts.' Instead they are people who have the ability and disposition to help other saints be equipped to the fullness of knowing Jesus and fulfilling his purpose for them in the world. That's an equipping function not a management one. In fact, most of these five-fold types I've met in the last 10 years of my journey refuse to accept management functions in the institutional environment because they see how it undermines the very desire they have to see people released to be all Jesus wants them to be.
I meet these folks everywhere. They are men and women who demonstrate by their lives and character (read peacefulness, gentleness, humility) that they don't need to control anyone, but only want to help others know Jesus better and be transformed by his life as well. They would never think of trying to substitute for Jesus' presence in someone else's life, nor think that people exist to fulfill THEIR ministry.
You'll find them around your life when you need them most. Very gently they'll offer you choices to follow and encourage you to go after the best Jesus has for you. But they will not push or manipulate nor grow defensive when questioned or challenged. But they can simply speak a word or ask a question that causes your eyes to open a bit wider to see more of Jesus and his work in you.