[Note: I will be in Toronto next weekend, August 28-30. If you’d like to join me there, here are the details. Also, the need in Kenya we’ve been discussing over the last couple of weeks has been fully met. Thanks for your generosity.]
Last weekend, Sara and I attended a Patient and Family Briefing of the International Myeloma Foundation to learn more about my cancer and the treatment options should it relapse in the future. While we were there, God may have opened some doors to help the Foundation provide a process of spiritual care for people who are suddenly shocked to discover they have a life-threatening disease. That got me thinking about how I’ve seen Jesus help people through a crisis of faith brought on by desperate circumstances. At 4:00 in the morning last Saturday, I found myself outlining the process I keep in mind when I walk alongside someone whose trust in God has been compromised by tragedy. I share about that on this week’s podcast, which you can listen to here.
But I want to share that process here, so people won’t have to take notes through the podcast to see whether they find it helpful for themselves or someone they love. This is not a formal program or a set of steps to complete. It is a flexible set of guidelines that can be shaped around the unique journey of each person or small group. For some, that journey may unfold over a few months; for others, it may take a year or more.
Even though there are five different topics, they are not meant to be followed in a rigid order. They will overlap and weave together as people learn to live with the realities of the disease or disaster while also making room for grief, questions, trust, and hope. The goal is not to “fix” anyone or resolve every spiritual question, but to create space for people to honestly process what has happened, rediscover God’s presence within it, and find their way toward a more honest and resilient faith.
When Faith Gets Challenged
1. Find a safe, nonjudgmental space for honest reflection.
It could be with a support group, friend, or counselor, but find those with whom you can share how your diagnosis has shaken your faith, your assumptions about God, or your sense of safety. Look for people who won’t rush to defend God or resolve your tension; they will simply offer a caring heart and a listening ear.
2. Let yourself face what has changed.
Make room for the grief, fear, anger, loss, and uncertainty that the diagnosis has brought. Faith doesn’t minimize pain or pretend everything is fine.
3. Invite God into the questions.
Rather than suppressing your questions, wrestle with them openly. The goal isn’t to find tidy answers, but to discover how God is present with you as you explore the questions you bring to him.
· Did he do this to me?
· Am I being punished for something I did wrong?
· Is he allowing this to teach me something?
· How can I trust God when he didn’t protect me from this?
· Others?
4. Look for God within this new reality
Where do you sense transcendence, presence, tenderness, beauty, companionship, or unexpected grace? Trust can begin to recover when we sense that God’s posture toward us is not accusation or indifference, but something more like:
· “I’m sorry you are going through this.”
· “I love you, and I see you.”
· “You are not alone, even when you feel like you are.”
· “Let me help you navigate the road ahead.”
· Others?
5. Learn to live from that place of companionship.
Now, you can face treatment, uncertainty, relationships, and difficult decisions with a growing sense that God is with you, come what may. You can receive the care available to you, live as fully as you can each day, and remain open to whatever healing, meaning, or unexpected gift may emerge along the way.
This is obviously not an intellectual roadmap that can be applied indiscriminately to every situation. It’s a set of markers to help you sense the ebb and flow of the Spirit as you navigate this process or as you help someone do so. If you want me to talk you through this, please listen to this podcast.
There is no greater gift amid crisis and difficulty than the gift of presence—just being alongside them, witnessing their struggle, sharing their grief, affirming their journey as Jesus makes himself known. I hope this helps you.
