The Best Kind of Friend

Love this quote and thought I’d pass it along today:

When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Henri J. M. Nouwen  Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life

As always when I share stuff like that, I’m not thinking, “Wow, I’ve got to find friends like that,” but rather, “That’s the kind of friend I want to be.”

Unfortunately more people seem to want to have friends rather than be friends. That’s why there’s a dearth of amazing friendships in this broken world.

Find someone to love today and love them well.  See what God does.

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4 Comments
  1. Janet House September 16, 2016 at 3:35 am

    That article put into words what I have experienced this week. Thank you!
    We are moving house to another area (after 12 very happy years) and I have “accidentally” been revisiting old places and old friends. I have said a lot of goodbyes!
    I revisited my previous house where my children had grown up, the cats had had their kittens, and my husband had died. I thought it would tear my heart out to be where my beloved had died – but it didn’t. I came away with tremendously happy memories of all my friends and neighbours (some believers and some not) who had come on the “ride” with me!
    One lady mowed the grass and flowers sprang up in the garden.
    A 94 year old lady, and her daughter, did my supermarket shop every week.
    Dirty washing vanished and came back clean and ironed.
    Our GP gave me a bear hug.
    Delicious meals appeared in the fridge.
    I lost my male carer one morning. I found him, eventually, out in the garden – sobbing! That touched my heart more than I can express.
    I thank all these (and so many more) dear people for leaving their mark on my life and blessing us sooo much.
    I praise our wonderful Father God for helping me to see His hand in it ALL.
    It has been quite a week!
    I have been shown the best friendship ever.

  2. Karon September 16, 2016 at 9:55 am

    I love this post Wayne! I have been praying with the same four women for 15 years. These journey companions have walked close and seen my stuff, yet still love me unconditionally. As my husband and I walk through the most difficult path ever known to us in 34 years of marriage, they were there, extending cups of cold water in Jesus’ name. Instead of shame, they offered acceptance, even though it would understandable for them to have rejected. Instead of judgment, they showered us with grace. A dear friend of mine has often said, “you can’t shame anyone into positive change.” So true. The kindness of God leads one to repentance, like between the Jewish father with his prodigal in Luke’s gospel, or the kindness Jesus gifted to the tax collector who stood beating his chest near the Pharasee, or my favorite, the thief on the cross. A person I love deeply was completely turned off a path of self-destruction because of God’s grace and compassion, not because of fearing hell. I think this is what I’m learning the most from revisiting Lifestream. Love indeed, casts out fear.

    • Wayne Jacobsen September 16, 2016 at 9:57 am

      So true, Karon. Love this.

  3. Wayne R September 18, 2016 at 7:39 am

    There is a Jewish tradition called “Sitting Shiva” that is characterized in my mind as some one sitting silently in a chair outside a grieving friends home waiting for the opportunity to be of service. I have long had a desire to be able to be that kind of friend but have yet to get past the “sitting silent” part.

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