This has been a busy week around here. In response to the Injustice in Kenya, which I wrote about on Wednesday, we collected all we needed by Wednesday evening, and money has continued to come in. We are amazed at your overwhelming generosity and have sent the money on to rescue the orphans from this travesty of justice. Thank you so much. Sara and I are deeply grateful for how quickly people responded. The excess we will keep in our fund for relief in Kenya, as the needs there are always ongoing. Please know that everything given toward Kenaya will get there.
Also, this week I was on the Face-to-Face podcast with Melinda and Cathy. They called it Untangling Love: A Journey with Wayne Jacobsen. If you’re interested, you can watch it on YouTube here or get the audio wherever you normally get your podcasts. They really drilled down into some of my thoughts about living in the liberty of love and how that transforms us.
Finally, I wanted to recommend a book to you. I often get emails about how to find community, which for me means compassionate and supportive in-depth friendship with others on a Jesus journey. It can be a challenge in this age, where technology can be as much a barrier to relationships as a tool to connect.
A long-time friend of mine has just published a book to help with that challenge. It is called Relationships On the Run: How to Grow Authentic Connections and Lasting Intimacy in a Hurried Culture, by Stephanie Bennett. This book is not about instant friendships in a hurried culture; it’s about how to make space for the deeper connections available beneath the fast-paced society we live in. With stories from Scripture and real life, Stephanie helps readers find inspiration for love and friendship that flourish rather than simply survive.
Stephanie is the real deal. With a doctorate from Regent University, she is the Professor of Communication and Media Ecology at Palm Beach Atlantic University. She is also the author of the Within the Walls trilogy, a series of books about relationships amid hostile technology. I enjoyed the books immensely and recommended them here years ago. More importantly, she and her husband Earl have embraced relational life in Jesus for multiple decades. I first met them decades ago in New Jersey and have watched them in different environments find deep and meaningful relationships that enrich others, as well as themselves.
She asked me to write the Foreword for her book on relationships, which I was honored to do. Here it is
Foreword
Relationships make us rich.
And of course, by that I mean the good ones. Relationships that set us at ease, allow us to explore our own journey alongside others, and reward authenticity and vulnerability are the true riches of our humanity. To share the struggles and challenges of living in the twenty-first century with mutual compassion and encouragement, and to celebrate joy, however we find it, with good friends, gives life deep meaning and fulfillment.
My greatest joys have all been inside close, meaningful relationships.
But to be honest, they have also been the source of my deepest anguish.
When relationships are good, they are incredibly good, but when they turn manipulative or destructive, especially with people you care about, they cause untold pain. And yet, I have found that the joy of the former easily outweighs the risk of the latter.
The trick is learning to manage our relationships wisely, cultivating those that nourish our spirit, limiting our expectations so we make room for human weakness, repairing those we can that have been damaged and, when necessary, creating boundaries for those fraught with insecurity, jealousy, dishonesty, or threatening behaviors.
Relationships used to be far less complicated in the last century when I grew up. We weren’t hounded by social media or encouraged to brand ourselves. Most people we met lived down the street from us or were visible in our community. Character was more important than image. We held a lot of beliefs and passions in common, and it was far easier to connect.
But the lines for healthy relationships have shifted in recent decades.
Living authentically and vulnerably has never been more terrifying, and the things that can suddenly take a relationship sideways are often unforeseen. Our society rewards achievement over friendships and amusement over community; consequently, healthy relationships aren’t always easy to find.
This is a masterful work that will help you find and cultivate the kind of relationships that will make your life rich and rewarding. I couldn’t recommend this book highly enough. There are few opportunities to help us discover how healthy relationships work and to avoid the pitfalls that cause harm. You now hold one of those in your hands.
Your guide on this journey is Stephanie Bennett, a researcher and college professor specializing in communication and media ecology. She has a deep understanding of the power of healthy relationships. This isn’t just her academic pursuit; this is her life. Stephanie has been my friend for nearly thirty years. And even though we live on opposite coasts, we have found occasion to cross paths somewhere in the world and explore our combined passion for a relationship with God that’s transforming and connections with people that offer a continual resource of wisdom and encouragement.
She can help you appreciate the power of relationships and find ways to explore them joyfully.
What I respect most about Stephanie is that her words and her life synch up as a beautiful and authentic symphony. That’s not true of every writer I know; many espouse things for others they don’t aspire to themselves. I have seen her commitment to loving relationships inside her own family as a wife and mother, but also well beyond it to a wide circle of friendships. And this isn’t just in good times; I’ve seen her deal with difficult relationships, and she always finds a way to enhance the lives of others around her. I’ve watched her navigate crisis and heartache and have been a benefactor of her love and graciousness in my own times of struggle.
That’s what I appreciate most about writers I enjoy. I don’t look for perfection; we all have our blind spots and weaknesses. People don’t have to be successful, humorous, or well-connected. I want them to be real—to enjoy what they enjoy, have the vulnerability to struggle where they struggle, and the curiosity to question what they need to question while respecting that same process in others.
For me, genuineness is even more important when someone puts thoughts to paper for others to consider. Words are empty if they aren’t backed by a life that reflects them. Rest assured that these words are backed up by a kind and conscientious heart.
So more than recommending her thoughts to you, let me commend the woman herself. She’s as genuine a person as I’m pleased to know. Her compass is locked on a purpose greater than herself and that informs her actions and her graciousness to others.
As she shares the things that she has learned, you can rest assured she speaks from a reservoir of wisdom she has gained through personal experience. Her wisdom is enlightening, her passion for Jesus contagious, her ethics exemplary, and her faith deep and abiding.
These are the words of a woman who means them. I trust they will enrich and inspire you as much as her life has touched mine.
Get this book. You won’t regret it.
